Hi, please dont judge
Today was a crappy day for me. I keep missing my ex best friend. (i was in a dark place and said i didnt need him and that pushed him away.) i feel like crap all the time like its my fault he left me. i loved him alot. i get sad and mad at myself every time i think of him and it makes me wanna cry and scream. i start to get axiety thinking about him, because he had so many issues. (he wouldent eat for multiple days, SH, talking about ending his life.) i still miss him so much and i just want him back. ( i had feelings for him, but he started dating one of my other best friends, even tho she knew it hurt me. all i could really say was: "its fine, i dont care.) I have a boyfriend now, and im very happy with him, But i still want him back (as my best friend.) I still worry about him, even though he wont talk to me. we used to hug each other every day, but then i moved away and we drifted apart. i still feel so sad. i feel worthless about the whole thing. i feel like im stupid for missing him.
just a rant, lots of love,
Austin