A consecutive thought of pandaemic

Hello All,

I dont know if writing the same thing over and over again makes any changes. It is not changing my eituation to the least. I am kind of fed up from my own mental health. Its this excessive and constant anxiety which has been a part of me now is making me exhausted. I tried to make it a part of my existence that this would happen and also will go away eventually but its not. As the days are passing, it is just increasing. The constant fear of not being well and may have been infected with the virus or this fear that may be I am causing some harm to the people surrounded by me by my mere existence is just killing me from inside. I dont know anymore if I am in my right mind or not. It feels like I am in a pattern now and not even myself. Which is terrifying and confusing. I want to seek help but somehow I cant . I am feeling a loottt of guilty for just my own situation. What should I do? Am I really messing everything up around me??