Ramblings 3
Nothing new, same issues . I miss the people here. I have been really struggling the last few months. I have been really trying and it seems like I am going back instead of forward.
@Tinywhisper11
❤️❤️❤️ thinking of you, embracing you in my arms with all the love I can muster, I love you❤️❤️❤️
I need to try to move my printer close to the bed tomorrow, before I get any weaker. Hopefully I don't drop it and destroy it I'm running out of money come I've got bills coming to very shortly. I just gotta try to dig out on my folding cart so I can at least it from the desk to the beside the bed I won't have to carry it that far. I just have to try to make it off shelf on the desk the cart without dropping it. I should see if I've got another Power strip or service protector possibly an 8 foot cord to run underneath the bed when I could have the laptop and printer closer so I don't have to put myself in so much pain going to the desk I can minimize that except for when I run out of paper. Before I do my excessive rambling which I seem to be doing lately with this fatigue and talking out awareness, I'll stop here again.
Not too sure what time it is, or what day it is. I got the printer moved along with my cables for the laptop so it's set up on stand on one side of my bed. Maybe if I get strength and when the sun comes out, I'll try to get the stuff done for my disability insurance and work. That's all for now.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Sounds like a good plan to me😊
Laying here, hardly keep your eyes open yeah I think it's been quite a few hours, at least it seems like it. Well no, it's had to been several hours because I think I've change DVDs multiple times or maybe it's my imagination , who cares. But I can't keep my eyes open I can't sleep. It seems anymore, most of my sleep is when the sun shines. When is dark out I lay here half the time like this . OK I'm done whining for now.
Well even though can barely keep my eyes open or keep my hands raised to hold the phone, I don't think I slept the wink all night. I think I got the paperwork sent to the right people I think. So hopefully that's done for a while be nice to my disability got approved so I can get a few dollars in my account Cover the next couple months.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami Is your doctor aware of your growing weakness and fatigue? I guess I'm just concerned that there's more going on then anyone is aware of. I know meds will make you sleepy and groggy.
@mytwistedsoul
Close have the doctors aware of the weakness and fatigue. She put in for referral for some outside company that Will do an in-home consultation for physical therapy and possibly other things whatever that is. I got text message from him I think early last week and I haven't heard from him since they were supposed to call me and set up an appointment and I haven't heard heard from. It's basically the fact I have been bedridden for what three months now not working not being able to do a whole lot anything it's gonna be four months Plus before I get surgery ., my body is used to a whole lot more movement than what than given it. I'm sure the depression ain't helping a whole lot or anything either but, it is what it is.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I should have realized that being bedridden as you have that naturally there would be weakness. The in home consultation is the people you weren't looking forward to having in your home? Do you think that maybe you could have told them not to come or that maybe they called and you told them you're not interested and simply don't remember? I hope it's not rude or inconsiderate to ask that. I apologize Iam I haven't been paying attention to much outside of my own world.
@mytwistedsoul
Please don't feel you have to apologize to me, I think most everybody here is dealing with their own lives. You have a lot on your plate as well. I just feel lucky that you are able to check in on me from time to time.
Yes, the in-home consultation is the people I wasn't looking forward to having in my home. I don't like anybody in my home. They left me a message, I think it was early last week that they were going to contact me for the in-home consultation, some kind of interview process. And I hadn't heard from them. But a little better ago, I got a message from somebody else there at that company, that shared their contact info, what's it called? The contact card, something I'd add to my contacts. But it was from somebody stating that they would be working with me for physical therapy. But I haven't done the interview process yet.
And to be honest, I'm not too sure what is to be gained from doing physical therapy right now. It's another month to surgery, and due to the issue in my spine, movement is going to be extremely limited. I know I should just, get over it so to speak. And just let them in with no hesitation, I know they only here to help me. My issues and my anxieties, my experiences with people, are so rooted in me the third is who I am. I know I need help, I want help, but my mental issues anxieties etc. Are fighting me every step of the way.
Imagine that, I rambled again. It's even worse now that I'm using this voice thingy this is voice dictation. Trying to keep the phone Close to my mouth because I'm too weak to raise my voice, and my eyes are mainly closed so I don't catch all the mistakes from the thing not reading my voice right.
With me, I don't think there's any question you could ask me that I would consider rude. Because I know that you ask and/or say the things you do to me out of love, kindness, caring, and concern. And probably 25 other descriptive words to cover that as well, and as much as I would like to list them too tired to Think of them.
I do owe you an apology though, I'm so wrapped up in my issues. And you and all the others come here and support me, reach out with your messages to me including comments, suggestions, questions and like. Yeah I don't reach out to you in the same manner. So even though I am wrapped up on my own misery, I do hope did you find what you're looking for and that whatever struggles you may have magically disappear and happiness fills your heart. I'm not sure if I conveyed what I was thinking with those words but hopefully you get there just what I was trying to say. Thank you for being my friend❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I apologize for my delayed reply Iam. I've been having Internet issues for the past week. Its still having issues but there's nothing I can do about it right now.
@Tinywhisper11
My phone kept dinging does somebody use voting several of my messages. Cut myself focused after Quick look is it really you? How are you question I have been really worried about you.
❤️❤️Hugging you so snuggly that I don't want to let go. I love you❤️❤️
I'm sorry for the possible confusing wording. I have been using this voice thingy, Voice dictation thing. Where I just hold the phone up and speak and the words supposedly populate on the screen. But I am weak I can barely hold the phone up and my voice is not very loud , so I'm sure that's all of my sentences probably don't make any sense.
None of that matters right now, are you doing any better, untruly how are you?
@Iamwhoiamwhoami 🙂 yep! It's really me ❤❤ gives you the giantist hug in the whole world ❤ sorry I worried you, but I'm here now ❤
ok well one month till surgery, that's not ideal but pretty good too. Well done for writing back to that person (hopefully sister) did she wrote back?? It will be interesting to find out exactly who that is ❤
gonna stop talking and send you this bigggg hug ❤❤
@Tinywhisper11
That last sentence was supposed to be truly not untruly, cause I really do want to know how you're doing the good, the bad, the ugly every bit of it.
Hopefully I didn't miss any of the Messages you wrote to me. When I can get a little focused back I will try to scroll back see if there's anything I missed.
I hope you're feeling better and things are improving for you.
❤️❤️❤️❤️ hugging you with all the love I can muster and my weak arms, I love you❤️❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I have got voice text, but I prefer writting. But well done for sorting that out for yourself, it should really help you ❤❤ hugs you tightly again
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
@Iamwhoiamwhoami don't go looking back, I only write theese messages, cause I didn't want to confuse you. I was just reading/listening to your words ❤❤
I didn't even realise those spelling mistakes😂😂 I'm ok ❤❤ I've really missed you ❤
@Tinywhisper11 I caught up on all the things you wrote, but I think I hearted to many of your messages, cause it won't let me heart anymore
@Tinywhisper11
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Well here's a few more to add to your supply. You mad me more than those hearts of both things, hearing from you, hopefully you are feeling better as well, but hearing from you also means more to me than any heart, vote thing. I don't wanna be rude but I am really weak and I will come back here later.
@Tinywhisper11
The letter that I sent do that person, possibly my sister, was sent using snail mail. They probably won't receive it until next week. I'm not sure that they are going to respond, and I did strongly recommend they did not respond. However that is our choice in the matter what I tried to tell myself, if they do respond, I will probably read it against my better judgment. I'm really struggling right now I was focusing trying to hold this phone up so I will leave that as it is for now. Hearing from you give me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.❤️💤