Not sure what to say
Hi,
I am in a job for last 2 and half years where I am not able to enjoy it as much as I thought . Most of last 1 and half years i am just getting escalations every now and then. I dont think i am enjoying my working life as I should. But the thing which I am concerned at this ooint is I am not able to decide most of the time that when i am in fault and when others are. Every time someting happens i happen to take all the blame on me. Because it feels like everything is my fault. Others were at fault or not fault i cannot decide for them but yes everytime it is my fault i am just blaming to the point that i feel guily about my existance in every freaking thing happening around me. I am not sure if i should feel worthy enough to work or i feel i actually do not have that thing to work only.
Is this what happens to everybody? I just want to know if this drained out feeling is ever going to end ?? Or is it just being in a corporate world feels like.
@unassumingJar1322
Hello!
I think many can relate to you in this sense.
Work-life is hard to manage!
It’s understandable you are having these thoughts.
Remember to look after yourself. <3 ✨💛
How have you imagined you'll feel working the current job? What's different and similar about it? The faults that you're referring to, is this something that you have control over? Something that you need to improve on, to work in a way that there won't be any mistakes? Or are other people just blaming you for everything because you tend to give in and take the blame anyways? If it is not your fault, you need to stand up for yourself. You don't need to point out who was at fault, but if you're not the one who has done something wrong (and you should be clear on what you have or have not done), you need to voice it.
If you were to find another job, will this be another option for you? Working life is not always enjoyable for everyone. Some people only work a certain career because of the income, and others work because they have a passion for that career. Which ever type of person you are, we all need to learn how to work in ways that we don't tire ourselves out. If you have colleagues that you get along with, maybe ask for some advice. See how they handle these situations~
@unassumingJar1322
I actually did not ever imagined as such, my entire focus was on getting a job which pays well, i actually never though how would i manage once i get. but i guess when i started qorking i kind of imagined myself being more sufficient within 2 years, be able to handle issues on my own, and be able to good senior to my juniors,just like my seniors were to me. But I guess i am still in learning phase, and i am still not able to call myself a senior. I am still getting the escalations on not knowing properely. And yes, i have this tendency of taking the vlame, as a result now when somethingbgoes wrong, my seniors assume thay it will be my fault only. I actually cannot stand up for myself, it feels like i am taking ownership and just doing injustice with my work. And also if i say something, it might lead to an argument so better be silent and accept it rather than try to explain in team meetings.
I am not sure at this point whether changing company would be better or not. Like at this point i am not at all confident on myself. Like i have 0 confidence level. I dont know that if i am trying to say for my sake is it being selfish or not. Lot of tbings which roams in my mind acty
May I ask what field of work you are doing? When others blame you for faults, does it feel like they are bullies? In the past, I've had colleagues in my workplace where my good intentions were seen as offensive and a group of them ganged up on me and reported to their Manager. The situation was investigated, luckily, my Union Rep stood on my side and explained that what I did was right, and it was them that didn't follow protocol.
A colleague complained about my work before, and I was feeling wronged, making me really stressed and depressed whenever I saw her. It began to drain my energy and I worked inefficiently. Taking a toll on my otherwise, perfect performance. At first, I hesitated for a long time before speaking with my manager about it. But I want to be enjoying my work, and not be stressed every time I see that colleague. So, I stood up for myself and spoke with the Manager, and I found out from her, that she had been hearing a different story from that colleague comparing to what actually happened between the two of us. To know that my Manager says that she will keep an eye out and ears open, I felt more relieved to think that even she felt that I was wronged.
If you have trouble standing up for yourself, because you don't want to create conflict, I hate to break it to you, but in any type of work environment, there will always be someone who likes to blame others or step all over their colleagues. So, we must learn how to face these people and work with them, without affecting our own work. At this point, if you are able to, even after taking the blame, don't take it to heart. They are targeting the task, not you specifically.
There are some jobs that we will continuously be learning, so it's okay that in the last 2 years, that you still feel like a junior staff. I've been at my current position for a little over 2 years too, and I'm still learning something new everyday. It seems that because you are taking all the blame that it is draining you out. If you want things to turn out better, you either need to stand up for yourself, not let it impact you directly (especially if it's not your fault but taking the blame anyways), or change companies. If you can voice your concerns, as in being blamed for something you didn't do, don't say it in the team meetings, as it may make you feel less confident. If you can, speak with someone privately one-to-one, someone who isn't biased and can help with the situation.
Hi,
Thank you for your suggestion. I work in an IT firm. I am actially not at all satisfied with my gead of the team or my immediate boss you can say. Even if I try to stand up for myself he either tells me in front of everybody that itnis not anybody's fault and i should not vlame anyone or if i try to tell him one o one he tells that person with whom i am uncomfortable and then that person asks me about the things which i am not ready to talk about. It seems more like complaining. I dont know if the situations are like that or he just want unnecessary competition which i am not in favour at all. All i want to d9 is work in chill env and get paid fornthe qork i am doing. And i will give my 200 percent. But i d9nt think.itnis happening any soon so its i just want to know how to deal these kind of people who in front of entiren20 people only questions you, even though he knows i get panicked he always makes such situations where i will be nervous and say something irrelevant. I am.actually fed up and exhausted by this now
As an on-going problem between you and other colleagues, I get a feeling that they are picking on you. To them, you're an easy target to tease. This type of environment in a workplace can become very toxic. We often feel drained when no one is willing to stand on our side. To continue working for this company will only take a toll on your own mental health, and we all know, our mental health affects us physically too. We will begin to work inefficiently and become not as productive as we should be.
I encourage you to perhaps find a different company to work for. Your boss and colleagues will not change their attitude towards you. For a healthier work environment, improving/building on your confidence, look for a position that has a more friendly atmosphere. You can even start off with smaller companies, get the hang of things, build up more confidence in your work, then go and look for another position with higher pay.
Staying with this company any longer now, if things aren't improving for the better, you will just be very stressed and unhappy with your work on a daily basis. As you become less efficient and productive with your work, you'll only become less confident. Time for a change. Make a goal for this New Year, to look for a different company to work for. Set some goals in wanting to become more confident in your work, maybe even read some books that teach you how to communicate with others in a workplace.
@unassumingJar1322
Thank you for your kind words. Yes i am trying to get a job in mew firm so that i can leave this pleace but i am also mot very confident that i will ne able to crack any interviews.
Prepare for your interviews. Do some research on the new firms, express how your skills will be a good asset to them and that you're willing to keep learning.
Somehow I hear myself through your words. Yet I tell myself that I'm in my current job simply to get work experience. I try to take one day at a time. Yes it's not easy. Especially if you are in a toxic workgroup.
