Regulate my emotions

Hello. I am sorry you have been having difficulty with this. Let’s look together at ways to regulate when you are angry.

Hi

Sorry to hear about this. Maybe if I quickly explain what is going on in your brain it might help.

Strong emotions make us “stupid”. What that means is that when we are angry, for example, the higher advanced part of our brains physically shuts down and the primitive part of our brain stem, is switched on.

So way back when early man was at risk of being eaten by a lion, our primitive brain would have us reacting without even thinking. So if a lion walked into your room, you’d react without even thinking about it. You’d be out the window without thinking.

When you get angry, your thinking brain is temporarily switched off and you are being controlled by your primitive brain. Have you noticed when you are having an argument that you can never see the other person’s point of view? It’s all about me and how wronged I am.

So what do you do when you get angry?

It takes about 20 minutes for your thinking brain to switch back on. So remove yourself from the source of your anger. If it’s a person, say that you’ll have to talk about this later. Then to help your thinking brain turn back on, try a thinking game. Like spell your name backwards or go through the alphabets listing food or films or do a maths problem.

Usually when you go back to the issue and are not emotional about it, it doesn’t seem to be a big deal anymore.

I hope that may be of some help.

The best thing to do when you get angry is to take a deep breath and go to a different room,if you're fighting with someone...calm yourself and think about what you want to say to that person....

@lausau123 my best suggestion would be create a playlist. You can listen to when you are angry music tends to help me the most.

@lausau123

Emotions are so complicated at times! What best works for my is to acknowledge them and to be compassionate. There is a saying about this. "Treat it like a crying baby. You cradle it with patience as much time as they need"

@lausau123 Hello. I can relate to your post. Sometimes the stress is too much and my anger is revealing not in a good way. My coping mechanism are just to breathe deep and take my time to observe the situation. Is it that bad, can I calm down, can I react different way, what is disturbing me. Sometimes of course it's very hard to rationalize the situation and my emotions, but I am trying. Keep your head up and breathe. 

@lausau123 It's hard to see things as they are when we are overwhelmed by emotions.

I learnt sometime back that anxiety and relaxation cannot stay in us together at the same time. So I first try deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation to calm myself. Once I am relaxed, I think about situation, mood & thoughts that lead to me those emotions. Once I check how they are connected. this gives me much needed clarity to validate it & find suitable next steps. That usually brings me in control of my emotions. Hope this helps you. There are question templates and plan given in 7 cups anxiety guide that you can use for reference 

@lausau123

hey, first of all, I want to tell you, it's really brave of you to seek for help and to try healthy coping methods. It's a great first steps. I have some tips that worked for me. I hope this can be helpful. 

1. Take Timeouts. When you feel that anger coming, give yourself short break. Get out of the room if you can, have some quiet time. It'll help you prepare to handle the stress and relax a bit. 

2. look for solutions. So this is us trying to be real and think about what we can and cannot change. If loud noise is the trigger, than try your headphone on. I know it's temporary, but for me it was a good way to stop me from acting without thinking. 

@lausau123

@lausau123
I think it's pretty common among us these days but getting angry would sometimes ruin the relations, I think one of my colleagues wrote some good points so you can check that out.
https://www.7cups.com/forum/anxiety/General_2428/HowtoCalmanAnxietyAttackPracticalTipsandTechniques_311585/