Ramblings 3

@Iamwhoiamwhoami YYY ❤❤ we are by each others side ❤❤ and we'd be great together right now😂😂😂😂😂😂 none of us is exactly capable to do anything, we'd just have to lie in bed, fight over the new pillows, and listen to me telling you jokes😁 it sounds fun😂😂😂😂😂

@Iamwhoiamwhoami I'm glad your safe from the hurricanes ❤ but keep an eye on the weather, I want you to be safe ❤❤

I think I am going to stop fighting my eyelids and let them stay shut for awhile. ❤️. I love you ❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami do you really think that one day, we will both be well enough to go do fun things? Live our lives?? If we ever can, we could take photos to show each other our adventures 😁

@Iamwhoiamwhoami YYY i'm gonna call it a day, my pain levels are high right now, so bedtime ❤

Have a great day ❤ hugs you tightly ❤ if you can manage to gather your storm thoughts, try write them down ❤ I love you

Trigger warning for possible mention of verbal and physical abuse.

Why can’t I get a grip on anything, ever since that **** surgeons appointment. Even though he won’t be performing the procedure, I am still dreading the surgery. When 95 percent of what he discussed was everything that possibly could go wrong in vivid living color. Fear was what he wanted to impress and he accomplished that in every possible way.

I know that the odds are against negative outcomes for this procedure, however he accomplished to fully override what this struggle has come to and the hopes of getting better in a timeframe of just over an hour of “verbal abuse”. I put those words in quotes because personally I believe what he did was just that and possibly a bit of “physical abuse “ as well. The physical abuse relates to several points of forcing me to physically suffer extreme pain while he watched offering no assistance at all….. asking me to remove my socks which I think took me around 10 minutes to accomplish because bending my legs and bending over creates extreme pain and discomfort, the same for trying to stand up or sit down, trying to get myself pulled up on the exam table and then trying to scoot my fat butt back onto the table , No attempt to help or even offer help at any point. Most people probably wouldn’t think much about what happened. And for me it was a very traumatic experience. Now it’s 6 days later and I’m still mentally screwed up from that hour I spent with him.

Prior to that appointment I would have thought that I have been through too much in my life for a simple surgeon appointment to affect me so deeply and for this long.

I am actually scared of going to this next surgeon appointment.

Sorry, I need to stop for now….❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami I am lost in this new layout😕 either that or my computer is messing up. I'm gonna try figure out what's happening

@Tinywhisper11

I Went to the last page of my writings here and my last writing that ends in sorry I need to stop now is the last thing there

@Iamwhoiamwhoami branch and your message shows 5 hours ago, but I can only see your reply to it???

@Tinywhisper11

❤️❤️Hugs, I love you ❤️❤️