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IagoParis
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L Apprentice 2
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I am a recent psychology graduate interested in helping others through listening
Number of ratings3 Number of reviews2 Listens toOver 18 LanguagesEnglish, Spanish Listener sinceJan 30, 2024 Last activeover 6 months ago GenderMale PathStep 108 People helped23 Chats121 Forum posts34 Forum upvotes48
Bio

It makes me feels accomplished to help people to achieve the ability to help themselves.

Currently, I am exploring compassion meditations.














Recent forum posts
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Non Violent Communication (NVC) for IDG 4th dimension: social skills
IDG 7 Cups Community Hub / by IagoParis
Last post
 November 29th
...See more Related to the sub-dimension of Social Skills: communication skills and following the ideas of the "I statements" in the IDG growth path, I have found the Non Violent Communication (NVC) framework, which I think is very promising. NVC was developed by Marshall Rosenberg, an American psychologist, in the 1960s. It proposes 4 steps to express a petition: * Talk objectively about what happened "When you went with our friends without telling me" instead of "When you betrayed me". * Talk about what you felt: "I felt sad". There are some feeling words like betrayed, rejected or abandoned that NVC tags as false feelings. NVC says that because these words put the responsibility of the emotion outside oneself, and they should be avoided, "sad", "angry", "lonely" or "pained" are good substitutes. * NVC states that behind an emotion, there is a need. Talk about that underlying need. "I feel like that because I need connection/company/transparency". * Finally, make a petition. This should not be a threat nor a demand, but a request. The difference is that when you make a request, you accept the possibility of denial. "I ask you to tell me when you plan to hang out with our friends". Let's join all parts of the example. "Hello John. I want to tell you something. When you went with our friends without telling me, I feel sad and pained. I wish for connection with you all, and I want to ask you to tell me when you plan to hang out with our friends, would you do that for me?" So this is an example of a NVC petition. Since I don't have a lot of experience with NVC, please, don't take it literally. It can probably be improved. Did you know NVC? What do you think about it? I think it is very promising to focus conflict resolution to feelings and needs, do you agree?
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How much authenticity?
IDG 7 Cups Community Hub / by IagoParis
Last post
 August 19th
...See more There is this classical question in psychotherapy and other helping contexts. How much authenticity should I solve the helper? I'm a psychologist and my mindset is highly influenced by Carl Rogers. Carl Rogers said that there are three necessary and sufficient conditions for therapeutic change: * Empathy: understanding another from their own shoes. * Positive unconditional acceptation: accepting + valuing the other as someone who has something unique and positive to contribute to the world. * Authenticity: being true to yourself and the others, in what you do, feel and think. With these three things in the therapist, change will naturally emerge from the drive of the person to be a better version of themselves. This framework confronts us with the following question: If I don't like the person I'm helping, should I tell that to them? What should I do if not? For example, you are tasked to help a violent adult, but you despise violence. Or a trickier situation, you have been months helping this person, you have a good relationship with them, and then they reveal something that you don't like at all. For example, they reveal how they treat their partners, they are deceitful and manipulative. Do you tell that to them? How much you say and how? My take on those problems is that authenticity is necessary. If I escape from being authentic, it's going to come back to me later, for example, by being conveyed through non-verbal language. I would first be cautious and explore the topic further. Maybe if I find the whole picture I can empathize with this specific person and circumstances, in any case, I would add eventually: "There is something important I think I should share with you. Not doing it makes me feel like I'm betraying you. Would you listen to me?" and if the answer is positive I would say something on the lines of "I have had bad experiences with [topic] so your words awaken in me unpleasant feelings and I think it's unwise and useless to hide them from you" and then the conversation will go on depending on the personality and reaction of the helped to those words. But I'm more interested in your opinions: what do you think? What would you do?
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