just another loner

@mont22ha I'm sorry you are going through this. My parents shamed me for a while for not having a job. I remember it was a terrible time and I too was socially isolated and completely alone. You do have this community though. We are here. As someone who basically lived your life until 2 years ago I get it.

@Jacksonthejackson

i'm sry you had to go through all that . no one should

seems not fair . for parents to ask someone to find a job when studying for 8 hours a day . idk if they think im enjoying this or something . i keep looking but i found nothing so far still . they're still going

i cant say i'm happy i'm not the only one feeling this way . i wish no one had to live that, and i'm very sry that you did

@mont22ha don't be sorry. Having the experience I did ended up helping me find myself. Yea it sucked. But I while I was lost I found my identity. I am appreciative for that.

@mont22ha we draw strength from supporting eachother and being able to understand the experience each of us went through. In a sense I'm glad I lived through all that it now helps me understand and relate to others experiences.

@Jacksonthejackson

i'm glad you learned from it and moved on

i wish i can can the same .i'm not nearly as close to that . feels like whenever i try to make some progress life will find a way to push me back

like i was okay i keep myself busy all the time it stops me from overthinking and everything was okay but THEN life will be like 'heres corona, heres a break up, loneliness, bad thoughts', enjoy' . life likes to kick you when you're down

@mont22ha I'm so sorry you're going through that, could you send an email to me? I could have 2 things that could potentially help to your situation sacredhealingmx@gmail.com

Don't give up!

@Nebulae331

sure

why not

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist. Instead I am a fellow participant on 7 CUPs trying to help the @ mentioned person below through a difficult situation. -- For immediate assistance with a crisis issue please contact your local authorities or call the Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Greetings @mont22ha

I have read through your post and can see that you definitely have a lot going on right now. I'm sorry that this is such a challenging time for you. Trying to tackle all of these issues at once would likely overwhelm anyone. However, things may be a little more manageable if you try to tackle / address one issue at a time. Which of these issues is causing you the greatest level of stress? Perhaps we can start with that one and I will try to help as much as possible.

However, if you are able you may also benefit from scheduling time with a licensed therapist at your earliest convenience (through 7 Cups or one of your chosing). I look forward to your response. Until then be encouraged, trying times won't last forever. Blessed wishes

@ThisTooShallPass2016 glad that you cared to respond

therapy is not an option for me atm.. even if i want to that is . as for my problems i dont see a way to 'deal with them' .. until i get a job (which will happen after 2 years at least) things will probebly stay the same

when i do get a job i can start making progress by just . forgetting my family ever existed and have my life in control

until then, my family will still give me a hard time , my headaches are not going anywhere i will still be the same loner that i am . everyone will avoid me and the ppl that actually try i will probebly push them away. and i wish i can control it

feels like i got no control over my thoughts or actions when i reach some lvl of stress

as much as i want to be postive about it .. my problems.. they're here to stay, its not going anywhere anytime soon . and i dont expect anyone to be able to help me . again the only reason i came here is to find someone who can understand how i feel and accept me as a friend

Hi @mont22ha

In 2016 I experienced the most difficult time of my life. Like you, I couldn't see my way out and did not believe I could or would survive it. What I learned during that time with the help of others is

1. When I said, I CAN'T, I usually didn't even try to do what ever it was that needed to be done

2. When I said, I CAN, I atleast tried (and most times, I accomplished my goal

3. Fast forward 4 years to today, most of the things that I worried about DID NOT happen and most of the things that I thought I couldn't do, DID HAPPEN. I accomplished the goals by breaking them into bite size pieces and with much prayer, determination, and support from resources such as this.

3. About acceptance, I learned that the most important acceptance is self-acceptance and self-love.

That said, please remember that true friendships take a lifetime to build. Here on 7 CUPS, you may find people who will try to listen and understand what you're going through while also accepting the fact that you're having a difficult time. However many of the volunteers on this platform are signing up to help others through crisis moments so that they are better prepared to develop / build relationships outside of this forum. They also periodically struggle with their own issues. While I hope you find what you're looking for, just wanted to level set expectations so that you're not disappointed in the event you do not.

Again, I sincerely wish you the best for the future and pray that you see Sunny Days in the near future. Blessed wishes.

@ThisTooShallPass2016

i think if you knew the whole thing you would understand why i cannot make any progress with this right now. i cant devide my problems and deal with them one by one either

and i did try over the years . and the harder i want to feel better and be happy, the worst i feel when i realize that its not happening

i know that the stuff i'm worried about are only in my head, that thats how my mind is setting things up for me and that it will not happen . but you should know that its not enough to stop me from being worried about it . i just cant help it

and its not about self acceptence . thats not the case . i acknowledged it, i know what i am and i know what to do and i'm keeping myself together until that happens . ppl cant accept me . when you realize that every single person you meet dumps you after a few weeks even tho you care so much about others and how they feel . that doesnt have anything to do with self acceptence isnt it :/

and you're probebly right, a true friend might take a lifetime to build .. i wouldnt know

so i missed my chance ? cuz at the moment i cant even keep a friend for a couple months .. idk

@mont22ha

You're right because I do not know the full story I do not really understand. I do however understand that this is causing you a great deal of stress and pain and as a result have whispered a prayer for you.

On a seperate note, I'm dealing with a bit of a family emergency so will periodically have delayed replies. Didn't want you to feel as if I'm rejecting you I'm unable to respond immediately.Blessed wishes.

@ThisTooShallPass2016

ppl got things to do . i'm not gonna blame you for that or something

i'm thankful, that you're trying. ty for caring ..but i rly dont see a way out of this atm. i lived with this for 5 yearss but would i stand a couple more .. i'm not rly sure anymore

@mont22ha

You are very welcome. I'll continue to pray for your peace and comfort. Blessed wishes.

@ThisTooShallPass2016

ty for your care . but trust me when i say this ... i'm a lost cause :)

rly . dont bother

@mont22ha

Hello there . I relate so much with what you are going through . I too have been dealing with depression for almost 5 years now. I am on meds and therapy also . At times it feels like every day is a struggle and constant battle . But , I am clinging on and trying my level best . I genuinely wish things get better for u . Take care man . :)

@calmsoulmeet

ty so much . i honestly didnt think anyone would care to reply

yea its not easy to deal with but i'm glad you're making progresss . i wish things go better for all of us

@mont22ha

Thank you for posting this, I feel as though I'm going through a similar situation ( I might be wrong idk ). There will be times where I am super happy and outgoing with tons of friends and then all of a sudden I feel bad, I don't want to go to work I don't want to do anything I have zero motivation. This then leads me to loose friends, I cannot maintain friendships for long periods of times even though I could easily make friends. I used to have tons of energy and be happy and for some reason it is gone and I don't know how to get it back. Sorry for going on about myself and hearing this is probably no help. But your not alone in this. Praying for you !

@jessicawhite022

no trust me, i do get that

at least you got a chance to let a few things off your chest .. yea, we're not alone and yea thats basicly how i feel every single day now . didnt feel motivated to do anything for a while, months mby

i did read about biploar disorder.. that explains a lot of things . the mania and hypomania phases, the depression that caome afterward . makes sense, you can check it if you want

i did push everyone away s well, idk i feel much more comfy alone, i need my me time .. but i also do feel lonely, like painfully lonely .. i dont want to end up like how my parents said my life will be . to live and die without anyone knowing the diffrence ...

i dont know what to say i rly want to make you feel better, i do wish none of us had to go through this but nothing we can do about it . only to learn from it, and try your best to move on.. still working on that tho.