Keeping Forums Welcoming and Supportive: Forum Guidelines Update
Hi everyone, I hope you all are well. A big thank you to everyone who contributes to a supportive forum environment. We appreciate you! Before making this announcement, I want to share some context. As you know we are a community that is open to learning and growing. We welcome constructive feedback and we celebrate the positive feedback. We have grown a lot over the years and we have noticed an increase in forum posts that do not offer helpful feedback and actually take away from the welcoming and supportive forum environment and that is not okay.
In order to offer helpful constructive feedback please follow this model:
1. Identify the problem or concern.
2. Write it out.
3. Ensure you're not framing any personal opinions as concrete facts, making blanket statements or catastrophizing.
4. Ask what are the emotions that I'm evoking with this feedback?
5. Ask yourself – how would I feel if someone wrote this to me?
6. If you feel good about it, then post it. If you don't feel good about it, then revise it so that you would feel good about it.
Be sure to include solutions along with the feedback you are providing. Ask yourself, 'Okay, if I were to solve this problem, what would I do?" Try to sketch it out in as much detail as you can. Use the following headings:
Problem - please state clearly
Solution - usually the opposite of the problem
Hypothesis 1 - a concrete way we can implement a solution to try to address the problem.
Hypothesis 2 - a second concrete way we can implement a solution to address the problem.
This is how it would look for quality:
Problem: Some listeners do a poor job of listening as evidenced by leaving chats, taking too long to respond, or not being empathetic.
Solution: Help these listeners do a better job by fully engaging in chats, responding quickly, and being empathic.
Hypothesis 1 - mandatory practice chat box that addresses these issues.
Hypothesis 2 - listener tips that address these issues.
How will we know if the above is working? We should see an increase in 4 and 5 star ratings, positive reviews, and increased positive conversations.
Interested in learning more about the problem/solution model? Learn more here
Following the above-mentioned model allows you to provide helpful feedback that leads to further improvement of our beloved community. You are welcome to provide feedback through this form, you can also post feedback in this forum section.
In order to maintain a therapeutic space, moving forward we will be deleting forum posts (this includes forums that come under sub-communities) that take away from a supportive forum environment. If a forum post is not helpful nor positive then it will be deleted. In such a case, you will be informed of the deletion and if it is in violation of our behaviour point system then you will be assigned behavior point(s).
A simple way to ensure that your posts are in line with our guidelines is to answer the following questions:
What kind of impact is this going to have on the community?
Is it neutral, positive, helpful, does it build people up?
Does it create health or compassion?
Please refer to our forum guidelines here.
We are a community that strives for growth and collaboration. We appreciate each and every one of you. This update is to maintain a space where we can come together as a community and continue to work towards our mission.
@Hope Thank you for posting the guidelines to participate, Hope. It is important for all of us to participate inclusively and provide all support to create a healthy environment for every member in the community.
I am thankful to all our community members in helping and supporting each other compassionately.
@Hope
To clarify, this update is aimed towards forum posts with the intention of constructive feedback only, correct? I know that there are times when I am having conversations with people that aren't really about advice, they're more lighthearted things you would talk about as friends. Just want to make sure that those types of posts will not be deleted
@Hope
Thank you for the update! I have a few feedback items related to this update.
1) Community awareness
Problem: Currently, I believe the only community members who will know that this rule is now in effect are those who have stumbled across this thread, either by visiting the "Safety & Knowledge" community or by happening to see it in "new posts".
Impact: If community members are unaware of the new guidelines, there could be an increase in infractions accompanied by a backlash from those on the receiving end. There could also be inconsistent enforcement if forum leaders are among those unaware of the new guidelines.
Solution: Increase awareness of this rule to maximize the chances of adherence and prevent any possible misunderstandings or associated dissatisfaction/distrust/resentment before any issues occur.
Recommendation #1: Make this thread an announcement so that it has increased visibility.
