Weekly Prompt #4: A Jar Full of Life
Hello everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
Today I want to talk about life when experiencing depression. But before we discuss it, I request you all take a minute and watch this video.
Now, discussion time!
- If your life is that mayonnaise jar, what all do you have?
- And if you can add or remove one thing in/ from it, what that would be? Why?
Let's get started and share your thoughts with us.
Interesting how he mentioned job as a pebble. I've always had my job as a golf ball. Something for me to think about.
I don't have much to take out. What I need is to balance and to add in self care and self love as one of the golf balls.
@OptimisticMoon1124
I hear you on the the Job.
For most of my life the Job has been a Pebble. Then one day, my therapist said "Will your job be there when you get gravely ill?"
Meaning, when the chips fall, you Loved One will be there, your job will replace you.
@Barltik2065 That's the cold truth, man. Workaholics never seem to understand it...
Sure, we all have to do what we need to. Do the best you can, don't p1ss off the boss, get that bread. But no one (or very few people these days) is truly indispensable. For every worker in a job there are always others who will happily do it if you get fired or laid off.
@slowdecline48
Exactly.
My attitude has been for the such situations is.
"I may not be the sharpest knife in your tool chest. I also know I am not the fastest for a specific task. But I do know, I am a tool that is the most useful and dependable. There isn't a task I can't complete. I give my employer X number hours for Y number dollars. Whatever needs to be done. You want the toilet's cleaned? So be it, it will be done without complaint. But know I am one EXPENSIVE toilet cleaner! It doesn't matter, I here either way. What I will NOT tolerate, disrespecting me and lying to me. I am a loyalist my nature, and my demands are simple. Give me respect and honesty and I will give fair and honest good work."
If they want to replace me? So be it. Have 10 other companies that will hire me. I am ok being put in a closet and slide your work tasks under the door to me. LOL.
@OptimisticMoon1124 It sounds like this metaphor about pebbles and golf balls has given you some insightful reflection on your priorities and self-care. Recognizing the need to add self-love and self-care as a priority, is an important realization. Please take your small steps towards it and know we are all here with you to support as well.
@ASilentObserver
Thank you! A a parent, creating security for my kids and family has been part of how I define "taking care" of my family. Job is a means to that end. But I agree, it's necessary to self reflect and make sure that it does't become a golf ball that takes over and trumps the more important things in life.
@ASilentObserver
If my life was that mayonnaise jar, and I could remove something from it, I would remove whatever it is that is keeping me closed off from the world.
@Dallady I can relate to that... For years on end my life has been d**n near monastic, at times. Since events in the late 2010's & my main diagnosis, my hermitic tendency has only strengthened.
It would be a lot easier if I could find someone who is trustworthy...not an easy task in the best of conditions.
@slowdecline48
I hear ya.
Mine was around 2000. There were some serious dark times for me.
But know there is hope and it is possible. I might be old but am proof there is hope and opportunity
@Barltik2065 Now I must ask: how are you proof, sir?
If you managed to meet someone great in spite of everything, I wanna know how you pulled it off!
@slowdecline48
I am here.
I had went from what was perceived to be a rewarding relationship and future.
What it ended being was a S. Predator, deceit, mental abuse, economic destruction, demoralization, homeless. Bills that became my responsibility, were far greater than my income. And I haven't eaten or turn on the heat, or put gas in the car to go to work, nor do I have a place to put my head, etc.
And I am here to share it with you.
There is hope.
@Dallady I understand wanting to feel more open and connected. Feeling closed off from others can be difficult. What do you think is keeping you from feeling more connected to those around you?
Huh... I'm glad that he emphasizes other important things over job and a car.
I dunno, I keep pouring a bunch of beer into mine. Better beer than American version Corona mind you.
As for taking things out, I keep having to remove friends from my life, but it's not something I want to do. People get toxic, and it's really lonely when people that matter to you become something different.
Ultimately, after this life, I want something bigger and better than the mayonnaise jar life I was born into.
@Torean I understand feeling like life is limited or constrained, and wanting more fulfillment and meaning. It can be hard to let go of relationships that are no longer healthy or supportive. What kinds of things would feel bigger and better for you?
