My bipolar disorder ruined my life
I'm at work so long story short, I have pushed everyone I cared about away including my family, I went my entire childhood without knowing I was bipolar, I was 19 when I got diagnosed. I have no close friends, I have a boyfriend who loves me and that's about it. Even he can't handle my mood swings anymore and I'm on psych meds. I feel angry about how my life turned out, go into random rages and cry randomly. My memory is also shot and I work a third shift job for slave wages which makes me depressed.
I feel like there's no hope for me and that no one cares about me anymore. So my question is what should I do? I feel like my life is damaged beyond repair and I don't know how to cope anymore...
FWIW, I have a corporate job, a wife & kids, and a big house in a nice neighborhood & I hate my life and wish I were dead.
Why? How can you have everything and still feel that way?
@BlueMoon1994
Are you on any medication? I am learning that it's never going to be easy but to roll with the punches. In terms of socially, I am not sure as I'm very lonely as well and don't want to burden others. I have a dog I spend a lot of time with that helps some. The only advice I can give is to keep going, time helps put things in perspective. Let me know if you want to chat
Thank you I'd appreciate it
I am alone to with my dog and two cats. On lithium which exhausts me.
I am type 1 Bipolar along with a multitude of other disorders attached to that. When my mania hits I have the same issue of blind rage, crying spells, and abnormal behavior. I still struggle to find good coping methods and stop the cutting for good. The main issue is (as my husband puts it) that it's like a light switch controlled by someone else and we never know what's coming next. The only thing i'm able to see coming is the blind rage as my body will get hot, my ears ring, and I fly off the handle for no reason. I wake up most days wishing I didn't. I think the only thing that saves me is that I have 3 dogs and a husband who need me.
I've had to focus on what I can control and what I can't. Something doesn't go according to plan i lose it at times. My therapy has me do what he calls fire drills. Should my mood change we call fire drill and that's when I have to walk away, listen to music, or keep myself busy to let out all the issues I'm having at that moment. This way I don't explode on the only person who seems to give 2 sh**s about me.
I am so sorry, your situation sounds a whole lot worse than mine. I need to be in therapy just trying to find one that will take my insurance.
Wolf it sounds like you have a supportive husband, which is really something to be grateful for 🙂
I have bipolar 1 and I just lost my job. I feel hopeless. I don’t know if I’ll get to work in another school district.
Compassionate why? Did something happen?
Focus on small, achievable goals and practice self-care, even in small ways. Remember, healing and improvement are possible, and there are people who can help you through this.
Hi Moon,
I want you to know that you are brave for facing these challenges and still going on strong.
Bipolar is a horrible illness and it makes life very difficult.
I'm glad you have a good boyfriend and you receive some good support from him! That is priceless!!
I want you to promise me something though, that you will keep trying, no matter what. You will not throw in the towel, ever!! That is the most important thing moon that we keep on trying and going. That will itself make our lives meaningful, even if the rewards take some time to come around.
Thank you for reading, if you did 😅
Take care ❤️
I've been there too, feeling lost and alone. One thing that helped me was finding a good therapist who specializes in bipolar disorder. It made a huge difference.
Also, try to find a support group, either in person or online. Talking to others who understand can really help. Please hang in there and take one day at a time. There is hope, even when it doesn't feel like it.
You are not alone
I also have bipolar and I was diagnosed since 2020 when I was 24 .