Recommendation #2: Add a brief summary of the new rule (possibly with a link to this thread for more information) to all common places where forum guidelines are referenced. Examples:
- https://help.7cups.com/hc/en-us/articles/360034305974-Forum-Community-Guidelines
- https://www.7cups.com/about/communityGuidelines.php#forum
- [Forum guidelines displayed when creating a new post and then clicking the "Posting Guidelines" link in the lower-right corner of the new post window.]
- [Rules Handbook in progress]
Recommendation #3: Have the actions in Recommendations #1 and #2 be a standard process/system for all future rule updates.
2) Responsiveness to feedback
Background: The 7 Cups values include high expectations and accountability.
Problem: Users might potentially provide appropriate feedback using the required structure but not receive a timely/supportive response.
Impact of problem on individuals:
- Frustration: "I cared enough to phrase everything perfectly but nobody cared enough to respond"
- Futility: "What is the point of submitting feedback?"
- Powerlessness: "No matter how hard I try, I am completely helpless to be able to do anything to fix this problem"
- Rebelliousness: "If they aren't going to listen to me or respect me, why should I listen to them and respect them?"
Impact of problem on community:
- Increased likelihood of inappropriate feedback: Users who have the experiences described above are more likely to abandon the feedback model. The mindset they'd have while doing this is: "I don't have any other options. I did everything properly but nobody's paying attention. The only way anybody will listen to me or acknowledge that I exist is if I resort to more extreme measures."
- Diffusion of experiences above to many users: When I see someone else provide feedback in a public post but not receive a response, I sometimes feel a bit hurt, bitter, angry, rebellious, etc. just on their behalf from witnessing that as a bystander. When an individual doesn't receive a response, it doesn't just affect that individual.
- Increased divisiveness, erosion of trust: We have a pretty empathetic/compassionate community where users are accustomed to caring about and trying to support one another. The way that this manifests in this situation is that users rally around a common cause based on a shared sense of moral responsibility (i.e. "that person's/group's feelings and ideas aren't being heard--I need to protect/help them") and in practice this unfortunately leads to an "us" (users) vs. "them" (leaders who are ignoring us) type of dynamic.
Solution: To avoid these negative outcomes, ensure that users who provide appropriate feedback receive a timely/supportive response.
Recommendation: Establish a complementary set of guidelines for responding to feedback, modeled around known supportive elements from active listening, e.g.
- Setting expectations/boundaries - have someone designated to provide responses; let community members know who will respond, when they can reasonably expect a response, and what they should/shouldn't expect to happen after they provide feedback.
- Ghosting/response time - provide a response within a timeframe that's consistent with the expectations that have been set.
- Reflection/validation - ensure that this response acknowledges the ideas/feelings expressed by the person who has provided the feedback and attempts to see things from their perspective to some degree.
3) Consistency with Behavioral Points System
Problem: It's possible that certain information/policies associated with the Behavioral Points System may be out-of-date after this forum guideline change.
Solution: Confirm that the Behavioral Points System is consistent with the updated forum guidelines.
Recommendation #1: Have someone review the Behavioral Points System thread and make updates if needed.
Recommendation #2: If any updates are made, communicate this to everyone on that team so that the guidelines are consistently applied in actual practice.
Disclaimer: I'm not very familiar with the Behavioral Points System. It might be totally fine. 
Just trying to anticipate/predict things that could go wrong.
4) Lenience
Background: These guidelines will be new, so it may take some time for this way of presenting feedback to permeate the 7 Cups forum culture and become the "new normal".
Problem: Well-intentioned community members who have valuable/helpful insights but aren't in the habit of providing feedback in the new way might receive infractions, which would be frustrating and discouraging for them.
Solution: Enforce the new policy in a way that is relatively forgiving and focused primarily on teaching/correcting (i.e. showing people how to best provide feedback).
Recommendation: Have any minor/first offenses only result in a warning where information about the feedback rule is provided and no behavioral points are assigned.
Disclaimer: Again, I feel pretty ignorant about how moderation works, and it's possible that what I'm describing is what's already happening. I defer to other people who know better than me.
