Weekly Prompt #36: How has anxiety affected your overall sense of self-worth or confidence?
Hello all and welcome back to another discussion,
Last week, we discussed: What type of anxiety do you struggle with? Thank you to all who participated and shared your thoughts with us. I appreciate you all. I hope all who may read it find it relatable too. If anyone hasn't shared yet, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
Anxiety has a way of creeping into every front of our lives, whispering doubts and insecurities at the most inconvenient times. It can chip away at our confidence, leaving us feeling not enough and stressed in the face of challenges. The constant worry and fear that anxiety brings can create a barrier between who we are and who we want to be..
This week's prompt: How has anxiety affected your overall sense of self-worth or confidence?
So, let's discuss the profound impact of anxiety on our sense of self-worth and confidence and share our emotions, experiences and what probably helped us. I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences!
@ASilentObserver Because I am hyper aware of everything around me including people, I always notice signs in body language, tone of voice, non verbal communication or something as simple as just someone looking at me. Therefore I always draw conclusions out of that. Which affects my mood based on the root of these conclusions. Like, feeling judged or being afraid of failure because I always think about what other people think.
@Michelh1996 seems like you have a tendency to overthink and make assumptions about others' intentions which can lead to negative thoughts and affect your mood. That feels draining. Would you like to share examples of how it has impacted your life?
@ASilentObserver I think some it shows most in close realtionships with friends/family as it impacts the way I respond. And in social situations with them. Like for example if I don't feel comfortable or feel like they don't care, I get a lot more quiet and close myself from them. Sometimes during a gathering like a birthday or something I then zone out and just want to go home. I also noticed that because I am always caring about what they think, I often make the effort, and when I stop doing that, they don't always seem to take the first step. Which is confronting in a way, and also creates a bit of a gap between me and the other person.
@Michelh1996 looks like you have found that your experiences of feeling misunderstood and judged by others have led to you feeling hurt and disconnected from those around you. I understand how these experiences can create difficult feelings of loneliness and isolation. Please know you have us michel here with you and you are not alone in this.
@ASilentObserver i can relate to the same exact feelings...when im very anxious, i dont feel like eating...i feel if i would puke as soon as i eat anything...i have lost 12 kgs in about 6 months and havent been able to regain it...i cant stop overthinking and drawing conclusions-mostly which portray me in the negative light, and that everyone around me would be much happier not having me around...like im just a burden to society, family, friends, everyone i know.
@adventurousLand4787 Midway while writing the above, i was halfway in tears...a big part of me just saying all this is useless, why would anyone care, how would anyone help, and like this is just a bad idea to express my feelings...i still dont understand why i decided to post that and whether it was correct...idk why but i feel like i will regret it...like my brain just says to keep my thoughts to myself, not sharing with anyone
@Michelh1996 This is extremely relatable because I have struggled with similar feelings of trying to please or impress others around me because of my hypersensitivity to people's reactions and feelings. Some things that have helped me recently are living for an audience of one instead of shifting my focus onto how people around me are perceiving me. A lot of these negative thought patterns that have brought about these behaviors must be replaced with the truth. These behaviors will not go away overnight but once you start changing the way you think and replacing negative thoughts with the truth about who you are, you will start to see changes.
@bbauer4 I get that indeed. Good that you found ways to focus more on yourself instead of others, as most of the worrying we do in these situations also comes from ourselves and not from others. Someone told me that usually in those situations other people are also way more occupied with their own thoughts, worrying about how they are perceived by others/us instead of always putting a spotlight on us. Still, changing your perspective and mindset if your very sensitive to those signals doesn't just change in a second,
Yes!! Me too. I make these assumptions based off of seeing things that others may not even notice. I feel like I can feel the energy off people and when something is off I automatically assume it’s because they don’t like me or that I have done something wrong somewhere. The downward spiral then begins.
@ASilentObserver
My anxiety has damaged my self-worth immensely. One of the things that has really significantly impacted my confidence is spiraling patterns of overthinking; I constantly analyze and re-analyze situations and interactions that I have with people, and I'm constantly coming up with hypothetical what-if situations. I have only recently developed bad anxiety (I became a Mom in the middle of the pandemic and currently have two little ones under the age of 4), and a lot of my triggers involve my children, my husband, and family relationship issues. I constantly second-guess and overthink.
