🫂 Share Your Story Here - Autism Support 🫂

@beck1

Thanks for this great post, Becki!

✨When did you get your diagnosis? If you're not diagnosed yet, when did you start thinking that you are autistic? - I got my diagnosis very young in childhood (around 4-6 years old) I don't completely remember.

✨ How does it affect you/your daily life? - It mostly affects my sensory and communication which leads to people thinking you're a freak or a weirdo.

✨ Do you have people in your life you feel like understand or support you? If so, who do you have? - I have my family who is supportive and a few friends, but outside of that circle, not a lot of people take time to get to know you or understand you.

✨ If you don't have support, what support do you wish you had? - I have support, but for others, I hope they find someone who can understand them or at least supports how they feel about things.

✨ What is something you would like to educate other people on about Autism? - People with Autism aren't dumb and we do feel and express emotions.

@beck1

✨When did you get your diagnosis? If you're not diagnosed yet, when did you start thinking that you are autistic? - I got diagnosis last year on my birthday. I did my testing before my birthday but on my day I got my diagnosis for high functioning autism.

✨ How does it affect you/your daily life?

-well to be honest, not much as I still struggle with social interactions in some situations but it gave me understanding of who I am but it was still struggling to know my strengths with my autism.

✨ Do you have people in your life you feel like understand or support you? If so, who do you have?

- my family and a few friends support me. They help me make sure we make clarity on "is this what you ment or something else", listening, and making sure I understand the subject that is not too confusing.

✨ If you don't have support, what support do you wish you had?

I do wish I had a better understanding of social ques, interactions, or anything that would doesn't lead to a "im acting crazy" sense

✨ What is something you would like to educate other people on about Autism ?

Autism is a spectrum and it is different from person to person like any nerotypical person but people on the autism spectrum disorder need a little more support as we don't want to hide behind a mask and just play on the same stage as anyone else.

✨ What resources do you wish were on Cups about Autism ?

Hmmm this forum is a great start. We could definitely have a posting on strengths on having autism and having resources to look at for people who are the spectrum that can look at if they are adult late diagnosed so we can see something that says "hey that is like me"

✨When did you get your diagnosis? - I was diagnosed this year at the age of 34.

✨ How does it affect you/your daily life? - I'm not sure how to tell other peoples intentions so it gets me in to some sticky situations. I'll believe what people tell me as I can't understand why anyone would lie. I'm quite sensitive as well to sounds, smells and other things.

✨ Do you have people in your life you feel like understand or support you? If so, who do you have? Thankfully yes, I do have a lot of people who understand. Some people say they understand and accept it but as soon as my needs become an inconvenience they find it problematic or don't believe I'm autistic.

✨ If you don't have support, what support do you wish you had? I'm fine as I am.

✨ What is something you would like to educate other people on about Autism ? When people use the term "high functioning", what they mean is your autism doesn't impact other people greatly. They don't understand the struggles you have underneath in order to present so well. I have been going through life doing my best to fit in for 35 years now without a diagnosis, of course I don't look or act like I have autism... that doesn't mean it doesn't impact me.

@beck1 hello so i was never diagnosed but someone i know who has two autistic children looked at me and said, "I wonder if you have aspergers" and i decided to look into it cuz i never thought about it. Ive done more research than you know and i know i have it.. so i went to my parents to ask if i could get a diagnosis because i finally felt heard and finally understand why i feel certain ways and i would really love the help. My parents tore me down and said no. Im going to wait till im moved out to get one so i can get help because this is so hard to deal with. All my life ive been the weird kid and no one understands or understood so thats why whenever i looked into autism i finally felt like i have a home. Im sorry for that being long

I’ve never been diagnosed. Grew up poor so not much healthcare, but I definitely knew I was different from most ppl around me based on my interests as a kid and lack of desire to socialize with others. I found far more comfort in nature and with animals and some indigenous elderly members of my community than I did with kids my age. Learned more about autism in my early 20s and realized most of my friends were diagnosed as autistic. They all kept saying I was likely autistic haha, but I started identifying with symptoms such as hyper-focusing (and subsequently info-dumping), particularities about what my feet and hands touched, and having a strong aversion to loud sounds like balloons popping. In elementary, I started noticing how hard it was to make and keep eye contact. Then I’d try so hard to keep eye contact to the point that I was staring intensely and creeping my teachers out. I’d get so anxious, I’d start sweating. 😅 I also would eat foods purely for the texture and not the taste. Remember when rice cakes were popular? I loved those tasteless bits of styrofoam bc they were very stimming to eat.