Hi @QuietMagic, thank you for your thoughtful response. I can see that you have put a lot of time and consideration into drafting it and that is appreciated. Thank you for bringing these points up! I agree community awareness is important, we will be alerting the post so everyone can be aware of it. Additionally, it does make sense that users putting in an effort to offer conductive feedback using the above-mentioned models should get a response and to ensure that we will be reviving the @7CupsCommunity account. It can be tagged on forum posts that offer feedback. We will be providing more information on the expected response time soon. As for the Behaviour Points System concern, the update is in alignment with it. As for your last point, we are a community that believes in giving people the chance to learn and grow. If you notice, under the Behavior Points System, you get reminders/warnings which are chances to improve your behavior so any new member/listener will get a fair chance to adapt to the guideline.
@Hope
Great, thank you very much!! I really appreciate the kind response, the confirmation that potential problems are being considered/followed up on, and the answers to my questions about the Behavioral Points System. And I'm excited to hear that the community account will be coming back.
Thanks for making the announcement! I wanted to check and see if there are also plans to implement my "Community Awareness" recommendation #2 to update the official rules in a few places. Have provided some additional feedback below arguing for that specific action as being something necessary or helpful (above and beyond just the announcement).
Problem: The new guidelines for forum feedback are not reflected in official rules/documentation.
Impact #1: Users who join 7 Cups in the future after the announcement was made might be unaware of the forum feedback rule.
Impact #2: Users who are aware of the rule change but want to find information about it in the future (either for themselves or to give to other users) might have difficulty finding it if that info isn't in the main places that they'd think to look.
Impact #3: Users might be unsure whether this rule is actually in effect/being enforced if it is not part of the official rules.
Impact #4: Users who get warned or given behavioral points for violating this new guideline might argue that the rules are inconsistent or that they're being treated unfairly if this new guideline isn't part of the official rules.
Solution/Recommendation: Update the official rules that are displayed in a few spots (some examples listed in my earlier post).
Other comments: I'd understand if this isn't an instantaneous change since some time might be needed to locate all of the rules pages, figure out the best way to phrase/incorporate, etc. Just am hoping this is on the to-do list to happen in the near-future.
Hi @QuietMagic thank you for your feedback! After making this forum update post, we updated both of the places where the forum guidelines are listed so people can be aware of our updated guideline. It is already up to date. You can find the onsite rules post here and the forum guidelines listed on the help desk here. So people can easily find this post in the same spot as they find the other forum guidelines. I appreciate your concern for the community.
Thank you for the post announcing the update, @Hope 
I agree with your thoughts, @QuietMagic and I appreciate them! I just wanted to chip in to add the following.
With regards to Point 3, from your post:
A line in the Behaviour Points System post states:
"If you'd like to present a problem that you have encountered, but need help figuring out the solution, you can post a "problem, Solutions needed" post."
In the sense that it allows for feedback that points out problems in a post, without putting the onus of providing a solution on the thread/post author, and allows for community problem-solving.
However, this update states:
Be sure to include solutions along with the feedback you are providing.
-indicating that a post critiquing/raising an issue, should mandatorily involve solutions in the post that is providing feedback (from the post author).
This aspect seemed a little inconsistent to me, but it is also quite possible that I misunderstood the phrase.
I would be grateful if it could be clarified on whether posts providing feedback are mandated to hold solutions, or if they can be posted without them, in a manner-that would encourage the readers to participate and offer possible solutions. Thank you!
Hi @bouncySalamander26, thank you for adding on to the conversation. I really appreciate the efforts you have put into thoughtfully framing and thoroughly supporting your feedback. Yes, they are. The idea of providing the solution encourages you to reflect on what kind of solutions may be out there. The solution does not have to be perfect and you can make a post where you give one solution and still ask for many more from the community. It is okay to not have all the solutions but try to at least add one, simply to put yourself into the mindset of solving the problem. In most cases, you will find yourself coming up with the solutions as you describe the problem. We have a community of creative and smart individuals, we are pleasantly surprised by the thoughtfulness every day (like the feedback Magic and you put out). We have updated the BPS post to reflect the new forum guideline so there is no confusion among our users.
