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CaliConfined
712 M Little Steps
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts62 Forum posts42 Forum upvotes42 Current upvotes42 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2024 Member sinceJune 29, 2023
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Bipolar, Schizophrenia & Psychosis Support / by CaliConfined
Last post
 October 16th, 2023
...See more Howdy,  I felt the urge to write on here. BD1 diagnosis 5 + years and it's been a roller coaster, to say the least. I have been on a new medication Abilify for a little over a month with some positives like minor suppression of my irritability/anger. I have a doc appt here soon on the 19th with a new doctor (due to insurance) and am eager to see his thoughts/direction. I quit my last job in March of this year in a severely agitated manic state. My unemployment just ran out from it (My employer was nice enough to lay me off). On top of that, I have 4 more months until my driver's license comes off suspension from a DUI in July 2022 (still ashamed of that) - so that makes a job nearly impossible until then. I fear quite often what I am going to do once my license comes back. I have a bachelor's degree and some experience in a few industries but there are gaps in my resume from 3 episodes in the last 5-6 years. You start to lose hope because you know more episodes are coming. The unpredictability of a work environment + the instability that comes out over time is a scary mix. It's not fun not knowing where money will come from or if you can even work all together consistently for it to matter.  Lastly, I am 28 years old and live at home with my parents and I am very insecure about this. Friends of mine I grew up with are buying houses... It humiliates me that I haven't been able to succeed independently, but I don't see it any other way with the severity of some of my episodes. These days, I journal and workout a lot. I spend time with my pup and try to keep calm while time passes. It's tough, but it's been worse. If you took the time to read this, thank you.
Abilify
Bipolar, Schizophrenia & Psychosis Support / by CaliConfined
Last post
 September 19th, 2023
...See more Hello, I took my first dose of Abilify (aripiprazole) today. This is in conjunction with my existing lithium regimen. The doctor said my medication wasn't quite right as been in a deep depression for months. Does anyone else have experience with Abilify? I was hesitant about starting antipsychotics due to the connotation of the name (scary) and side effects but my recovery hit a wall and needed something more. I have kind of given in and will take anything recommended at this point as I am a pointless zombie human at this point. I am at the mercy of this disease. Leave thoughts if you wish.
Bi Polar
Bipolar, Schizophrenia & Psychosis Support / by CaliConfined
Last post
 August 12th, 2023
...See more Does the medical field REALLY know what's going on with this disorder? Lots of unknowns and guessing with medication.
Life with BiPolar 1
Bipolar, Schizophrenia & Psychosis Support / by CaliConfined
Last post
 August 1st, 2023
...See more How bizarre is this disorder? Will never understand it fully and how it deceiving it can be - just doesn't make sense. Once I pick up the pieces from my last episode and get some progress it all crumbles again. Done giving myself false hope for the future of modern-day "success" and trying to accept the reality of not having a normal life. I have eliminated romantic relationships as it's not fair for the other person to deal with the bizarreness. NO CHANCE for having kids. Protecting friends from myself. Limiting liability all around. In terms of a career, I've bounced around a few paths which ultimately end in some facet due to my disorder. All this may sound extreme but so is this disorder - the need to prevent damage by extreme measures. Anyways, new here and wanted to find other people out there with the same diagnosis/struggles. It seems the overall vibe I've seen is that the medical field still doesn't REALLY know what's going on as there are so many variables and each diagnosis is unique. I sincerely hope others out there are doing well. This post may sound depressing, but I am alright. Just wish it wasn't so.
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