@ASilentObserver
A lot of things are bigger and better, but since I was thinking about life in general... There's just too much ugliness in this world. I want somewhere that isn't powered by control and abuse. Even if it falls to me to create it.
@Torean I understand feeling disheartened by ugliness and abuse in the world. It's inspiring that you want to create something better. While creating change on a large scale can feel overwhelming, focusing on what gives you hope and starting small can help.
One "golf ball" I've always had: My art.
(Shameless plug alert: You can find mostly unpolished samples of it here)
A little over a decade ago I added a craft to it (woodworking); that could be another golf ball but as I could live without it if necessary, it's probably a pebble or handful of sand...even if it feels like it's a golf ball, considering I use it to build mobility aids--which I need.
What else? There's money but I won't go into that for obvious reasons. Money is everyone's golf ball. Either you have some & want to protect it & make it grow (if you're smart), or you don't have any & are trying to get some.
Have removed a bit of sand & am trying to remove more this year. Too much weighs down the jar. To me, life should ideally be like a serious motorcycle or bicycle: Stripped of unnecessary things & able to move fast, so you can keep up with the times.
If I could add a golf ball to my jar, it would be the most important one...that is, health. I don't have enough of it & there isn't much that can be done. Living with chronic conditions stinks.
It would be nice to have some family nearby too...my relatives all live far away & most of us don't talk to each other. Not for deliberate reasons, it's just that everyone has lives to lead. So that's another golf ball.
@slowdecline48 I am glad to hear that you value your art and creative pursuits as important aspects of your life (golf balls), as well as practical needs like mobility aids to accommodate health conditions. You also recognize that money, health, and relationships are common priorities for many. while, you'd like to minimize unnecessary burdens (sand) and complications so that you can focus on what matters most to you, while also accepting that there are limits to what is within your control, like chronic health issues or distance from family. I appreciate you sharing what's significant in your life and the metaphor of what you're balancing in your "jar". Is there anything else you'd like to express about the golf balls, sand, or jar that represent what you hold most important or are navigating?
My golf balls are family, friends, and my home. My job and car were golf balls, also, But I am unable to drive or work at this time. I loved my job I needed a car to do it. If I'm ever able to work again I do have a job to go back to. they will make room for me. Bosses and coworkers are also good friends. I would like to make self-care a golf ball where it's currently sand. Acquaintances have moved from pebbles to Sand. Relaxing has moved from sand or actually beer to pebbles. I hope that will also become a golf ball. Rome wasn't built in a day... Working on it. And if it falls before I'm done, I guess it really won't matter.
@adaptableOcean4193 I understand it can be difficult to adjust priorities and let go of things that were once important to you. It sounds like you're working to reprioritize your life and focus on what matters most - your family, friends and home. Making self-care a priority and finding ways to relax and unwind are great goals to work towards. While change can take time, keep taking small steps each day towards what's most important to you. You've got this.
I think that Depression has been the culprit and misled us with our focus in life. Everything in the jar had been mixed up, we tend to lose our priorities and struggle with getting a grasp on which element makes us happy. Everything we have in the jar is just as important, while some may need to be taken out temporarily, but they all should be present. All elements in the jar is intertwined, and one leads to the next, almost like a cause and effect relationship. So, it comes down to the weight we put on each element, the time we spend on it to make it work, and even the value we give it.
@ASilentObserver
@Jaeteuk I hear that you feel like your priorities and focus in life have gotten mixed up, and that it can be difficult to figure out what would make you happy. It sounds like the different aspects of your life are interconnected, and finding balance is about adjusting how much time and value you assign to each one. I can understand feeling overwhelmed by this. What would you find most helpful right now in starting to regain balance?
I was referring to how others may feel about their jars and priorities.
As for myself, I've been setting career goals, which is helping with finding a balance. Mental health is continuously a work in progress, and as for physical health, I've been keeping it neutral, not getting worse but is fair to start off with. Family and friends, with immediate family as in parents and brother, relationship with my brother is better, as he's helping with achieving my career goals, but with parents, we're still not as close as I had once hoped. As with friends, I don't really have any to stay connected with. As with other priorities in life, currently, I just need to focus on my career goals. Must succeed in order to have a normal life.
@ASilentObserver