@Hope
Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement and support, Hope!! I am grateful that the feedback has been considered and responded toI truly appreciate it!
I also thank you for providing the rationale behind the phrasing of the rule in the manner that you did-Personally, it clears up a lot of things for me, and I'm thankful that you extrapolated on it in the manner that you did.
The only other aspect I have a question on, is-What counts as criticism?
I understand that question sounds a little amateur-ish, please allow me to illustrate with the help of an example.
Hypothetically, if a member unfortunately had a negative experience across multiple chats, and were using the space in the Diary Entries sub-com to vent about it (the focus of their post being on their experience and feelings-frustration, hurt, etc.)-Would it be construed as criticism of Listener Quality (because they mention that they had negative experiences with multiple listeners) and be deleted, if it did not hold a solution? Or would it be considered an expression of the member's feelings (even seeking support) and stay up?
I would appreciate it if this could be clarified upon, as well!
Hi @bouncySalamander26, thank you for your kind response. Reflecting on your example, if the member is making a post to provide feedback on listener quality then they will need to follow the models mentioned above so we can best understand their constructive feedback. However, I can see where your question is coming from. I think it is helpful to remember the aim of this change, our aim is to keep the forums a supportive and welcoming environment. The member in the situation can ask themself the questions provided in the post (What kind of impact is this going to have on the community? Is it neutral, positive, helpful, does it build people up? Does it create health or compassion?) Without seeing the post (in your example) It is hard for me to give you a yes/no answer. However, I would like to provide the following example to better explain my point:
Example: I had a rough experience in the chat today.
Example: All listeners are bad and no one listens to me.
The first one is welcomed as it is talking about a personal experience, the second one is not as we cannot generalize overall functioning, it does not provide helpful feedback and is not positive. I hope this answers your query.
Hello @Hope ! Firstly, I would like to thank you for responding to my post in such a detailed manner!
I really do understand that it's not possible to give a blanket Yes/No answer from the example that I've provided, and maybe I should have foreseen that while initially posting.
I also understand that the model suggested above (in the initial post) to provide feedback, intrinsically presents a lot more clarity and would be preferred by the person(s) receiving/viewing feedback. However, in the example that I have provided, the intention isn't to provide feedback, it is to vent. [And it can often be hard to stay neutral while venting, despite the thought of the effect that the post could have on the readers. However, for a person to keep in what they would prefer to vent isn't very helpful either-I suppose].
Thank you for the example! It greatly simplifies (atleast, to me) what is acceptable-To follow up on it, would it be okay to say,
"All the listeners I have connected to, through 1-1's, haven't made me feel listened to [and so I have turned here, to the forums.]" ?
As I understand it, that's a personal experience/feeling too.
I believe the response you have provided addresses a large part of my query-and I'm incredibly grateful for it! 
Once again, thank you very much for responding!!!
@Hope thanks for posting these guidelines, Hope! they're very helpful!
@Remény
thanks for this useful information. maybe it was due to my forum post this post? I'm sorry I hurt someone. recognition towards listeners was my goal with my forum post
Hi @Mankka, thank you for your comment. I have not come across your post so I can assure you this isn't as a result of that. I am glad you are trying to show appreciation for fellow listeners, that is a noble cause. If it would make you feel more comfortable, I would be happy to review your post and clear any concerns you may have! You can message me anytime.
@Hope
thank you
@Hope
Thanks for the update
@Hope Thank you for all the information! :)
@Hope Can you please explain the Hypothesis labels more? The information afterwards and the examples used don't match my understanding of what hypotheses are and I'm confused with these labels. To me it seem like these are meant to be solutions?
@7CupsCommunity Please see above.
@Hope
@hopebeyondpain
this is the protocol i was referring to ^^❤️