Weekly Prompt #41: Are there any underlying beliefs or fears that fuel your anxiety?
Hello all and welcome back to another discussion,
A couple of weeks ago, we discussed what kind of behaviors anxiety has caused you to engage in. Thank you to all who participated and shared your thoughts with us. I appreciate you all. I hope all who may read it find it relatable, too. If anyone hasn't shared them yet, please share them here, and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: Are there any underlying beliefs or fears that fuel your anxiety?
There are often underlying beliefs and fears that fuel anxiety and these can be categorized into a few key areas like core beliefs, fears, negative thinking patterns, etc. Let's start to discuss and share these behaviors and I look forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences.
Did you join us in the Anxiety Support Chat? It is available every Wednesday for the entire day.
@ASilentObserver I think most of the anxiety I feel is from the fear of the past repeating itself and it gets stronger each time the past does repeat. This could be about loss, betrayal or just the feeling of not being safe. The fear of something bad happening is always at the front leading all the other negative beliefs. Running away works but then it also creates a fear for if there's ever a situation where it's not an option. It all being a self fulfilling prophesy is also another fear that goes round and round fueling the anxiety.
@BlueDarkAurora
Yes, anxiety reaks habic in my life as well Hypervilengent, paranoid, high levels of fear. I am never able to drop my guard down for fear that if I do something bad will creep upon me. Mistrust of others and never allowing anyone to get too close to me, including my own family. Feels like being trapped in a maze or often as if I am sinking in quicksand.
@WorkingitThrough2 It is exhausting<3 I hope the stress of it all keeps reducing everyday for you. Hopefully someday we'll get to put our armour down and just enjoy life.
@BlueDarkAurora I hear you and can get that you have a deep-seated fear of the past repeating itself, which leads to feelings of anxiety. And this is fueled by past experiences of loss, betrayal, and a lack of safety. If I can ask, how do you think you can address these underlying beliefs and fears?
@ASilentObserver We learn and grow ^^ I'm learning to trust myself more, challenge the beliefs that are just based on memories. It helps to know that the present is the only moment that exists, the one that matters the most<3 Thanks for taking the time to respond ^-^
@BlueDarkAurora Are you currently receiving any kind of support, right now? Just wondering. Because it sounds to me, like you should be. If you're not receiving any support right now, I would strongly encourage you to look into this. Here at 7cups, our support system comes in many different forms. For example, you can get support from fellow members, in our Adult Support Rooms, here at 7cups. We also have trained active listeners, the forums can be a good place to get support, and we also offer therapy. The therapy that we offer is done by trained Therapists, which have many years of experience.
So I hope you take advantage of some of our support offerings, while at 7cups.
@calmMango9611 aw <3 I do have a good support system and it's so nice of you to take the time out to suggest the awesome ways of receiving support here. Thank you ^-^
@BlueDarkAurora
Dear Aurora,
reading your words I can feel the pain and suffering the past caused on you. I am sorry you had to go through a difficult situation even when no one can escape those.
I don't possibly know if you need words of support at this point but I am feeling something that I would like to share with you.
Feeling paralyzed as I have felt due to fear and anxiety is painful and scary.However I found some solace in my own sorrow when I was able to stop fighting that frozen state. When I stopped fighting I was able to just feel and started moving with the fear and anxiety. For me it was like getting untied from those chains.
I send you light
(Before I wrote from my member's account hehe)
@IsaGuzNa90 hey there <3 Thank you so much for your kind words, I appreciate them a lot<3
I'm so sorry that fear and anxiety have caused you so much pain but you finding a way to handle it shows how strong you are! And what you said is so true, sometimes fighting makes it worse and we end up exhausted all the time. I'm glad you feel untied from those chains, they can be heavy<3
I absolutely admire that you are reaching out to people and trying to help. Thank you<3
@BlueDarkAurora You are very welcomed.
@BlueDarkAurora
Dear Aurora,
reading your words I can feel the pain and suffering the past caused on you. I am sorry you had to go through a difficult situation even when no one can escape those.
I don't possibly know if you need words of support at this point but I am feeling something that I would like to share with you.
