Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Struggling with ADHD - challenges adapting to new job, meds not helping

galfromaway October 11th
I was diagnosed a year ago with combined ADHD - I'm now 53. The last year and a half has been challenging, with trying to find meds that work for me (on my 5th try now), dealing with a toxic work environment, then having my role eliminated (along with 7 others the same day) in February of this year  (and husband being laid off a week later), and now trying to adapt to a role I've only been in for four months. I'm really struggling to figure out processes and ways to keep myself organized, and am really feeling like I'm letting people down. My boss knows the ADHD thing - I mentioned the side effects from the meds. Add to that husband's aunt passing away, a good friend facing a cancer diagnosis, and there's really a lot happening.

I think I'm starting to reach ADHD burnout - I'm letting tasks at work, at home and in volunteer roles slip, I'm not doing the quality work that I normally do, and my anxiety attacks are getting very serious. Everything is simply overwhelming, and I can't tell if I'm projecting onto my boss and colleagues that they're fed up with me and I'm >< this close to being fired, or what.

How do you deal with overwhelm at this level?

How do you communicate burnout to volunteer colleagues and work colleagues in a way that it doesn't sound like I'm making excuses? And do I disclose the cause of it all? My boss knows the ADHD thing - I mentioned the side effects from the meds.

I'm really struggling and don't know how to handle things right now. I am starting counseling again, but wanted to see if any other adult diagnosed ADHD folks had suggestions.

4
ASilentObserver October 22nd

@galfromaway Heello Gal, thank you for opening up with us here. I appreciate you. I am sorry to hear you have been through a lot recently. I am gladyou taking steps to reach out for support. It is a good step to start with. Dealing with overwhelm can feel impossible, especially when so much is on your plate. What would you say is the most pressing issue right now that you would like to tackle?

Some of the steps you can start with: 
1. Setting your boundaries 

2. You can explain how burnout is affecting your work performance and overall well-being. Maybe you can say something like, "I'm finding it difficult to concentrate and meet deadlines due to feeling mental fatigue."

3. It is good to be direct and honest, but you don't have to disclose the underlying cause of your burnout, especially if it is a personal matter. Unless you very comfortable sharing that, better to not tell. 

Please know you have all of us here with you to listen to and to support. you are not alone in this. 


2 replies
galfromaway OP October 24th

@ASilentObserver

Thank you for your feedback. It's very helpful, and is giving me a lot to think about. Sharing the burnout piece is tough for some reason - how much do I share, how general to I make the information kind of thing. (I have a big tendency to overshare)

The biggest thing I am trying to tackle, I think, is dealing with the anxiety and self-criticism that comes with the burn-out and stress, and the rejection sensitive dysphoria that plays a huge part in this too. Learning to find balance and better organization when there is so much happening would be amazing.

Always lots to work on.

I appreciate knowing I'm not alone in this. Thank you <3

1 reply
zealousRose5745 October 26th

@galfromaway Hi Gal, I relate to what you're feeling here.  It feels especially vulnerable to even try to educate coworkers about the characteristics of  ADHD sometimes.  I've always tried to remind myself that "it's an explanation, not an excuse."

identifying and communicating your needs and boundaries at work can ultimately allow you to contribute more.  I'm in my fifties as well and I really hear you about carrying the shame.

For me, a lot of the shame I carried came from the years I spent fighting to function the way that everyone else seemed to.. Once I started shifting my perspective from how I couldn't do it like everyone else toward how I can secure and protect the environment and supports I need to be the best version of myself. 

Thanks for your post.  This is a conversation we need to keep having! :)


load more
load more
aCalmOasis October 27th

@galfromaway

Hi galfromaway, I totally got a feel of your sense of overwhelm just by reading your post. I am so sorry you are getting hit with all these stressors at once, that is so hard. I am glad you have taken the time to share your experience and concerns here with us. I feel like community is so essential to reach out to when we are in the weeds of life.

In dealing with the overwhelm, if it were me in your situation, I would try my best to be kind and patient with myself during this process. What I have also found helpful when life it is too much, is evaluating and focusing on what is in my direct control in my life on a daily basis. That way I can prioritize which challenge gets my attention first and eventually each of these challenges do get dealt with. In my experience things just take longer when you have ADHD and we have to contend with getting  overwhelmed and the rejection dysphoria and that is ok.

I hope that the counseling you are starting up again goes well and they can help you to strategize how to manage things going forward. Wishing you much healing in finding your balance again. The seven cups community is here for you!