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What is Your Safe Place?

blitheSun94 April 22nd, 2017

Readers,

For many of us, having a safe place to land can be the difference between traumatic events or a full-blown episode.

Is there a place that allows you to de-escalate when you feel you are losing control? Where do you feel most safe and comfortable?

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faithlove1111 April 25th, 2017

@blitheSun94, a safe place can be a room , a corner , a chair , a shady part of the garden or even your favourite coffee shop. I call it my little heaven. Having a safe place is really important because when you are at this place , it help you to rearrange your thoughts , make plans and many other things as you feel this place protects you and enables you to function well. Do you know blithe, if you are far away from your safe place, then maybe you could practise thinking about it to create the feeling of safe which in turn will allow your thoughts n feelings to start funtioning again. But it is really important to talk to someone if you constantly have the need or seek to be in your safe place and connot function without it.

2 replies
blitheSun94 OP May 7th, 2017

@faithlove1111

An important point indeed! I believe what you are describing is referred to as "mindfulness", and does in fact take a ton of practice. With this, however, you come to know the sanctuary you carry inside yourself and more importantly, how to access it anytime.

1 reply
faithlove1111 May 19th, 2017

@blitheSun94, smileyyes

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Kaylei72 April 25th, 2017

My safe place is my bed. It is only my safe place of my dog is with me

1 reply
SoftForestHSP77 September 25th, 2017

@Kaylei72 I'm glade you have a safe place. I love my bed too.

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Phoenix84 April 25th, 2017

Looking back over the years, I'd say 'anywhere I can be alone with my thoughts' is the best answer.

Before I injured my knee 3yrs ago I'd go running or biking for a couple hours. to escape into my brain. I'm able to reach more or less the same state through meditation. Every year I try to take 2 weeks off to unplug, and either go to the campground 20min from city limits, or just go driving, or stay around and go to the quiet spots around here.

Couple times in this last 9 months on the journey of a thousand steps, I've gone on 3-4hr drives down the highway JUST for the solitude. Won't be able to go camping for a couple weeks, until it warms up here in june or so.

5 replies
blitheSun94 OP May 7th, 2017

@Phoenix84

Very well done! These are excellent coping skills. I can very much relate to the need for solitude. Sometimes I'll even hide in the bathroom if that's my only option. Which usually turns into a bubble bath. :) I admire your strength of character and awareness of needs.

4 replies
Phoenix84 May 10th, 2017

@blitheSun94

Helps to have been at this a while. I've had the time to learn by trial and error (and error, and error, and error... ).

3 replies
blitheSun94 OP May 11th, 2017

@Phoenix84

of course! We humans have very few inherent skills and must practice, practice, practice.

2 replies
Phoenix84 May 12th, 2017

@blitheSun94

I'm sure if you asked my family, there have been a number of times I would have failed a Turing test over the last 16-17yrs.

1 reply
blitheSun94 OP May 12th, 2017

@Phoenix84

yayyy! Philosophy reference. 👏🏻

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Compassion21 May 11th, 2017

When I lay my head on my husbands chest to hear his heartbeat. Or sitting with my cat.

1 reply
blitheSun94 OP May 19th, 2017

@Compassion21

i have someone for this too :)

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RoseD May 23rd, 2017

I don't get to go there very often, but a place where I get re-centered and calmer and in touch with God is the Gardens at the Getty Center. There's a beautiful stream running through the garden, and this one spot where I can sit by the bridge and surruptitiously (as long as security isn't watching) dip my feet in. It's the most calming thing. I sit there for hours, reading and journaling and just... existing.

4 replies
ladylazarus1971 May 23rd, 2017

@RoseD I love that garden! Especially the different sounds the water makes as it runs through the altering stream designs. I don;t live in California, but the next time I visit, I'm definitely going back there.

2 replies
RoseD May 23rd, 2017

@ladylazarus1971 Yes! It's a lovely place. And there's lots of shady spots to sit against the cool, polished granite, too. I hope you get to rest there again sometime soon.

blitheSun94 OP May 24th, 2017

@ladylazarus1971

It's so neat that you know what she's talking about!

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blitheSun94 OP May 24th, 2017

@RoseD

What a great way to calm down. I wish I was closer to a water source like the one you describe.

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OrangeYouGlad68 July 8th, 2017

I have never tried to describe it before but I will try.

When feeling overwhelmed or trapped I close my eyes and go to the campfire. It is night time and there are no car, house or street lights around, it is up on a wide hill that has mature trees on the right side. To the left of the trees is a large pond that encompasses the entire top of the hill, except one grassy area and that is where my campfire is. A warm golden,orange glow that makes me feel like I have my own private minature sunshine that offers just the right warmth, light and goodness. Muscles drop their tension and my breathing is a relaxed rhythm. Then I look up and see the ebony sky embellished with glimmering jewels, too many to count. And the moon gives a nod with its silvery light. Cool night air passes gently by and the water laps like a soft drummer. The world of stress and anxiety are far, far from this place.

I don't have a physical place to go - my campfire is available where ever I am in this world.

Turtles089 July 8th, 2017

My safe place is my room. No matter what (most off the time) my family willl knock. Since I'm abused verbally and emotionally it's very comforting and it clears my mind. Even since I'm 14 I still have my two "safe items" my teddy bear and 'blankie' ( who are older then me 😉)

1 reply
blitheSun94 OP July 10th, 2017

@Turtles089

I love stuffed animals and still use them. I'm almost 30, lol.

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helpfulNest9115 September 25th, 2017

the bathtub.

SoftForestHSP77 September 25th, 2017

My safe place seems to be at my work. :) I read, Listen to members, meditate and I feel safe.

blitheSun94 OP September 29th, 2017

I take baths every night also.

1 reply

@blitheSun94 I did that last night. Thank you for reminding me of that.

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