Meeting People
My therapist wants me to get out more and socialize. I have been going to Meetup.com events.
I went to one last night. I don't get lonely from being alone but I do feel lonely from being in a group I don't feel I belong in. I managed to last just over an hour in total before I became so depressed that I could no longer stand it. I am still depressed nearly a full day later.
@Gettingbettertoday being pushed out of your comfort zone like that, no wonder you feel depressed. Sometimes therapists are not always right, they are the big picture not the little. Honey at the end of the day, you alone knows what you need and what's best for you ❤❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤
@Tinywhisper11 @Gettingbettertoday
awe. I agree with teenie❤️and- idk what else to say cos teenie always manages to phrase everything perfectly :p❤️❤️optional hugs for both of you.❤️
Ugh. That sucks, but at least you went. I've been on meetup.com forever and I've barely made it to any events. The ones that I did make it to and enjoyed were all really specific topics that were me. Unicorns. I found a camping weekend for black families with kids and I had a blast. I also found a flat bike path trip for out of shape people in their 50s. That one was perfect. I've also gone on the random group of strangers going out to dinner and those are bad. Really bad. Would leave anyone depressed. I hope you can find an activity that is worth putting yourself out there. Keep looking. I'm still trying.
@selfdisciplinedPenny281
There are no activities that appeal to me so I have just been going to coffee chats. It would be great to have something I am interested in to talk about about with others. As it is now when someone asks what i am into my only answer is nothing.
I went to a party this weekend with my wife. It was her old work friends that have retired. We stayed for 4 hours. I spent about 15 minutes total talking to people and the rest either eating or just sitting around. I was exhausted afterwards.
@Gettingbettertoday
Work events are the worst. Your a good spouse for going. I would have happily let my spouse go alone. I guess that might be why I'm not married. Its very awkward to show up at an event where people have an entire lifetime of shared experiences together and they haven't seen each other in a while.
I spent last weekend at an awful girl scout event. 25 adults and kids in a one room cabin for the entire weekend. No alone time. Luckily I forgot I had a dog and didn't book a kennel for the weekend. I wound up staying at a nearby campground with the dog, but spent 12 hours everyday at the Girl Scout event.
I figured at least I would get to have some grown up adult conversation. I recently moved to the area, but these women have known each other for years. They were all teachers and the only things they talked about were their kids, teaching other people's kids, girl scouts and the girls softball team. I couldn't believe that this is what they talked about and they were drinking! I was not, which probably made it worse. I already told my daughter that we were never doing that trip again.
@Gettingbettertoday I personally believe it's time for people to understand the mindset of introverts, who often find more fulfillment in their own company than in superficial relationships with others who don't share their wavelength. It's empowering to cultivate a healthy relationship with oneself rather than force connections that don't resonate.
While others may have good intentions when suggesting things to us, ultimately, we know ourselves best. As an introvert myself, I've often felt out of place and struggled through forced smiles and conversations that held no interest for me. I completely empathize with your perspective. Sometimes, it's perfectly okay to choose solitude over trying to fit into situations that don't come naturally to us.
Being comfortable with who you are is key; things will eventually fall into place. Don't worry.
Maybe you haven't matched with someone with similar interests or hobbies. What do you like to do? Or what ur favorite thing in the world even though u think is silly share a little bit. Maybe one of us have similar interests. I really understand how you are feeling bc I don't have friends who like the videogames or watching series of Minecraft for example. So some days I feel like my friends are not totally my friends. And I feel lonely.
@jinx2095
Nothing interests me and I have no hobbies. I have not had either in the last 5 years.
Well what do you do in your daily life? I can talk with u anytime you want. Don't worry to try to fit in just be you and enjoy.
@Gettingbettertoday
That's awesome!
Proud of you for pushing yourself and doing that, regardless of the result.
> "I don't get lonely from being alone but I do feel lonely from being in a group I don't feel I belong in"
I felt that. So real.
I’m so proud of you for getting out there and trying! Hopefully with time you’ll find a group that allows you to feel included and supported. Have you considered taking a known person with you to groups for added comfort?
@Gettingbettertoday I feel the same way you do I'm fine alone but I don't do well in large groups sorry to hear that your down a day after it happened. Wishing you much happiness be well
@Gettingbettertoday
Being lonely in a crowd is logical when the feeling of belolong is not there. Often just one other empathetic person is just the thing.
@Gettingbettertoday
Are there online meetup events to attend?
@TU100OT
There are online Meetups. I have chosen not to go that route myself.
@Gettingbettertoday
I guess if you keep going to the offline Meets, you'll kind of get used to it at one point, even if you come out of the Meets 15 minutes after, or 30 minutes after. You can maybe note down some points, every meet you go to, on how you're feeling, what happened during that period when you were there, what you think you can shed some light on to improve on or extend a bit more or shorten. Sticking to people with similarities also helps sometimes or small talk. Doing things you like in the meetups if it's a place with activities to do so you get people with the same interests doing the same activities so you make connections even if it's short conversations. Hope this helps