Hi I’m new here

I'm sorry for all the stress your under. I personally haven't been in your exact situation but I can relate to the depression part. My story is long and traumatic but I do know that therapy has been instrumental in moving forward and getting to a better frame of mind. It's taken a few years but it is working. 7 cups has been super supportive and I have 2 listeners that help me when I'm in between therapy sessions ,,, ones a man ones a woman. I like the different perspectives. Therapy taught me to put myself first so I can help others in my circle/ family. You can't help anyone if you don't feel well mind or body. I think us mom's always sacrafice way more than we should and we stop caring for ourselves. I'm over 50 with 2 grown kids ...I started working out, going to regular Dr appts, seeing therapist weekly, journaling all the good things about myself and my life, and reading alot. Doing little things that made me happy like cooking something special I like or getting myself flowers or having a spa visit. Things I never did for myself. These actions made me feel better about myself and I'm not completely well but I'm going in the right direction. I hope some of my post helps you in some way. Best always ABB💜

Thanks for sharing your feelings! I’m a newbie on here and I am just trying to navigate through and I stumbled upon your introduction. I can somewhat relate to how you feel. I’m in my 40’s as well and I have 2 grown children. One is my daughter and the other is my stepdaughter. Neither one of them live at home anymore. It’s just my husband and I and two fur babies. My husband is a good guy. But he just doesn’t pay attention to me. I have been so lonely. It is starting to take an emotional toll on me. Sometimes tears just fall from my eyes and I am not even thinking about anything in particular or at least I don’t think I am. It’s become more frequent in the last few months. I know lots of people but I don’t have many friends to chat with or confide in or even call up and talk to. Sometimes I try to see how long I can go without talking when I am home just to see if he even realizes I have been so quiet or silent. I work full time in the medical field so even though some days I may be extremely busy at work, I actually enjoy it because I socialize a lot with patients especially the elderly ones who seem to also be looking for some type of human interaction. Sometimes I leave work even later than normal because I know when I come home I won’t be talking or socializing. I know my fur babies love me though.♥️ That actually felt good to get that off my chest. Thanks again for sharing your story!

Oh and I am female!👩🏻

@amiableblackberry92

Thank you so much for your reply to my post. I also have a counselor that i see every two weeks of course she is talking to me cheering me up to keep going, but I just talk and talk and I feel like I don’t go anywhere. Sure it does help me when I talk to her but after I leave her office I go back to my old self again depress and having a hard time with my daily routines. I also see a psychiatrist she does prescribe me medication to help me with my anxiety and moods also to help me sleep, but I feel not even the medications are working for me at this point. I’m so down and low on energy not even wanting to get out of bed I even lost interest on the things I just to enjoy before. I don’t know what is going on with me before I was a happy person that use to enjoy life I loved to go out have some fun and now I’m in a dark hole that I feel I’m trap. I blame my partner that I’m this way because he drinks daily and he’s drinking has made me lose my own self. He drinks every day I’m still with him because I want our relationship to work, but if he doesn’t want to receive the help then what can I do. I also do journaling actually I love to do that every night sure it does help me a bit to get my things out but then the next following day I’m depress all over again. I have told my counselor what might be the problem because I been with her since 2018 and I don’t see any improvement. I’m to the point that I don’t want to talk to anyone I have a sister my age that she does call me and I just don’t want to pick up the phone at all. I feel so sad avoiding my sister but I think it’s my depression mostly than my anxiety because their is days that are harder than others but then again I think about my 4 wonderful children that are my motivation and thanks to them I was able to be a mom. Let me ask you this how long did it took you to make you feel like your own self again? Because for me it’s already 3 years and I see nothing changing, it’s slowly consuming me from the inside I know that maybe you don’t want to share your story but I really hope you do maybe we can still help one another. I do happen to have one listener that is there for me but not as much as I want him to. I try to connect with a female listener instead but all I get is males. How hard it is to move forward living like this :( thanks again for your posting it really help to feel that I’m not alone.