Feeling paralyzed as I have felt due to fear and anxiety is painful and scary.However I found some solace in my own sorrow when I was able to stop fighting that frozen state. When I stopped fighting I was able to just feel and started moving with the fear and anxiety. For me it was like getting untied from those chains.
I send you light
@isaguzn
@ASilentObserver
I primarily struggle with social anxiety which stems from my low self-esteem. I have a lot of negative thoughts about myself: "I'm stupid, I'm awkward, I never know what to say, I do so many things wrong" etc. etc. etc. Sometimes I get so stuck in these thoughts that it's hard to focus on what other people are saying around me. I get panicked and sad, my face turns red and my heart races.
It's slowly getting better by doing different things: meditation (almost) every day, praying, giving myself a lot of positive affirmations for every little thing I do (even emptying the litter box haha), exercise, good sleep and noticing if I get stuck in my thoughts and then focus on the conversation or my breathing.
Patience is really important. I've had really bad thoughts about myself ever since I was a young teenager so it makes sense I can't undo years of harm in just a couple of months. But I'm just grateful things are getting better, even if slowly 🙏.
I hope things will get better for everyone else here too 💖!
@CozyChelly Thank you for opening up and sharing it with us. I am glad you are making some real progress with your anxiety through mindfulness and self-care practices. How do you feel when you notice yourself getting caught up in negative thought patterns?
@ASilentObserver
I don't feel too bad when I catch myself thinking these things anymore, actually. I quickly correct the thoughts and reassure myself! I'm just working on noticing them more often, because I still have moments where I have these thoughts on auto-pilot and don't even realize and I don't want to reinforce these thoughts. With practice and perseverance it'll only get better and better.
Thank you for the great question and thoughtful words!
@CozyChelly It is good to hear that I am glad you are putting so much effort into recognizing and correcting these negative thought patterns. It is good how you have made progress in catching yourself and reframing your thoughts. Please continue to take small steps that lead to significant changes over time.
@CozyChelly I just wanted to let you know, that your not stupid. So, please do not think that you are. Ok, my friend?
@calmMango9611
Thank you so much, you're so kind 🌷
@CozyChelly Your very welcomed.
@ASilentObserver
Are there any underlying beliefs or fears that fuel your anxiety?
I am not good enough. No one understands me. Why is it always me? What are others going to think of me?
Positive thinking pattern:
I am good enough.
I may be good in areas where other people are not good at.
We all have to go through difficult situations. And it is not just me who is going through a tough time.
What others think of me is not what defines me. I am grateful for who I am. I cannot be like the others. And I am happy with that.
It is not like no one understands me. They do understand me. The thing I should remember when thoughts like these arise is the fact that I am not alone. There are other people who may be going through a worse and more difficulyt situation than I am. I am grateful for the events that have occurred in my life. I am grateful that I am learning everyday.
@Admirablerainbow2825 Those are some powerful affirmations to practice. How can you remind yourself of them when you're feeling most anxious?
@Admirablerainbow2825 Your good enough, to me. You truly are. People in general can be not so nice, sometimes. They say things that hurt our feelings. The best thing we can do, is when someone is like that, is pay them no mind. You're a special human being, my friend. I have faith in you. You are going to do some amazing things, just wait and see. Keep your head up, my friend.
@ASilentObserver
I sometimes struggle with the idea of being lonely. It seems that no matter what I do, I end up lonely. With success People come to celebrate, and with failure they leave. In this way I am scared of failure, losing games or behaving bad in work. I always feel insecure inside, and it turns out anxiety sometimes attacks me when I start a new project.
@Rescie hey
It’s completely natural to feel that way. Loneliness and the fear of failure can be closely linked, especially when we tie our value to how others perceive our accomplishments. It seems like you place a lot of pressure on yourself with high expectations, which can be both encouraging and draining. Just remember, you don’t have to go through things on your own—there are people who care about you, and support is always there when you need it.
@Rescie I hear and understand you are experiencing some difficult feelings related to loneliness and insecurity. Feeling alone even when surrounded by people is tough. What matters most to you in these moments?
@Rescie
I hear you. It is hard to deal with loneliness and fear of losing. I can understand how hard it gets .
