Silently Struggling: Neurodiversity, Career Transition, and Overwhelming Family Presence
I recently quit a highly stressful job and was looking forward to several weeks of personal time for reflection, recovery, and planning my next career move. However, my plans for solitude and self-discovery have been completely derailed by an extended family visit.
Both of my parents are staying with me for a family gathering. While I knew about the event, I wasn't consulted on the length of their stay, which is significantly longer than I anticipated or feel comfortable with. This visit coincides with what I had hoped would be a crucial period of personal and professional development before I start my job search.
Adding to the complexity, I strongly suspect I may have Type I ASD and ADHD, but I haven't shared this with my family. I've been high-masking for years, and they're completely unaware of my struggles. They often misinterpret my need for alone time as being ornery or standoffish.
With my parents here, I'm finding it nearly impossible to get the quiet time I need to process my career transition and explore my neurodivergent traits. My mom, in particular, is constantly trying to engage with me or involve me in family activities. While I appreciate her intentions, her presence is overwhelming, and I'm struggling to find moments of peace even in my own home.
I feel trapped because I can't discuss this with my friends. Most of them don't have both parents, and I fear they'd see me as ungrateful if I expressed my frustration. My boyfriend, who is likely neurodivergent himself (possibly AuDHD and mildly narcissistic), means well but doesn't fully understand my situation either.
I can't openly express my need for space or explain my suspicions about being neurodivergent without raising questions I'm not prepared to answer. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation where family obligations clash with a critical period of personal growth and self-discovery, especially when you're masking neurodiversity, navigating a major life transition, and feeling unable to confide in those closest to you?