Everyone wants to be neurodivergent

@Rackson

It's a known phenomena that youth are mimicking speech impediments too. Probably part of the same trend. Another trend is Influencers talking a certain way and their followers imitate.

@Rackson They don't want Adhd, the amount of medication you need to take to act like a normal human being is not worth the 10 minutes of clout.

@limesnlemons44 very true

@Rackson

Sorry for posting twice in the same thread but I thought of another factor: that mental illnesses are being destigmatized and so people are feeling more free to identify as having them. Back in the 90s and before, it was taboo to say that you were mentally ill. People used the spinny finger pointed at their heads, it was a big deal for someone to admit they weren't "normal". Since many of those barriers are broken down now, it opens the doors for people (regardless of why) to jump in and claim they have something. I'm deliberately not distinguishing between illness, disorder, etc because it doesn't matter for the point I'm making. The general public went from sweeping under the rug to mostly embracing neurodivergence and people jumping on the bandwagon is a natural consequence thereof.

@yellowMap8006 No need to be sorry. I appreciate your thoughts. You make some good points I didn't think of.

@Rackson I claim ADHD and OCD based on reasurch I did on serious struggles I have and because there's genetically a really high chance I have them since my identical brother is diagnosed.

I have seen a lot of people claim both though for no real reason and get your frustration.

Your feelings are your own and I'm happy you are trying not to gatekeep.

I am one of those people who saw a whole bunch of those videos/tik toks and regcognised myself in a lot of the things they said. A dear friend of mine (who is diagnosed) said he saw a lot of himself in me and that I probably have adhd in some form but if I wanted to know for sure I should see a doctor. Which I did (this past week). And the doctor confirmed it, gave me medication to try (yes I will be back to talk about the results) and will give me a referral so I can get an actual diagnosis (for context: I am Dutch and female and just because he is my primairy care doesn't mean he can áctually diagnose me). I also did some of those online tests just be more sure of my case but they all stated that it was nót an actual diagnosis. I only started thinking of myself having adhd when my doctor confirmed it.

The medication seems to help and even my collegues are able to notice the difference.

Fact is, if those content creators hadn't made all that content I would still me struggeling. I finally feel seen and am able to get the care/handles I need. Do I want adhd? No, never have. I had enough to deal with which is ironic because it probably was adhd the whole time.

Your feelings are your own but I for one am happy people share their experiences.

@Beetlejuice91 adhd also started coming to my attention because of these social media things. I had always knew I had the symptoms (due to my parents screaming at me) but never identified them as smth that could be different in my brain. Idk how to tell my parents or even if I will but I relate to your situation. I also have a friend with ADHD who is quite similar to me and had a talk about it with me telling me that it made a big difference for him after getting diagnosed. Ofc I may not have ADHD either way I know what you mean.

As someone who has been diagnosed in 2008 I feel the same way. I hate people being like "don't we all have a little ADHD?" Or telling me I'm not special its just a marketing strategy to sell medication

Ive been struggling my whole life with this and I feel like people saying "hehe look I have ADD/ADHD too because I'm a little hyper and the quiz said so" make my blood boil

Having ADHD/ADD etc is not funny or quirky

We have a genuin struggle in life and I feel invalidated by these people because the more people do this, the less ADHD is taken seriously

And in my experience ADHD is not taken seriously in the work field or in schools by the older generation

@Rackson

Ok, I've been struggling with this for years and have been to scared to tell my asian parents anything but based on what ADHD is and the research I've done I may and I mean really a maybe may have it. My whole life my parents have screamed at me for the same things that I have desperately tried to fix to the point of hating myself because I thought I was doing it on purpose without knowing it to get attention (being the middle child). Like how I talk too fast, can't remember a set of instructions to save my life, always use a certain filler phrase when I talk too fast (and kinda loud tbh), forget everything my parents ask of me if they ask for more than 2 things, there's more but I can't rlly think of it rn. This type of stuff I'm doing has always affected my life negatively but rn its getting more prominent and I've been trying to seek help, as I got older I learnt how to deal with it ofc but idk I think its getting to the point where I may not be able to deal with this stuff by myself. Now just to clarify, no I'm definitely not trying to self diagnose nor follow some silly trend, if anything I agree with you abt people on social media these days and don't support their constant need to be special in the weirdest ways. I just read this post and thought you could give me some insight and help me figure this stuff out, idk if its adhd smth else or maybe I'm just screwed up in the head but I just wanted to ask. Have a nice day :)

