Weekly Prompt #15: What is your biggest fear?
Hello everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
Last week we discussed: How do you ensure a good night's sleep despite the anxiety? Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed them. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: What is your biggest fear? Describe it in as much detail as possible. What triggers this fear? How does it make you feel?
This week I want us to reflect and explore this topic that can help us understand and deal with our biggest fears. Let's get started and all thoughts are welcomed!
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My biggest fear is being alone. And that doesn’t mean not having anyone around me physically, but more of not having anyone who believes in me, or supporting me. One example is that I get triggered when my parents give me criticism because I can’t help but think “What if they don’t believe in me?” And it really scares me, because I don’t want to be alone, especially when I’m going to be an adult in two years. It triggers when I get into arguments with my sister, or make mistakes near people I care about. It’s hard to live with sometimes. That’s my biggest fear.
@oliveTree4069 Thank you for sharing about this fear of being alone and not feeling believed in or supported. It's understandable that criticism from loved ones could trigger those fears, and that arguments with family make the fear feel more real. You mentioned it's hard at times - is there anything else you'd like to share about what that's like or how you cope?
We are all here with you to listen to and to support, olive.
I don’t really have ways to cope with it, I just try to get through it the best I can. Thank you so much😊💗
@ASilentObserver
The big fear that comes to my mind is that I will become disabled in some way and have to be dependent on other people to care for me. I really enjoy taking care of myself, and my cats, and to be financially independent. Also, really opening up emotionally to another person has usually been difficult for me in the past. In my past friendships, I took on the role of being mostly the giver, but I want more of give-and-take friendships now.
@pineapplepeanut Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It sounds like independence is very important to you, and the fear of losing that control is understandable. How does opening up about this impact your mood currently? Please do share what you can with comfort. We are all here for you to listen to and to support.
@ASilentObserver I am feeling okay. I hope everyone else is feeling okay or even better. To those who aren't, I hope your day gets better. I hope that you get to enjoy your day again. Maybe go out for a walk or listen to music for pleasure. Be sure to enjoy the simple things in life.
Hi everyone 😊
My biggest fear used to be a stomach issue I have that puts me in severe pain over silly things. My doctors care a lot. They care so much I’ve been waiting nearly 10 years to find out what exactly it is but sure just slap some medication over it and forget about it. That’s another story altogether 🧐
Now over the past year it’s changed. My biggest fear is when we die there is nothing, just a empty black void, Not able to think, Feel anything and worst of all never see our loved ones ever again. It makes me scared and feel alone. I’ve searched every possible idea. Do I believe them? Idk people are very capable of lying about anything for a temporary celebrity status or a payday. I already feel alone without the people who have passed away never mind a void blackness and never getting to see them again. Apart from my partner, children and dog the people alive around me don’t care if I’m alive or dead. Everything is horrible without the people who have passed away. So for me there’s nothing and nobody after death and a solid darkness.
@shyIdea3230
i am here for you and honestly there is evidence that there is more to when people pass but i understand your fear though. if you want to talk more about it you can message me.
@shyIdea3230 Thank you for sharing your deepest fears with us, Shyidea <3. The uncertainty around death can indeed feel lonely and scary. How are you currently coping with these thoughts and feelings? You mentioned focusing on your loved ones who are still here - your partner, children, and dog. Maintaining connections to people who care about you can help alleviate feelings of loneliness. Please know we are all here with you to listen to and to support. you are not alone in this.
I am terrified of myself or a family member drowning. Two years ago I took my son fishing neither of us know how to swim my son was 17 and fell in the river I instantly froze then I called 911 my son was bobbing up and down water bubbling out of his mouth finally watching him over my shoulder I ran to try and find help there was an old man and Praise God he helped me get my son out alive
@Marisol8023 I am sorry to hear that Mari. Thank you for sharing this traumatic experience. I can understand why the memory of that day still brings you fear and worry. You showed great presence of mind in calling for help right away. While the what-ifs can be hard to shake, an old man was there to assist when you and your son needed support most. You both were fortunate others could step in during such a frightening moment. How are you feeling now as you reflect on that close call with your son?
