"Some of my
coworkers were GREAT. Some were bad. But the reason I left was the toxic
work environment. The management did not listen to suggestions on work
improvement ideas… mandated us to work 16 hour shifts…"........."I was sleeping for 30 minutes each
night before work, I was eating once a day, I wasn’t able to relax and
do the things I used to enjoy. I started crying before and after work. I
would physically drag myself out of bed and cry in the shower before
work."
I have been exactly where you are......I have been in my career field since 1997, working for 2 different agencies. About 4 or 5 years ago I started experiencing intermittent bouts of burnout due to what you mention above....I'm not sure what event actually pushed me into the burnout because for many, many years I enjoyed my job....I think that as I grew older, my tolerance for the toxic work environment, co-workers who only care about them selves and their advancement, administration showing favoritism in promotions and work assignments...I think through the years,my tolerance for all all that has changed.....we were also mandated, but in my line of work, it has to be done due to the nature of our employment....I was taking the job home with me, in my head, catastrophizing and over thinking every situation at work, I also was unable to relax...I loved working out and riding my bike, I stopped completely for months....The bouts of burnout would come and go...they would last anywhere from days to weeks, with the one that pushed me over the edge lasting about 6 weeks...the longer bouts with burnout would lead to depression...they went hand in hand....One day on the way to work, I lost it and cried all the way there....I never cry......that was my breaking point....a 51 year old man, who has been through much worse in the past, crying over his job....that is when I decided I needed to do something. I couldn't just leave...financially I had too much to lose...just a 4 years or so away from retirement...it wasn't an option...I tried therapy...it went badly....but that is another story for another time.....I eventually found the help I needed and some coping mechanisms through the forums here at 7Cups and listeners....I'm not completely over it, I still work in the toxic environment, with the same people, but it is somewhat more manageable due to some of the techniques and things that people here have shared in their posts and replys.....I said all that to say this....you are not alone......Don't ever think you are alone....
I commend you for getting out of that environment while you are still young enough and don't have any responsibilities to keep you there. Keep your head up and keep the job search going. What I will say is, don't settle until you find what you are happy in. If you need to take something because you need to have money coming in that is fine, but keep looking for the job that you will be happy at. Working in a place you are not happy, for a long period of time, can really take a toll on you.....I'm sending good vibes into the universe for you. Keep us up to date on how the search is going.