I understand what you are saying. I’m glad it’s becoming less stigmatized but it was and is excruciatingly hard to be a female with ADHD. I was diagnosed in 4th grade and it comes with a lot of stress. Seeing people say “oh it’s my ADHD” makes it feel so casual and unintentionally belittles the crippling anxiety that comes with my episodes of hyperfocus and social anxiety. I’m sorry you are feeling it too.

@Rackson

I totally get you on this! There's been a big rise in "pop psychology" on social media lately, which seems to encourage people to self-diagnose. Now, I'm not fully against people doing that, but I wish they'd remember that mental conditions should be closely examined by a professional in the end. Sure, a quiz might help guide them, but they should never be used in place of a professional.

I have a dear friend of mine who took an autism quiz that said she had tendencies. She's now going around calling herself autistic even though she's never been diagnosed by a doctor. It's rather concerning because it makes people think they can just get a diagnoses this way and everything will be fixed. 

I also get irritated at people throwing around mental health conditions like they're nothing. It's been done with OCD and ADHD so many times. Like I wish so much I didn't have ADHD and then I see these people talking about it so casually. It's like those days when people kept romanticizing depression. 🙄

@Rackson hey, i feel the same, you're not alone here. i personally don't have any diagnosis so I may not be able to relate to you, but my friends joke about it, you know? i have to constantly remind them how it isn't funny. i have always wondered if I have adhd (some symptoms and behaviours match) but that doesn't mean I have it, since I am not diagnosed. these days, it's like a trend. it makes them feel unique, when in reality it shouldn't be treated any different than a normal person. 

Hey I just wrote a post asking about that. I’m really trying not to be like those people who self diagnose off of a rinky test, but I have been doing some reaserch, and I feel like I might have adhd. I really don’t want to self diagnose but I’m also scared about asking my doctor, so what should I do?

I feel this, it makes me feel weird to try and mention it in certain places in fear of appearing like another kid pointing at one symptom or another that makes them feel trendy. Not sure if that exactly makes sense but I am agreeing with you.

... even moreso with the short wave of 'schizoposting' memes and such... the moment tweens start mentioning their quirky schizoid behaviors is the moment I quit the internet lmao

@Rackson

Hello, I do understand your feelings. With this post, I also don't mean to accidentally offend anyone here, and I'm really sorry if I do.

