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I just get embarrassed a lot bc I miss very obvious conclusions and jokes 😔

Literally same here, my partner says ‘that’s so autistic of you’ and it’s nice that finally I have a reason of why I am why I am but I feel so left out sometimes that I don’t usually understand ‘normal’ sayings and conversations

@MIMIXVXX

Greetings, to the person that wrote this comment,

As I started reading ur post.. it provided me an explanation that was so dead on point and relatable. 

Plz chat/ or connect with me , I have some questions and i need some help learning more about my disorder ?!?!

I didn't know that I was autistic at first. I just thought I was crazy.

I am proud of it. But I stay at home most the time. I noticed how weird I respond compared to people around me.

@Auspicidy

In daily life, my autism mainly shows in high levels of anxiety and very low energy.

Life is overwhelming and unpredictable. It's exhausting, and people don't understand why simply exhisting takes so much out of me. Pair that with having to mask and life becomes impossible at times.

Being exhausted, scared and overwhelmed, but having to put on an act in front of people, is excruciating. My interests and worldview are vastly different from other people, I don't naturally smile, I don't naturally move as others do, I don't naturally speak more than a bare minimum, but I have to pretend like it's all natural and do it whenever someone is looking. Then inevitably I get burnout and I have meltdowns and people call me difficult or lazy or manipulative.

I'm a kind person. I'm easy to get along with. I have colorful interests and love learning about the world and other people. But I'm not built for a neurotypical, capitalist society. I can't work a job or go to university. I can't drive a car or go overwhelming places.

I hope one day I get to live a life where I'm not forced to do anything anymore. Where I can live authentic and free and feel safe. That's what I'm wishing to all of us that are struggling.

This is me, am i autistic?

@Auspicidy

I've learned to be comfortable being somewhat of a loner. I have three good friends, but I'm usually alone.

I would like to be better at eye contact and wish choosing my body language and facial expressions was effortless. But I suspect that my ability to hold unusual opinions has to do with my autism, and I love that about myself.

@windchimes1991 OMG the eye contact I hate it O-O

@Auspicidy

Ooh, both!!

@Auspicidy Honestly, I can get a little bit burnt out, but I can also experience strange feelings if you guys know what I mean. I dislike how I am usually the last one to get the joke, and I am very emotionally sensitive to certain things that might make me uncomfortable.

On the bright side, something that I love about having autism is my "special interests" that are honestly random facts and knowledge that I about certain subjects. Some of my interests are wolves, flowers, bees, music, and Jane Austen books. 

I wish that the world could be built a little bit better for us.

Bye for now, thanks for the great question (I needed this) 

@Auspicidy

do not know how affect me not proud or ashamed i don’t understand autism try understand so much times just can’t so just not care have that autism just sit there inside me I guess ?

The way I am causes so much trouble. My parents don’t really get me and my friends and girlfriend also don’t. I feel misunderstood most of the time. And it makes me feel so lonely. At the same time I can’t really be someone else. So I’m condemned to a life isolated from most ppl

@independentOcean9796

I understand completely. I've always felt I had mask or hide my autism from everyone. I got in trouble throughout childhood for being just being me. It's been really hard for me to be "normal". It's very lonely. I'm sorry you have to go through that. You're not alone and you are so strong and brave for how you have made it through this struggle in life. :)

@neonhighlife

I can relate to everything you said here. I've felt the same way throughout my life. It's hard to explain to anyone, in fear they will not understand. And the bad experiences with people not understanding and shaming us for something we have little control over is hard to get past. I remember every time someone mad me feel small, or just bad for being how I am. 

Do you mask a lot? I learned early in life it was easier to mask my real self and be what I thought I was expected to be by everyone. I wish I hadn't learned this way because it's very hard to do all the time. I have a huge desire to just be myself but I rarely feel safe enough to do it. It's so exhausting. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I know you hate it, I do too. But I'm glad we have a place to talk about it, and to be ourselves. I'm glad you are here at 7cups :)

Autism affects my life, and has always, in more ways than I can explain. I would say that I am proud to be autistic, but I've always felt shame for the way that I think or do things also. I've always felt alone in life. Even around people that I love and know for sure love me. I didn't always know I was on the spectrum, but, my god, did it explain so much. I was often punished as a child, for being just how I am I guess you could say. I learned early on to hide myself from others. Masking has always felt necessary in 99 percent of the human interactions that I've had in life. It took a long time for me to be able to fit in, and now I kind of can in any situation easily. But I have a horrible habit of mimicking people still. I think maybe I have BPD also lol. 

I think two people have seen me. Like me, me. I'm working on unmasking now, it's been hard to accept myself for who I am, because I was taught it was not acceptable to be different my whole life. I know that is ok to be myself now. No matter how different I am than most. I have a lot to offer, and I want people to accept me for who I am in life. I wish it was as easy to do, as it is to say it on here. Hopefully, one day, I'll be able to unmask. I'd really like that. 

@Auspicidy 

I feel quite content being autistic. While I can be incredibly clueless and emotionally detached majority of the time, it doesn't bother me. I like being so separated from people because it feels peaceful and serene.

@Auspicidy

Im sort of both proud and ashamed. Im ashamed because when ever i stim or show my autistic traits everyone is like eww and wth but im also proud because i have learnt to excpet myself for who i am and not give a s4 about what other ppl say and think 

Tbh I feel a mix of both... I'm proud to have autism because I have talents that I probably wouldn't otherwise. I also feel like my hyperfixations help me stay motivated to work on stuff like my novel, artwork, etc.

But I also feel ashamed because my autism is partly what led me to being treated like a nobody in elementary school. By the time I finished with 6th grade, I decided that masking was a better option. 

It honestly sucks, and I feel so alone... I mean sure, my school has awareness things for stuff like this, but to me, it feels fake. It doesn't help, in fact it makes me feel worse. I just wish I didn't feel so weird around people as I sit alone during lunch or try and walk in the halls without running into anyone

I'm on the higher end of the spectrum for autism, but honestly, I feel almost as inferior as any self conscious autistic person would feel. I always feel like other people think my hyperfixations are stupid, and I'm super self-conscious about my body.

So honestly I'm more ashamed than proud... Though I've learned decent masking, and people have actually said they didn't know I had autism until I said something 🤷 

I can relate to all of you... It's nice to know I'm not the only one😅

Its really hard to make eye contact and i feel like clown in social interaction

I feel like i am very boring and useless and i struggle to maintain eye contact