I have structured my daily life around my sensitivities. So I try not to have many loud sounds (unless I’m singing) and I’ve worked pretty hard to live alone bc most ppl who aren’t autistic think my mannerisms are weird. I’m also quite polite and a little giddy towards others and a lot of ppl are afraid of that demeanor. I usually use stimming to my advantage in my work life, like typing. I have a writing intensive job and it’s very soothing to feel and hear the keyboard sounds. I color code almost everything for ease of mind and I have at least a dozen pairs of grippy socks so my feet don’t have to touch the floor. I’ve also gone through so many pairs of shoes bc I’m still learning how to not walk on the sides of my feet, haha. Additionally, unless I have pent up energy and/or am manic, I’m very introverted to a fault. I’ve had neighbors knock on my door and I always open it an inch or two with the chain lock and just stare at them until they say something. I’ve been a hermit for as long as I can remember and I honestly love it.

No. The ppl in my life are mostly cut off bc they were quite violent towards me for being who I am. No one likes that I’m soft-spoken, but if I’m manic and loud, that’s a problem too. Ppl at work try to bully me bc they think I’m weird, but they’re also jealous of me bc I excel at everything I do and am extremely fast and thorough with my documentation (bc typing is very stimulating to me). Also it’s hard to go through life without ppl thinking I must be guilty of something because I can get wide-eyed and fidgety when someone suddenly interrupts me and I guess it makes it look like I was doing something I shouldn’t have. A friend once pointed that out to me when I was 15 and it’s been proven true since. My partner however understands and supports me bc she’s autistic too, so it’s something we bond over and we’ve developed codes to express how we’re feeling when we’re a bit nonverbal. It’s also nice to just communicate with each other clearly and bluntly bc we can’t fully understand each other otherwise. It eliminates a lot of common communication problems couples have.

I wish I had family members who supported me. It would’ve made life easier to know there was someone on my side. I wish my job had a zen room where I could decompress away from others. No one seems to care when I’m meditating and often interrupt me. I also wish that there were disability accommodations in this society for autistic people and not just in the education system.

From what I’ve learned, autism isn’t a one size fits all problem…it’s hardly a problem at all. Ppl’s reaction to autism is the real problem. And there isn’t a one size fits all solution and/or approach to autism. Just talk to the individual with autism and understand their needs and concerns. Also be sure to not make much eye contact. 😋

I’m new to Cups so I wouldn’t know what resources could help that aren’t already here. The fact that there’s an autism sharing forum here with a color coded prompt is amazing to me already. I do hope to learn more about myself by reading everyone stories here. Thanks for being welcoming ☺️

@beck1

When did you get your diagnosis? If you're not diagnosed yet, when did you start thinking that you are autisic?

I have always thought that I might be autistic. Some moments more than others. I have spent a lot of my life trying to understand other people and how they function and trying to 'fit in' as best as I can but I've always known but I would always dismiss the thought and feeling until recently. I am 23 and it was this year that for the first time I mentioned the thought that continuously pops up in my head especially when I'm in a hyperfocused mood to an old friend. After saying it out loud to the friend I researched the symptoms of autism for the first time in my life and I've never read anything that explained my experience of the world so accurately.

✨ How does it affect you/your daily life?