@ASilentObserver I feel like anxiety is something which we process that thing i mean if we have empty mind then anxiety forms and all tha things and processes becomes anxiety.
@Orthodox444 I understand how it feels overwhelming. It can be really tough to manage those feelings. You did well recognizing a connection between a busy mind and anxious thoughts.
@ASilentObserverAnxiety can often be fueled by underlying beliefs or fears, such as:
- Fear of failure or disappointment – Believing that being imperfect or late will lead to letting others down.
- Need for control – Anxiety can arise from a desire to control situations, and feeling anxious when things are out of control.
- Perfectionism – A constant drive for perfection, where even small mistakes like being late feel overwhelming.
- Fear of judgment or rejection – Worrying about being perceived negatively by others.
- Fear of letting others down – Feeling responsible for others and fearing they’ll be disappointed.
- Low self-worth – Believing that we need to meet high standards to be accepted.
- Uncertainty about the future – Anxiety grows from fear of the unknown and the inability to predict outcomes.
Identifying these underlying beliefs can help us challenge them and manage anxiety more effectively. Does any of this resonate with you?
@smilepls55 I appreciate you, smile. You did some insightful reflection on the root causes of your anxiety. It is understandable how these could contribute to feelings of anxiety.
@ASilentObserver
When it comes to my social anxiety, there's a weird thing where I'm not technically afraid of anything, I just feel the anxiety. I guess I'm scared of embarrassing myself, but when I have stuttered or done something I find embarrassing, it's not a big deal to me. It seems to be nothing but the anticipation of talking to someone but with no specific fear of any consequence. I didn't realise that until my therapist asked me the question and my mind was completely blank.
With general anxiety, I'd say a belief or fear that I'll fail, e.g. say the wrong thing, make someone feel bad, etc, or that I'll be judged.
@JasonC92 That is an insightful observation about your social anxiety. It seems like the uncertainty and potential for awkwardness are what's causing the discomfort.
@ASilentObserver oof this is a rough one. TW: emotional abuse/family abuse. i've been hearing since as long as i can remember that my mom knew since the moment she first saw me after i was born that i was going to be trouble. she raised me to believe that i was born with a disease that made it so i couldn't trust my own mind, memory, instincts, or natural reactions to situations. She also raised me to believe i had to keep it hidden or i would make everyone around me miserable and they would see me for the monster i am. TL:DR yeah you could say i have some underlying beliefs that cause my anxieties. (in the past year i've learned that what my mom said wasn't true, and believed it, but on bad days, i have to be careful not to downspiral to a place where i believe her again)
@SummerOfCA That is painful. I do appreciate your courage to share such a vulnerable experience with us. If I can ask, what helps you to ground yourself and remind yourself of your true worth?
@ASilentObserver that depends... if it's cause i'm in a really really bad place... my version of "crisis mode", aka my trauma brain is completely in control and logic is not going to reach me (but not in any way in any physical danger) then i am so entrenched in this way of thinking and any and all efforts to reach me by my wife and best friend are just making my flawed trauma reasoning more stubborn. then it is literally just a matter of time and sleep till i get out of that really bad headspace, and with both i kinda "wake up" and realize that i had been in "crisis mode" and really "feel" like what my mom said is not true again
when it's just a calm thought.... like something bad happens, like a disagreement with a friend or something, and my gut instinct is for me to think "see this is what your mom was talking about" (even tho i'm not in "crisis mode") then i'm able to remind myself that's a "red flag thought", that it's a trauma based thought, and if that doesn't swat it away, then i go through and remind myself of ways i'm a good person, and things i've done and ways i've proven my mom wrong, or in the worst case, i'll tell my wife and/or best friend that i'm havin a hard time shakin the thought and they lend me a helping hand with reassurance and anything needed to shake the hold the thought has on me
@ASilentObserver Any time that I think about being kidnapped (it's been a big fear of mine since I was little) I immediately feel my anxiety getting higher than it was previous.
@allieg0620 I am sorry to hear that Allie. I understand that thinking about it would bring up those feelings. Please know you are not alone in this, we are all here with you to listen to and support you. If I can ask, is there a specific event or experience that might have contributed to this fear developing?