Social Anxiety and Group Support Chat
Does anyone else experience social anxiety at the thought of participating in Group Support Chat? In my case, the SA (that everyone's going to think, "Oh no! Here comes Stupid!") is compounded by the fear that I'll stupidly say something that makes another member of the chat feel worse than they already do. And, from what I've seen, a lot of people in those chats are really hurting, which makes me cringe at the thought of causing more hurt.
On the other hand, maybe I just worry too much and overthink everything. Actually, I know I do, but that doesn't mean my concerns are totally invalid.
Does anyone else identify with any of this?
@quietThomas
When I first started going into chat rooms I felt like the new kid at school. LOL It is good for other people to identify with one another I have anxiety as well. Some of the people in the forum chat rooms are very nice people. Hoping you have a nice peaceful day
@quietThomas Group Support is easier for me as opposed to 1 on 1 (in person or via a chat). In a group I can assume that someone will likely relate to what I'm expressing.
I wish there was an social anxiety support group or group therapy in my area.
I felt that way, and still do at times. But once I jump in and just start chatting, my worries go away after a bit.
Hi Thomas , I am new to 7 cups and was at a few discussion groups with you and just wanted to leave a bit of feedback...
I have not found any of your posts to be hurtful or stupid in any way. In fact, your comments have all been caring ,supportive, encouraging and helpful. There were actually posts you left that made my day and changed my thinking for the better. You have a lot to offer this community and your presence here is making a difference in others lives. Thanks Thomas for being you.
@quietThomas Hi Thomas, I have struggled with this too. I usually look for chat rooms with a smaller number of people, because a large group is very overwhelming for me.
@Daydreamer47
I find that to be true as well. A couple of other things I've noticed about the busy rooms that make them overwhelming for me is that the posts scroll by so quickly that it's hard to keep up and there are so many different conversations going on that it's nearly impossible to keep them all straight.
Have a great day! 
hi @quietThomas i think it can be normal to be little nervous or anxious when participating or enging in a new environment. it can be quite nervewrecking at times but the more you do it the easier it becomes
A bit late to the conversation, aren't I.
I read those small sad pieces of stories and feel so helpless. Often I want with a hug or something. Just say, hey, I read that; I'm sending a smile your way; wish I could sing for you to make you feel better; I'd hug you if I could. Something tells me saying anything of the sort would be really inapropriate and not not real help, and I just can't tell if it's reasonable or just the anxiety, and don't know what else to do, so I don't say anything.
@Soleena
Late? No.
Well, you put your finger right on the problem: How to know what to say that's helpful rather than hurtful or just plain meaningless, mulling it over and over in your mind until you're so exhausted that nothing you've written even makes sense anymore, and then just giving up and saying nothing. And afterward feeling guilty that you maybe could have helped but didn't.
That's the sort of rollercoaster I find myself on and it can get so frustrating that I even stop going to the support chat rooms. It just seems like there's no point. Even though I know there is and I really do want to keep going to the chats and really do want to help.
So, welcome to the club. It's never too late to join a discussion because you never know who will someday see what you've written and be helped by it.
@quietThomas yeah btw I've had some experience with supporting a friend who was deeply depressed/suicidal, and I had to learn to think like "this person has had these issues for a long time and most of that is out of my control and not my fault". All I can hope is that maybe I helped provide a small positive seed.
@quietThomas
That's pretty much what I'm thinking, except the going to the chatrooms part, still too scared for that.
I figure it might be a good idea to just observe for a while, see how others respond and how it turns out, maybe learn a style that suits me. Assuming I'll stick around for that long and don't just retreat from all social engagements again.
@Soleena There's nothing wrong with logging into a chat room and just reading the conversations as they scroll by. I still do that a lot. Once in a while, I'll feel that I have something to add and if I'm feeling brave enough, will put in my two-cents. But there's no requirement that you participate. After a while, you might start to feel comfortable enough to start participating in the discussions. The guided support sessions (listed on the Community Calendar) are easier for that I think because the moderator puts up questions for the others to answer. But you don't have to answer every, or any, of them if you don't want to. Nobody gets after you if you don't participate. Another thing I sometimes do that I find really easy and less threatening is to just welcome new people as they enter a room. Just a simple 'Hi, welcome to the room' or a 'Hi, glad you're here' is plenty. People appreciate it and it can get to be fun. The best approach, I think, is to just keep going to the chat rooms and taking things at your own pace. No one is judging you and you can always leave when you need to and no one will judge you for that either. In fact, I don't recall ever seeing an automatic notification that someone has left a room. Anyway, I hope this helps you to feel better about the chats. And, should you see me enter a room you are in, I invite you to say 'Hi' and I'll answer you back. I'll do the same if I see you. Take care.
Hello I seen your information about anxiety and would like to join
@confidentLove31 There are a couple of ways I know of to join in the anxiety support system.
One is the Anxiety Support chat room listed in the Chat/Group Support Chat menu which you can access from the menu bar at the top of any 7 Cups page. The room is open 24/7 so you can always find some discussions going on there. It's okay, too, if you just want to enter the room and hang out for awhile and read what the others are saying. You don't need to say anything yourself unless and until you feel ready. There's no pressure. There are also Guided Support Chats for anxiety that are held in the same room. These are listed in the Community/Calendar menu accessed the same as the chat room. In the guided chats, a moderator asks questions designed to stimulate discussion. Again, you can participate or just watch/read what goes on. There's never any pressure to participate.
The other way I know of to join in the anxiety support system is through the Anxiety Support Subcommunity listed in the Community/Subcommunities menu. This is a form discussion where anyone can post a topic related to anxiety and others can reply. You can read what people have already written there, reply to any posts that you would like to participate in, and/or post a new topic of your own that you would like others to respond to.
The chat room is the livelier of the two, the forum the slower, depending on which type you prefer. I do one or the other depending on my mood at the time.
I hope this answers some of your questions about anxiety support at 7 Cups and look forward to perhaps seeing you in one or both of these places. All the best to you.
@quietThomas
I can totally relate to what you said. My social anxiety makes me think multiple times before and after saying anything in group support chats about what I said and keeps me self-conscious for a long time. I'm getting better though.
