Feeling so alone with anxiety my only companion
*mild TW*.
I never suffered from anxiety before. I am 51, married, 3 kids and life, although not perfect has been ok. I mean besides my youngest son being groomed and our house fire,,,it's been kinda ok. But now,,,because I'd covid, I have lost all of my friends. They became toxic and I said enough. I found an online community that became toxic and left there. And today left a small group of online friends because I hurt one of their feelings and I panicked and ran.
i am so tired of being anxious all of the time, I have started suffering from panic attacks, sometimes several a day. I don't work, my kids are mostly grown. I have lost everyone and feel like alt least with anxiety/panic I have something to cut through the numbness. It lets me feel something. But I am so tired of feeling this way,,,,I just don't know what to do.
because of my online friends, the ones I ran from, I had my first ever therapist apt last week. I have another one scheduled next week but am wondering why even bother,,,what is the point. Everyone leaves me or hurts me.
Sorry to hear of the toxic groups you experienced and the panic attacks. I am glad you are able to see someone to talk to. I've seen someone go through a rough patch when their kids grew up and left the nest. They were feeling sad and a bit without purpose. Years later now they are doing great, they made new friends, got a new job that they enjoy, they travel around the country and just have fun. I guess sometimes we don't know what's instore for us. Hope things kinda level out for you and the world gets back to I little more nornal. Wishing you good times ahead.
I don't really have any advice but you're not alone. I'm 37 and have 2 kids, under 6. I also have anxiety and worry a lot. Lately I've been so stressed, I can't sleep well and my jaw aches. I'm so sick of it. I hate people telling me to relax. It's not that simple! So you're not alone, there are lots of us that struggle with these issues. I hate feeling isolated too and we blame ourselves too
@pvroom
It's never as simple as "just relax." Why do people say that? Don't you think if I could relax I would? I mean, who wants to feel this way? No one.
My anxiety has been intensifying lately. It was bad but I had some amount of control, but these past two months - no. Things have gotten bad. Panic attacks, all day anxiety. It all sucks.
What do we all do about it? Who knows anymore. I meditate, pray, use melatonin, cbd oil, white noise, music, etc. - everything. My husband is just now understand the anxiety issues I have and we now have a secret word between us that I can say when we're in the company of others that lets him know that I'm having a panic attack without letting anyone else know. It helps to have that little bit of strength there - someone to catch me when I fall, so to speak.
Still, it doesn't take all of the thoughts and noise and struggle my brain goes through with anxiety.
@thoughtfulmomma that's such a good idea to have a special word. I know what you mean, my anxiety has been so much worse lately too. It's a spiralling thing too, once it gets going its so much harder to bring it back. you're not alone, you're doing everything you can, we both are. We are working hard, trying our best!
@pvroom
UGH. The spiraling thing. Seriously, I am TIRED of my brain continually taking me down that awful road of panic and freak outs. Like right now. I had a pretty decent day. I was distracted because I wasn't in my normal routine, and I was out with others. So it was okay. But as the day wore on and I started to lose focus on "being in the moment" my mind started drifting and my triggers started creeping in. Then it just takes me into the mindset of everything that could be wrong, bad things that could happen, feeling alone, and feeling hopeless.
So, I came here. To find a bit of calm. And put off stress until tomorrow. :)
Hey there! You’re not alone and I am proud of you for reaching out for help! If you ever want to talk please don’t hesitate to message me! I would love to support you if I can!
@calmWishes2119
thank you. That is very nice of you to offer
T.W. Hi, your not alone. My anxiety has ruled my life for 50 years. I was severely abused in childhood, assaulted as an adult, bullied at my job. I have CPTSD anxiety and depression. My anxiety has started to cause severe physical ailments. I just can't shut off my fight or flight response ever. It's always there . I'm in therapy, I journal alot, I avoid any kind of stress, I medicate, and spent time creating art. I'm in my 50s and my kids are grown. I have quit my job and lost all my connections there. I seriously have never felt so alone in my life. I am not giving up but I have many emotional rollercoaster days and cannot function. This is rough. ABB
@amiableBlackberry92
its so hard to not give up. I have spent all day sitting in my room...going between dangerous sad and dangerous angry and now just plain old sad.
Sharon, I charted a pattern of my bad days in the beginning of my CPTSD diagnosis I was having bad days 7 days a week and nightmares. Now I'm between 3-4bad days a week. I just try to hang on until I'm back to the good part of the week. I never know when I'll wake up in that really bad state of depression. I do journal alot that seems to help to get out how I'm feeling. It's going on 3 years now I just keep hanging on. 7cups is a great immediate tool for finding help. It's helped me some. Hold on your not alone. ABB
You are not alone ❤️
@brightSummer8622
Thank you. Trying to recognize I'm not alone, it's just so hard to do sometimes