It has brought us both closer to God for this I am thankful and my son and the old man developed a friendship they both need each other and see each other everyday
@ASilentObserver I don't really have a lot of fears right now, perhaps if there is one I'm scared nothing will turn out the way I want them to
@minstaccato Thank you for sharing Minstaccato <3 It's understandable to feel concerned that things may not work out as planned. You're not alone in experiencing uncertainty - it's really brave of you to open up about what's on your mind. What worries you the most about things potentially not turning out as you hope?
My biggest fear currently is believing I am not doing enough to be there for those I care about and that they will no longer love me when I tell them no. (I’m learning to enforce boundaries)
@CherryBerryPie I hear you. It's understandable to feel concerned about how setting boundaries may impact important relationships. You seem dedicated to caring for others while also caring for yourself. What thoughts or feelings arise as you consider telling others "no" while still wanting to be there for them?
@ASilentObserver I have this dread and anxiety when I have to tell someone no about a request they have. Then after I tell them no or that I can't make it to an event that they're hosting to show support, I auto overthink and think they're going to hate me, think I'm unsupportive or that I don't care about them. It's a terrible/annoying cycle that I have been working on breaking.
@CherryBerryPie It sounds like saying no and feeling worried about others' perceptions of you has been an ongoing struggle. You mentioned you've been working on breaking this cycle - is there anything in particular that helps you when these thoughts and feelings start to arise? Just knowing you're not alone and many people can relate might bring some comfort. Please know we are all here with you to listen to and to support you. you are not alone in this <3
@ASilentObserver When I have those thoughts, I'm currently at the point of being able to recognize that I'm overthinking and that the way I'm feeling about saying no/declining something, is not something I should be feeling. I allow myself to take a moment and remind myself that it is okay to say no or decline.
Thank you, it gives me comfort that I'm not alone in this. (: <3
@CherryBerryPie that make sense pie. It sounds like you've been experiencing some difficult thoughts around saying no and declining things. You've recognized those thoughts may be overthinking, and have found a way to remind yourself that it's okay to set boundaries. You show strength in being able to notice unhelpful patterns and replace them with kinder self-talk. Your every step counting!
My biggest fear is myself. I hurt people really bad. I have lost people there Job. I come so far but I still go boom. I fear hurting people especially in the states I get into and can't remember. I fear it so much if I'm going to hurt someone it will be me. I can't hurt people but I always do. When I'm not in control I'm a monster. I'm so very scared of myself.
@AutiBoy Thank you for sharing your fears with us, Auti. It sounds like not feeling in control of yourself during certain states causes you a great deal of distress. I can understand why losing control would be scary. You recognize that hurting people is something you wish to avoid. How does it make you feel to worry so much about potentially hurting others?
Short answer
Panicked, paranoid, overloaded, overwhelmed, worthless, like a monster, obsessive and some pride at how far I come.
Long awner
I avoid people a lot. I get panicked when I'm around people. I started to feel paranoid and overloaded. I feel as tho I'm a monster for just being around people sometimes. I now rarely hurt people but still, my fear is strong. I worked hard so I also feel proud when I think about it. I mark the days off and hope and confidence grows. I know that the feeling of fear I get around other people and the paranoia can actually make me hurt people because I don't want to hurt them.
@ASilentObserver
id definitely have to say it’s the fear of not being missed greatly by those I love when I die. This is something new for me, but over the past couple of years, and increasingly greater each day, I get this feeling of panic and anxiety each evening as another day is ending, that I have yet another day less to heal or get close as I want to to some people in my life. I think “another day that is gone and that I will never have again to have the kind of relationship I’d like to with these people”. I can tell you that I get such a feeling of anxiousness and panic in me that it paralyzes me and I want to scream too! I’m so scared that I won’t be missed or that I don’t matter as much as I want to matter to the people I love. This is probably confusing for anybody reading it. I think this fear is somehow connected to the fear of abandonment I have.
@proactiveSea7692 I understand this is a difficult feeling to go through each day. Having close relationships and feeling cared for are important parts of life. You don't deserve to be paralyzed by anxiety.Can you tell me more about what's contributed to this fear developing over time? Please know you have all of us here with you to support.