I understand that having a mental disorder is difficult, and not just a silly craze or a label, and I don't like when people think ADHD and other mental disorders are just something you slap a nametag onto yourself and be like: "OH! LOOK! I HAVE ADHD, HAHA!" I understand the difficulties that come with mental disorders, and how everyone deals with such mental disorders differently. Though, I find this discussion thread to make me feel rather guilty in someway. Idk if my post here is in a different scenario than this, but I felt I had to speak something about it. It's important and VALID you made this post by the way; I'm stating how I feel about this. Also, if I am doing something or somethings wrong when thinking about potentially having a mental disorder: I want to be informed, so I won't insult anyone in the future. I'm one of those people who hasn't been diagnosed with any mental disorders, but throughout the years, I've been questioning myself, and how I acted. I have a therapist, and while we've talked about the topic for a little while, mainly, nothing really came up and we're focusing on other things instead. Two of my online friends, who I play games with, also talked to me about considering the fact I COULD have autism (one friend said this) OR ADHD (another friend, who's diagnosed, said this.) In that discussion, the friend that who thought I had autism, mainly discussed on how I acted younger than a teenager. My jokes weren't funny sometimes. They mainly talked about my silliness and goofiness being an issue, and they were the only ones EVER in my life to call out my silliness in that regard. NO ONE else ever said something. My family is usually silly too, so that could be a factor on why I've never caught it? If it's an issue? I'm not sure. You see, this made me feel confused, as I thought my silliness when I was happy was normal, and it was a good trait. I felt called out and I felt offended. I was somewhat compared to another online friend we have who's been diagnosed with autism. I'm basically like THEM, except (something something something.) While I know I act immature at times, I never thought I acted TOO immature when in a happy mood. So, that contributed to my factors of uncertainty. Even before this discussion, I'd often wonder to myself about my potential to have a mental disorder. I'd often search around the internet, feeling lost and confused with myself, wanting potential answers. This is also contributes to the later stuff in this post I'm making. The friend who said I could have ADHD, mainly considered my hyperactivity in someway. I don't even know if I have complete hyperactivity, and I even say to myself I don't think I have ADHD. The goofiness, however, probably was something with that factor as well. With my family, I'm often called "silly," "silly rabbit," "a fool" (in a jokingly way), and a lot of nicknames related to how silly I am. Around my online friends, my ADHD friend, has mainly said things like: "You're the MOST goofiest person in our group!" "How are you the second most goofiest person I know?" I don't really take offense into things as I usually don't think about it too much. Although, nowadays, here's where I feel guilty. I've become an overwhelming detective for myself, often trying to grab a LOT of pieces of "evidence" and writing them in my journal. Using the internet and such, or just using my mind and thinking how this doesn't seem "right." While I haven't wrote any more things that I've noticed in a while, about myself; I do know that I bombard myself with writing these. Also, this writing occurence appeared around AFTER the discussion with my online friends. Sometimes, I also blabber to myself about having a diagnosed mental disorder, and how people would treat me. I'd basically blabber about scenarios and imagine them in my head. I have a vivid imagination and while I imagine a lot of things; I feel this is wrong to imagine about and just talk to myself casually with made-up scenarios and such. I mainly blabber about dealing with such disorder at school, and thinking about how my teachers and classmates would react knowing the fact I was diagnosed with something. This doesn't go just to ADHD or autism, this goes to other disorders like anxiety or depression. Again, I'm really sorry if I do offend anyone with this, and I don't want to cause anyone to feel a certain way. And, I also take online quizzes (although, not as much as I used to.) However, I'd never say things about actually HAVING such disorder, as I know they are just quizzes. Although, it makes me have a want to be diagnosed, to see if I do have any mental disorder. I know I'd be happy with having an answer, regardless if it's no mental disorder at all or I do have a mental disorder. Idk, I felt I needed to say something about this. I'm on a path of self-discovery, and this whole thing with trying to find out if I have a mental disorder, I don't know if I'm dealing with the topic in an insulting way. I'd like to be known of this, and I'd like to talk about this more, if that's okay. I don't know if this different from the topic here, however, I do hope that everyone here will have blessings and better days ahead of them. 💖

@Rackson

i have undiagnosed adhd, in the sense my dr and therapist discussed I most likely do have it but my mom refuses to have me officially tested. It really sucks because I struggle a lot with it, and so many people annoy me, even my own sister. She will be like oh sorry I forgot about my math work, its my adhd hehe, shes never hyperfixated. Its the same with people saying omg I'm having a panic attack when they arent, I've had panic attacks since the age of six months. 

Im unmedicated and it makes it even worse seeing as I am fake claimed for not being medicated. I assure you professionals pushed my mom to get the test, but since I'm on state insurance my dr cannot require or refer me, its my moms choice.

@Rackson Your feelings are valid, and it's okay to have complex emotions about how ADHD is discussed and understood, especially in online spaces. It's clear that you have a deep understanding of the challenges associated with ADHD, and it's natural to feel a range of emotions when others may not fully grasp the depth of those struggles.

@Rackson

Oh my Lord yes!!!

I have Social Communication Disorder and have to be retested for Autism in two years to see if the diagnosis changes or holds as I grow older. 

I've never understood the appeal of having autism. I mean the social issues to even start with. I don't understand jokes, let alone, facial expressions, body language, or social cues. Plus I have lots of sensory issues. 

