Everyone wants to be neurodivergent
This is something that has been on my mind for long long time now and that a fair amount of people might get mad at.
Before I start, im trying my hardest to not gatekeep ADHD and neurodiversity, I believe that the more correct diagnosis are given, the better.
I feel like so many people these days are looking for anyone to validate their self diagnosis of ADHD. On every adhd centered social area I have ever been in, the constant message is "Oh I took an online quiz and it said I have adhd. How do I get a diagnosis?" And my immediate reaction is "you shouldn't be saying that you have adhd, when no doctors have diagnosed you. And an online quiz doesn't mean anything." And I get pretty annoyed. Part of me knows that there is a large amount of people on the internet who really want to have adhd but don't. And a large amount who have it but don't know. And I run into those people all the time. And idk man it pisses me off. So here is where I will talk about it.
I think one reason I get so annoyed is that as much as I hate being neurodivergent, it gives me some sort of feeling of being special. And when everyone says that they are special, you don't feel special anymore. The people like that aren't doing any harm or being offensive in any way, but I still let them get to me. Focusing on yourself is easier said than done.
That's the deep down reason, but I still want to talk about it. I think that a lot of the people who self diagnose adhd online do not understand the struggle adhd provides to people like me. I don't think they understand the unhealthy levels of hyperfixation, I don't think they understand the comorbids, I don't think they really understand the struggle. But yet again, it's a little bit different for everyone, there is always going to be varying levels of adhd. But it still annoys me when those type of people undermine the serious psychological meaning of those terms by saying "omg I am like totally hyperfixated on my bf lol. It's my adhd acting up" (reak thing I have heard)
Idk man, I'm ranting like usual. But it still bugs me when those people mention those things. Am I a jerk? Or do any of you feel the same?
-Rack
@Rackson
It's a known phenomena that youth are mimicking speech impediments too. Probably part of the same trend. Another trend is Influencers talking a certain way and their followers imitate.
@Rackson
Sorry for posting twice in the same thread but I thought of another factor: that mental illnesses are being destigmatized and so people are feeling more free to identify as having them. Back in the 90s and before, it was taboo to say that you were mentally ill. People used the spinny finger pointed at their heads, it was a big deal for someone to admit they weren't "normal". Since many of those barriers are broken down now, it opens the doors for people (regardless of why) to jump in and claim they have something. I'm deliberately not distinguishing between illness, disorder, etc because it doesn't matter for the point I'm making. The general public went from sweeping under the rug to mostly embracing neurodivergence and people jumping on the bandwagon is a natural consequence thereof.
@Rackson I claim ADHD and OCD based on reasurch I did on serious struggles I have and because there's genetically a really high chance I have them since my identical brother is diagnosed.
I have seen a lot of people claim both though for no real reason and get your frustration.
Your feelings are your own and I'm happy you are trying not to gatekeep.
I am one of those people who saw a whole bunch of those videos/tik toks and regcognised myself in a lot of the things they said. A dear friend of mine (who is diagnosed) said he saw a lot of himself in me and that I probably have adhd in some form but if I wanted to know for sure I should see a doctor. Which I did (this past week). And the doctor confirmed it, gave me medication to try (yes I will be back to talk about the results) and will give me a referral so I can get an actual diagnosis (for context: I am Dutch and female and just because he is my primairy care doesn't mean he can áctually diagnose me). I also did some of those online tests just be more sure of my case but they all stated that it was nót an actual diagnosis. I only started thinking of myself having adhd when my doctor confirmed it.
The medication seems to help and even my collegues are able to notice the difference.
Fact is, if those content creators hadn't made all that content I would still me struggeling. I finally feel seen and am able to get the care/handles I need. Do I want adhd? No, never have. I had enough to deal with which is ironic because it probably was adhd the whole time.
Your feelings are your own but I for one am happy people share their experiences.
@Beetlejuice91 adhd also started coming to my attention because of these social media things. I had always knew I had the symptoms (due to my parents screaming at me) but never identified them as smth that could be different in my brain. Idk how to tell my parents or even if I will but I relate to your situation. I also have a friend with ADHD who is quite similar to me and had a talk about it with me telling me that it made a big difference for him after getting diagnosed. Ofc I may not have ADHD either way I know what you mean.
As someone who has been diagnosed in 2008 I feel the same way. I hate people being like "don't we all have a little ADHD?" Or telling me I'm not special its just a marketing strategy to sell medication
Ive been struggling my whole life with this and I feel like people saying "hehe look I have ADD/ADHD too because I'm a little hyper and the quiz said so" make my blood boil
Having ADHD/ADD etc is not funny or quirky
We have a genuin struggle in life and I feel invalidated by these people because the more people do this, the less ADHD is taken seriously
And in my experience ADHD is not taken seriously in the work field or in schools by the older generation
@Rackson
Ok, I've been struggling with this for years and have been to scared to tell my asian parents anything but based on what ADHD is and the research I've done I may and I mean really a maybe may have it. My whole life my parents have screamed at me for the same things that I have desperately tried to fix to the point of hating myself because I thought I was doing it on purpose without knowing it to get attention (being the middle child). Like how I talk too fast, can't remember a set of instructions to save my life, always use a certain filler phrase when I talk too fast (and kinda loud tbh), forget everything my parents ask of me if they ask for more than 2 things, there's more but I can't rlly think of it rn. This type of stuff I'm doing has always affected my life negatively but rn its getting more prominent and I've been trying to seek help, as I got older I learnt how to deal with it ofc but idk I think its getting to the point where I may not be able to deal with this stuff by myself. Now just to clarify, no I'm definitely not trying to self diagnose nor follow some silly trend, if anything I agree with you abt people on social media these days and don't support their constant need to be special in the weirdest ways. I just read this post and thought you could give me some insight and help me figure this stuff out, idk if its adhd smth else or maybe I'm just screwed up in the head but I just wanted to ask. Have a nice day :)
I understand what you are saying. I’m glad it’s becoming less stigmatized but it was and is excruciatingly hard to be a female with ADHD. I was diagnosed in 4th grade and it comes with a lot of stress. Seeing people say “oh it’s my ADHD” makes it feel so casual and unintentionally belittles the crippling anxiety that comes with my episodes of hyperfocus and social anxiety. I’m sorry you are feeling it too.
@Rackson
I totally get you on this! There's been a big rise in "pop psychology" on social media lately, which seems to encourage people to self-diagnose. Now, I'm not fully against people doing that, but I wish they'd remember that mental conditions should be closely examined by a professional in the end. Sure, a quiz might help guide them, but they should never be used in place of a professional.
I have a dear friend of mine who took an autism quiz that said she had tendencies. She's now going around calling herself autistic even though she's never been diagnosed by a doctor. It's rather concerning because it makes people think they can just get a diagnoses this way and everything will be fixed.
I also get irritated at people throwing around mental health conditions like they're nothing. It's been done with OCD and ADHD so many times. Like I wish so much I didn't have ADHD and then I see these people talking about it so casually. It's like those days when people kept romanticizing depression. 🙄
@Rackson hey, i feel the same, you're not alone here. i personally don't have any diagnosis so I may not be able to relate to you, but my friends joke about it, you know? i have to constantly remind them how it isn't funny. i have always wondered if I have adhd (some symptoms and behaviours match) but that doesn't mean I have it, since I am not diagnosed. these days, it's like a trend. it makes them feel unique, when in reality it shouldn't be treated any different than a normal person.