A lot of the family relationship issues have to do with my husband and my in-laws. My family has a pretty healthy dynamic with communication and support; his family does not. I tend to be kind of blunt and direct and open, whereas they are not. So I am constantly worrying about upsetting them or making waves, finding out about it weeks later third-hand after they have all gossiped about me, etc. It has been very difficult because I KNOW that I am a good Mom, and a good Wife. I just choose to do things differently, and they can be very judgmental and critical. It's been difficult for me to navigate and has affected my confidence a lot.
@yellowPineapple3652 that seems like you experienced significant impacts on your self-worth due to your recent development of anxiety due to spiraling thoughts and overthinking. These negative thought patterns have taken a toll on your confidence, especially when it comes to navigating complex family dynamics and relationships. Would you like to share more about how these differences affect your interactions with your in-laws?
@yellowPineapple3652
It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of anxiety, particularly given the extra duties that come with being a mother to two small children at a time of such difficulty. It makes sense that these conditions would heighten whatever worry or self-doubt that may already be present.
Your description of your constant tendency to overanalyze and evaluate events, especially those that concern your family and in-laws, points to a pattern of rumination that may be highly draining and damaging to your self-worth. It's admirable that, in spite of the demands and criticisms from outside sources, you are aware of your abilities as a wife and mother.
Being open and honest about your difficulties is a big step toward finding solutions and developing a positive outlook.
How has anxiety affected your overall sense of self-worth or confidence?
Sometimes, anxiety makes me feel worthless... I tend to worry quite a lot. I have worried that I am not able to give my son the best life he can have due to my own issues... I'm trying to work on it. I didn't have the best childhood, and hope I can give him a better one, especially since the other parent is not in his life at all, it's only me. I'm anxious a lot of the time about the future, especially due to being down on my luck many times throughout the past few years. I haven't had many good years to be honest, a lot of tragedy has occurred. I'm hoping to break that cycle and have a better future...
@ImpudentIncognito I am sorry you are experiencing difficult emotions related to feeling worthless and worrying about providing the best life for your son. These feelings are understandable given your experiences and desire to create a better life for him. What thoughts trigger these feelings of worthlessness when you're anxious?
@ASilentObserver
❝What thoughts trigger these feelings of worthlessness when you're anxious?❞
For now, my anxiety has to do with financial issues. I feel that when I am unable to work or provide, it makes me anxious. In the past, I supported my (abusive & alcoholic) ex-fiancé completely by paying all the bills plus whatever my ex wanted, and was the "breadwinner". Then my 2nd semi-serious relationship, same thing with that ex...supported him financially as well and he ended up ghosting me... Now, I'm on my 3rd serious relationship, and I am unable to support him financially. I'm at my lowest peak -- but he still loves me for me and has supported me a lot, physically(I'm disabled & have chronic pain, protected me from abusive ex), mentally/emotionally, & financially. I want to be able to return the favour. It makes me anxious when I feel like I can't do much for the other person, I feel awful.
I used to support friends & family in the past as well, but have cut them out of my lives...since I used to be a doormat and let people step on me, I no longer allow that.
I think once I finish these real estate classes (currently studying as we speak) and I work right after, I'll feel more at ease. My partner and I are discussing about moving in together and working towards similar goals.
My anxiety has made it difficult for me to form or maintain casual connections. Moments where I feel put on the spot or vulnerable are difficult for me. For example, I can handle the simple dialogue of good morning, good morning, how are you, good and you, good, etc etc. but when they variate from that I feel like a deer in headlights. It's difficult to know what to say or if I should say anything. I end up mutter barely audible gibberish. This makes me feel social inept and socially avoidant and so sad and embarrassed and disgusted. Lately I've been trying to "just say one thing back" if someone says or asks me something. My hope is that eventually I will be more comfortable with casual conversations and able to say more than one thing.
@LostGirl92 It feels challenging to navigate moments where you feel put on the spot or vulnerable in casual conversations. Feeling like a deer in headlights can be tough. What thoughts go through your mind when you're feeling like this?
