Depression & Special Interests
I think depression is ruining my enjoyment of my special interest.
It is really sad... I have no joy or enthusiasm recently, no motivation. Usually, that would only extend to other parts of my life & I'd still be able to engage with my special interest, because it's what I enjoy most and obsessed with & gave me respite from my mental health.
However the last few months, I've not been able to feel joy or happiness from anything, not even my special interest ≽^╥⩊╥^≼
& it makes me feel like I don't even like it anymore, which is an absolutely devastating feeling. I know I do still like it, I just feel so empty.
I have no motivation or energy to engage with it, so all day I do nothing. I haven't been able to do any of my usual activities related to my special interest and it makes me SO sad. I cry a lot. I almost feels like I'm grieving it. It makes my depression feel worse. I don't want to get up ever and nothing feels worth the effort.
Life sucks at the moment, I feel like I have nothing left anymore 😭
@SleepyShyCat Hey you ❤️ I can't tell you how relatable your post here is. I'm sorry you're struggling with this too. Depression does steal the joy out of everything and leaves you feeling absolutely bleh 😞
@mytwistedsoul
Soul 🥺❤️
I'm not sure there is anything different I can do, nothing feels ok and there is no motivation. There's not anything I want to try, I just feel like staying in bed all the time.
Doing nothing solves nothing, but idk. Depression makes me not care. But I still feel sad about the loss of everything. :(
@SleepyShyCat *offer's safe hugs* I'm really sorry you're feeling this way Shy 😞 I know the feeling of don't care is hard too. I know sometimes people suggest forcing yourself to do something but that's hard too
If you take an antidepressant maybe the dosage needs to be changed? I wish I had something better to offer. I know from my own experience that it's really hard feeling this way. In a way you are grieving because it's something that makes you feel like you 😞 And having people tell you that it will pass eventually doesn't help any either
@mytwistedsoul
I'm sorry you've felt this way too :(
I'm forcing myself to go to therapy, but that's about it right now. I feel SO empty and detached from everything. I wish I felt able to engage with the activities I liked :(
It's ok not to know what to suggest, I don't really think there is much to say. It doesn't feel like much of a way out to me.
@SleepyShyCat Thank you ❤️ I'm glad you're still going to therapy. It's hard to even go to that too sometimes. Sometimes going out in the sun helps me feel better. Sometimes socializing here does. It might be short lived but it was a reprieve ya know?
@mytwistedsoul
Being in the sun is nice, when I can get myself out there... Sometimes I have small moments (seconds, really) in the late afternoon when the sun comes through my window and it makes my room orange and pretty, that I think "this is nice". When I'm sad I keep my curtains closed and no sun comes in.
Being here can be nice too, if certain people are around. There's only a few who will talk to me, and it can feel even more isolating if no one acknowledges me, feeling invisible.
I might be able to start art therapy in the future, but I don't know when. I'm currently having my needs assessed to figure out a support plan, but it's taking awhile. Art therapy has been mentioned though. So maybe. Eventually.
It would be fun to volunteer with cats, but to do so I'd need to be independent in getting there and doing the tasks talking to people etc. It isn't really accessible sadly.
For now, I'm just resting. Maybe too much, but I don't have energy. So rest it is.
Thanks for responding to me soul ❤️
@SleepyShyCat Today is international cat Day!