My brother has ADHD combined type, so I know what it looks like and I understand the struggles behind it. It's definitely not something that I want or that my brother enjoys. I will never understand people who think it's cool or quirky. 

As an aside to the term neurodivergent becoming cool and quirky all of a sudden, I believe it somewhat has to do with the destigmatization of mental illness, and so now people feel safer identifying with certain mental illnesses. It seems like the ones that are hardest to cope with are the ones that people think are cool or fun to have. 

Anyways, just really wanted to say that I totally agree with what you are saying and I understand it. Here if ya ever wanna talk.

-Nova

@Rackson

Hi Rack! 😊 ❤️ Thank you so very much for your amazing forum post, shedding additional light on this as well as having the courage to come forward and express your feelings in regard all of this. I just so happen to agree with you and completely and I'm sorry that you have to see these things. *hugs* ❤️

Agreed, we should never try to diagnose others nor should we ever engage in self diagnosis. An online quiz is inconclusive and one should be going to a trained clinician as opposed to toying with a readily available online quiz. 

By one claiming to be neurodivergent while not knowing if one truly is does seem to be a trend as of late (along with a lot of other things) and it's not a good one in my opinion. It seems to me, to be making light of the situation. The need to feel special or to create some sort of "crutch" to lean on that may not exist and there for to excuse certain behaviors. I guess it could at times even move into the category of malingering. 

Some can use this self diagnosis in a way to not take responsibility for their actions and almost to say "it's not me that does this, it's that neurodivergent issue over there so I am now absolved".  Nothing can be farther from the truth and whether someone is or is not, we are all still responsible for our own emotional regulation as well as actions. 

This takes away from others that truly are nerodivergent in what ever way that might be. Those that have come to realize, after potentially years of feeling confused and alone, that they are nuerodivergent have had their own "crosses to bare" and maybe always will. Making light of the topic and using this as a tool for attention seeking purposes is sad as well as distasteful. 

The "hero" part of your forum post is that it seems that over time you have finally come to embrace simply one of the things that makes you special and unique! I imagine there are many other things about you as a human being that make you special too! Big Wow! 😊moment my friend!

I commend you, as that truly takes a great deal of growth as well as maturity. Nothing makes me happier than to hear that you have moved into embracing, loving and accepting all of the many things that make you amazing and quite wonderful! ❤️

Others that claim to be this or that, while not being so...well......they haven't had to face certain struggles and maybe simply lack understanding as well as empathy and compassion. "They know not what they do". 

I try to have empathy and compassion for them as well. I imagine many are confused from time to time, reach for answers and look in all the wrong places up to and including the path of least resistance, a silly online quiz. Maybe they wonder "why am I the way that I am" and are on a journey of self discovery and might not understand how harmful it is what it is that they are doing/saying to others and how harmful it is even to themselves. 

Rack, again, many thanks for your beautifully written and well thought out forum post. I imagine your post will also bring a great deal of comfort to others that have dealt with this and to know that they are not alone.❤️

*high fives* 😊 and big *hugs* ❤️

@Rackson

"im trying my hardest to not gatekeep ADHD and neurodiversity"

This would be like trying to gatekeep amputation or epilepsy, these are not personality traits but literal disorders.

"I feel like so many people these days are looking for anyone to validate their self diagnosis of ADHD."

Never met one.

"On every adhd centered social area I have ever been in"

Never encountered one "adhd circle" in my life, despite I have an official "severe-case adhd" diagnosis from health ministry, through diagnosis by a government hospital. Instead everyone I met in life were non-adhd.

So I can not relate to your post, instead no one wants to have adhd.

@agreeableCircle4397 I feel that. Sorry for the confusion. This post could have been written much better. I hope you get the general idea of the post. I appreciate your thoughts. Smart stuff.

I read a book called ADHD 2.0 written by two psychologists with ADHD. They said that while they don’t agree that everyone is a little bit ADHD, because of all the information overload, many are struggling with attention. I forget the name they gave it. But really great read! I haven’t been diagnosed but I have four kids that I’m sure got theirs from me. Just so hard to spend that money on myself.

