Life is mundane
I thought life would be amazing once I recover from anxiety - once I stop my medication.
But it just keeps getting mundane and boring day in day out. I feel like every day I am living without any purpose. I was even suicidal - I feel at times that I should have taken some steps while I could - now I am fine. Now I can’t harm myself.
I have the zeal to live at times but I feel that I am faking later. People around me - well my parents and some close relatives still are cautious around me - those who don’t know treat me normal - my husband is one person who keeps triggering my anxiety unknowingly I suppose.
But I blame myself. I just blame my cold, I blame my stress at work, I blame fatigue due to higher weight, I blame not sleeping enough, not drinking water enough. But strangely, people think I am blaming them. I am playing the victim card.
But I have just become so fierce that I don’t care anymore what others think.
Life is boring - very boring - I have given up all my hopes and dreams and I am just living to earn money and live comfortably until the day I die.
I guess life after anxiety is boring.