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diligentFarm4007
1 10,676 M Pacing Forward 4
PathStep 117 Compassion hearts547 Forum posts18 Forum upvotes24 Current upvotes24 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2025 Member sinceApril 22, 2017
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Life is mundane
Anxiety Support / by diligentFarm4007
Last post
 May 8th, 2024
...See more I thought life would be amazing once I recover from anxiety - once I stop my medication.  But it just keeps getting mundane and boring day in day out. I feel like every day I am living without any purpose. I was even suicidal - I feel at times that I should have taken some steps while I could - now I am fine. Now I can’t harm myself.  I have the zeal to live at times but I feel that I am faking later. People around me - well my parents and some close relatives still are cautious around me - those who don’t know treat me normal - my husband is one person who keeps triggering my anxiety unknowingly I suppose.  But I blame myself. I just blame my cold, I blame my stress at work, I blame fatigue due to higher weight, I blame not sleeping enough, not drinking water enough. But strangely, people think I am blaming them. I am playing the victim card.  But I have just become so fierce that I don’t care anymore what others think.  Life is boring - very boring - I have given up all my hopes and dreams and I am just living to earn money and live comfortably until the day I die.  I guess life after anxiety is boring. 
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Member Oath
Newbie Hub / by diligentFarm4007
Last post
 August 11th, 2021
...See more Someone please share the link to 7Cups Member Oath. Thanks in advance
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Feeling better yet not quite
Anxiety Support / by diligentFarm4007
Last post
 February 20th, 2022
...See more Have you ever felt a feeling that a knot is tied around your brain - inside and outside and they are pulling at each other. I have that feeling every single time I run away from acknowledging that I miss him. I went on a walk listening to Tracy Chapman's songs and I had this lump in my throat but there was a rush and I acknowledged that your life had a purpose and well you thought you have achieved it and this was the right time to end it. I always loved you and will always love you for who you ARE - be it in your corporeal form or just your soul. I love you and thinking you're not by my side - I can't breathe. Basically my grief leads to anxiety these days. I get panic attacks about almost everything as you - my lifeline is now gone from the earth. whenever I was scared, I leAned on you. thinking I can't do that yet or be part of your happiness makes me really sad and anxious. in the darkest of times, I find myself heaving and hands shaking trying to hold you for one last time. yes - I just want you to tell me - Let me hold you! Ending with happy beams and hugs. hang in there all 🥰
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