Super low self-esteem, people pleaser, who am I?
I am a 30 something woman who has a very low self-esteem.I always put others first and my worth is fulfilled only when people get interested in me so I look at what they want and try to please them. I avoided the social situations that make me feel anxious and want to be both being attention from others or not being spotted coz I was afraid I would do something wrong. Actually I am a good looking girl who attract men so I feel anxious when they stare or look for others whether I'm being judged by them. I judged the people and always think they all are better than me somehow. I like to be perfect all the time and lead the conversation to be I'm superior or inferior for external thing like knowledge, wealth, no of friends, etc. I think I'm not good enough and care too much on how people will think about me. I try to please everyone whom I don't know to impress them that I'm confident and cling to person whom I feel superior than me to feel safe and protected from the watching eyes. I'm guilty being like this and feel never good enough or tell myself that I'm a bad person. I have no opinions on things and just pleasing people make me feel worthwhile. What should I do to start quitting feeling bad about myself and can socialize well with people? Any suggestions would be grateful or u can share the same story that u have