I just find social interactions and people draining. It's weird I know how to function in a social scenario, not all of them and I find groups really overwhelming and I tend not to speak, but it's just overwhelming. Some days more than others for example today I just got back to my room and just felt so panicked and anxious because just having to interact with people it just idk I have panic attacks sometimes but I've never said that to anyone but it's genuinely so overwhelming and it makes me so anxious. Not all the time but when I have to spend lots of time with other people like I'm doing a social thing now so it's been five days of having to be social and function in those scenarios and it's just so tiring. I have panic attacks often. I also struggle to eat and sometimes showering feels so difficult but I'm getting a hang of it more now but still. I think I have an eating disorder. I've never said it out loud and I've been thinking about it for a long time but I think it is linked to autism. Sorry to have written so much I don't get a chance to talk to anyone about this ever. I could go on like everything is so bright and noisy but I'll stop here. It just impacts me in many different ways.

✨ Do you have people in your life you feel like understand or support you? If so, who do you have?

No I feel like I spend a lot of my life trying to understand others which is fine because it's my choice but it makes me sad because I don't feel like anyone truly understands me or tries to understand me. I don't really have anyone. It's fine because I support myself a lot but sometimes I think about the fact it would be nice to have a genuine person who understood and truly cared.

✨ If you don't have support, what support do you wish you had?

I think just someone I could relate to. I am a PoC LGBTQ person who is neurodivergent and idk it's always nice when you have someone who can truly understand the intersecting components of an identity with different facets. So I just wish I guess I had at least one friend who could understand all of it. Maybe that's too much to ask hah idk and also above that it would just be nice to have a community that understands the experience of autism, especially in adults. It's so specific and unique and it would just be nice to read other people's stories and talk to people and relate to them and know that I am not alone in my experience of the world.

✨ What is something you would like to educate other people on about Autism ?

The fact that autism is unique to each individual and shows up in diverse ways. Of course there are some aspects that might be more common than others but masking and the media mean that lots of people have big misconceptions about autism, especially autism in those who identify as women. I wish people would listen more to individuals and their understanding of their own experience, especially since recieving an official diagnosis for adults is very difficult and expensive and it can take years with certain healthcare systems. It makes it so inaccessible and it's not fair to not be believed when talking about your own individual experience just because there are barriers to accessing the necessary support.

✨ What resources do you wish were on Cups about Autism ?

I have only just joined this forum but I think it would be cool to have a friend aspect where we could make new friends with other people who have a similar experience.

@beck1

✨When did you get your diagnosis? If you're not diagnosed yet, when did you start thinking that you are autistic?

I haven’t been diagnosed yet but I will have one around September or October but everyone in my family has it but getting one can be expensive and time consuming so we haven’t been able to get me one till now due to a study on autism

✨ How does it affect you/your daily life?

I struggle a lot with showing and feeling emotions. Most the time I have a black emotionless face my teacher actually mentioned it yesterday saying she can read me and that my poker face was very good. A lot of the time people think I am sad or upset and it gets almost annoying how offten people ask if I am okay as someone who most the time doesn’t have a emotion if that makes sense I am just okay or neutral I am not good nor am I bad this also concerns people. (I could go on with other stuff but I’ll leave it a this)

✨ Do you have people in your life you feel like understand or support you? If so, who do you have?

Many friends in my friend group have autism so we joke and talk about it all the time

✨ If you don't have support, what support do you wish you had?

In my new friend group I don’t think they really had heard of it before I joined they don’t really ask much about it or how it effects me I wish I could tell them more about it and how it effects me so they understand what I do more of the time. And I haven’t got any support at all for autism cuz I mask a lot so people don’t think I need help when I do

✨ What is something you would like to educate other people on about Autism

Difficulties with emotions and going non verbal

✨ What resources do you wish were on Cups about Autism ?

im not sure if I am being honest I like these forums though I get to tell people things I wish I could tell more people

@beck1

I was diagnosed with autism and selective mutism last year i had symptoms for four years .

They affect me alot because have rountines if they need to change without notice panic . i am panicky around new people crowded places and loud nosises .

If you're not sure what selective mutism is its when you cant speak in social settings because anxiety triggers a freeze response .

@beck1

my mom really supports me