Hey Rack,

you brought some interesting points, and even because of the reactions you've got, let me add my perspective (that possibly resonates with me as a LGBTQ+ person).

Validation.

I find it that simple. Unless you focus on a group of people that are attention-seekers, which I feel is limited to (a)social networks with young audience, I find that people just want to feel that "they are not alone", and to communicate their stand they've picked the ADHD / neurodivergent / autism label. And it is difficult to object that it is, in fact, great, and it works! We're social creatures and we want to fit in. Not be alone. It is also the reason people are more open nowadays about their mental health issues I think. And that I find positive.

I've heard some estimates are that up to 30% of the population could be hidden under the ADHD label, and this brings me to the other aspect of this – it is generally difficult to draw the line, since the diagnosis is based on self-reporting and lived experience. I believe that anyone can read up just enough things on the internet and "fake" their diagnosis if they wanted, regardless of their condition. Do I care? I mean, I see the official diagnosis as a way to get to the potentially useful medication, not less, not more. I would not be empathetic with a person waving with a paper in my face, but could relate with their struggles.

When I think of the neurodivergencies within the evolutionary process, they are advantageous in some cases, most likely not caused by "a single thing", and there will be a wide range of experiences that can fall under that, including a lot of nuances. For that reason I believe it is not a good approach to try to draw the line, and instead, turn back to "basics" such as: What does it mean to you? What kind of issues do you need to tackle? And here I see a big overlap with the fact that I see myself "somewhere" on the "rainbow spectrum" and I use the labels wherever appropriate to simplify the communication.

By the way, use of language from psychology in a pop-culture, seeping into everyday lives, is a thing that is not limited to ADHD or neurodivergency; it happened in the past, and will most likely happen in the future. I don't think it's necessarily bad, it just often forces us to be more specific when we talk about things. Someone being "toxic", "gaslighting", having "depression", etc. – there is only a vague idea floating around those terms, and you need to be aware that they are not diagnoses, and that everyone finds something slightly different under those terms. If interested, I may try to look up the article I read about this lately.

Validation II.

I feel like the validation, or, in fact, invalidation, is also one of the things that fuel your feelings. I don't think it's the "need to feel special", but rather the feeling that, by accepting that more people use the label, they are invalidating your experience. I don't believe this needs to be the case; I'm not frustrated by the fact "someone is taking over it". In the worst case I can simply be more specific? I'm pretty sure that even among people "officially diagnosed" with ADHD, whatever that means, is such a broad range of functioning impairments, that I don't feel the need to "compare" or "make my ADHD more valid". Who am I to invalidate struggles of the others, however lame they may seem to me?

You may always direct the conversation towards the experiences rather than labels, in case you want to meaningfully participate.

Experience.

As some already pointed out, (outside of the social media,) it is not easy to go around with the ADHD label. The stigma around mental health is still way too high to willingly undergo that. I'm kinda conflicted – at the same time I'd want to freely use that label so that it actually gets more normal to talk about it in general, but I'm afraid of being viewed as someone who is looking for an excuse. I don't want to be treated differently, neither because I'm gay, nor because I identify as having ADHD and trying out meds. And yes, I also don't want to invalidate the experience of you or the others, and that's difficult within the limited space.

Now that I learned quite a bit about ADHD I see a lot of signs similar to mine among my family. But they don't know about my diagnosis. Partly because it's also a taboo; I don't feel welcome sharing it with them. But I also don't want to "impose" problems on them. I've lived with an undiagnosed ADHD my whole childhood and I've only "hit the wall" later in my studies and when I got my job. I was able to mostly manage. As far as I'm aware, they are also managing. And I spot all the workarounds they've came up with and seem to be fine with them.

Which brings me back to the main point – it should be about helping each other to tackle the difficulties we face, not about fighting over labels or diagnoses. I leave the latter for the doctors and researchers.

Hope you're well!

Mel

@Mel2248 Wow, thank you for your thoughts on this. I love to hear people's opinions on this topic and I loved reading this.