I guess mostly I think about what they are saying and if I have anything to add to it. I usually just reply with "oh" or "yeah" or "mhmm" etc. so sometimes I stutter over my words and I think about that. And other times I will say more and then feel like I over shared or didn't say something the way I meant.
@ASilentObserver
I have a habit of constantly over-analyzing
everything about myself and how others interact with me and it gets very
easy to get stuck in my own head and let my irrational anxious
thoughts spiral out of control. I present myself to most others as an
incredibly watered down version of who I actually am, I subconsciously
make myself more "palatable". Its caused me to really hate a lot of
things about myself because I believe that the people that like me only
like the watered down version. I always find myself looking back at interactions and hating things I said or being retroactively embarrassed of myself.
In recent years though, I've
started surrounding myself with people who make me feel safe opening up
and it's helped a bit. I still deal with the anxious thoughts regularly
but it helps finding people who share interests and who genuinely are
excited to hear your thoughts.
@limewizard1018 you put a lot of effort into making sure others like you, which can be exhausting and even cause negative feelings about yourself. I get it you would want to feel accepted by others. What do these anxious thoughts usually say to you?
@ASilentObserver
a common theme with my anxious thoughts are that i'm just altogether too much. I'm too loud and too talkative, or im too quiet and too standoffish. i just generally tend to feel like im always taking up too much space. like even physically because i'm tall too. its really difficult to remind yourself that you're allowed to take up space. i feel like i am constantly embarrassed of myself.
@ASilentObserver Anxiety has significantly impacted my self-esteem and confidence, turning simple situations into awkward ones. This leads me to often shy away from starting casual talks with strangers, family, and friends, as I dislike those uncomfortable silences. Moreover, I constantly fear that I might be a nuisance or that my conversations lack appeal. My eating habits are also a struggle. I am quite conscious of my appearance; hence I usually stick to just one meal a day and tend to prepare the same foods repeatedly due to finding few things appetizing.
@imofficiallyburnt i understand anxiety has been affecting many aspects of your life, causing you to feel self-conscious about interactions and yourself. These feelings can lead to avoidance and difficulties with social connections. What thoughts go through your mind when you experience these uncomfortable silences?
@ASilentObserver
@VoloVonWolfePhd I am glad you have found ways to manage your anxiety effectively through therapy and mindfulness. What do you think about when you feel anxious?
When I feel anxious, common triggers for me are concerns about health, uncertainty about the future, or the fear of not meeting expectations for myself and those of others. As a Listener, a specific anxiety I often encounter is the worry about providing the right support during conversations. Will I say the right thing? Can I truly make a difference? Reflecting on past interactions where I've positively impacted someone's day reassures me. It's a reminder that simply being there and offering an empathetic ear can be incredibly powerful and healing, both for the member and for myself
@ASilentObserver
Anxiety can indeed have a profound impact on our sense of self-worth and confidence. It can make us doubt ourselves, feel inadequate, and constantly worry about our abilities and worthiness. Personally, anxiety has often led me to question whether I'm good enough or capable enough to handle certain situations, which can significantly undermine my confidence. However, I've found that opening up about my struggles with anxiety and seeking support from others has been incredibly helpful. By sharing my emotions and experiences with trusted individuals, I've been able to gain perspective, learn coping strategies, and realize that I'm not alone in my struggles. Additionally, practicing self-care, mindfulness, and self-compassion has been instrumental in nurturing my sense of self-worth and confidence. It's an ongoing journey, but each step forward brings me closer to reclaiming my confidence and feeling more secure in myself.
@SoulBliss347 I am glad to hear that opening up about your anxiety has helped you feel less alone and more supported. What specific ways do you find most helpful when it comes to being mindful?
There are many, but my best ones are meditation and taking self care breaks. Watching movies, spending time with nature make me feel really relaxed.❤️
@ASilentObserver
My sense of self worth has caused my anxiety and the elimination of my confidence.
@Gettingbettertoday That makes sense Getting, you have been experiencing some difficult emotions related to your sense of self-worth affecting your anxiety levels and confidence. How has this impacted you?
@ASilentObserver
It has held me back my entire life.
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