Hello @creativefriend8625,

Thanks so much for replying to my post. I’m happy to hear from at least 2 people on here that are going through similar things that I’m going through now. I’m so glad that you are working in the medical field and you are able to interact with people at some point, but not me. I just to have a job that I was able to interact with people like that to. But do to my medical issues I had to quit so now I’m a home stay mom that has to be home do lots of duties trust me I’m to the point that I want to pull my own hairs out. My partner is the one working now but he doesn’t help me with things around the house our pays attention to me either, like I said he is always drinking daily and he chooses that over me and he’s girls. It’s just sad having a family a partner and feeling like you are more lonely than ever I get what you are saying I don’t have friends close to me the one I had before she passed away a year ago and she just to be my best friend I miss her so much. :( and I know that it’s really hard to find friends now a days that can connect with you but I really hope I can because that way I can feel a little bit better. I’m glad that you at least have your fur-babies to go home to I know it’s not the same as a person, but a pet is like a family member and they are more loyal and loving than a person could be. I wish I could have a fur-baby to, but the way I’m feeling I don’t even think I will pay attention to it. But I do love pets I use to have a shih tzu and it broke my heart because one of my aunts gave 2 of them away when I trusted her to take care of them and I was not able to. I’m so low on energy right now I don’t feel like doing anything I also have a hard time going to sleep at night because I have a lot on my mind since I’m a worry person. My right arm hurts all the time at night time not sure why so that keeps me up to I just think it’s my high blood pressure that is keeping me awake. Thanks again for your reply it made my day I really hope that I can meet some people on here just to talk and get things out of my chest I think it will help most of us.

@Lasweetbaby34 we are here for you, anytime you wanna talk you can message. i'll try my best to understand your feelings.

@altruistic8155,

Hello thank you so much will do. I don’t know how to connect with you guys but I will try to figure it out.. :)

@amiableblackberry92,

Omg I’m so sorry to hear this my heart breaks for you. Being unloved and abusive since a kid is very traumatic I went through the same thing you did. We might have similarities which is sad and it marked us for life. I was also abusive since I was 8 years old up till I was 20 years old. You can’t believe how horrible that was being a child and going through that especially when it was one of your family members is even worse. Ever since that happen to me I was never the same and I still I’m not maybe that is the reason I’m un happy now, because what I also went though one i was a child. I didn’t receive love from my parents either I was always alone and quiet after this. My parents were always strict with me and never knew why I was always quiet and always writing in my journals. Maybe that is the reason I cannot be happy with my partner either, but he’s problem is the drinking. Thanks so much for the info on the alcoholic program I didn’t know that everyone could attend to it. I thought it was only the person that consumed it which is vert stressful and overwhelming living with a person like this. :(

I’m always sad depress and I tell my husband quit drinking lets go out do something fun but he’s always drunk so maybe seeing him like this every day is making me low and not interested on doing anything. I really want to stay alone and maybe consider living only with my kids, but my older ones which are boys are already independent and i don’t want to ruin their life’s with mine so I just want to stay away and be miserable. That is good that you at least have a best friend and you might be able to talk to her, but not me I have no one in particular sure I have my sister she is almost the same age as me just a year younger, but she is always busy with her little ones, so I don’t want to bother her with my problems. She does try to call me at times, but all I do is reject her calls don’t want to talk to anyone right now and it’s making me be apart from my while family. I have my girls that are ages 14, and 12 and i try to talk to them to see if they can hear me out but they just scream at me and say leave me alone mom I don’t want to talk to you right now, so they go back to their phones.

I just see that all they do is be on their phones all day and they don’t care about anyone else but themselves, so I try to be a good mom to my kids but since all of them are teenagers they don’t want to be with mom anymore all they want is be with friends and that is it making them happy. Sure they want mom to be there for them when they really need something but after that mom i don’t need you go away :( trust me I do the same thing you do try to give my own kids the love and attention my own parents didn’t give me as a was a child. But my own kids don’t see that they don’t know how hard it is being a mom especially when their own mom is not doing well and tries very hard to be there for all of them when they need me. Sometimes i feel like giving up and just let them do their own thing alone and not even be there, but i consider and say I cannot do that they are my kids and just be there anyways. I wish I was as tuff as you because for me you are tuff by getting at least better in years, for me is not ok I’m empty from the inside it’s like i even hate myself when i look at the mirror.

And wonder why I’m here but then I try to distract myself with either listen to music or writing in my journal which that is also a good therapy for me to. But after I don’t do all that it comes to a complete sadness and i just start crying for no reason and i even scream in the top of my lungs and say enough!!!! Trust me everything I’m telling you I tell my therapist but i just see no improvement at all I just talk and talk and they never do anything. I just don’t know what else to do, this why I’m here but its really hard to talk to people here i know we have busy life’s i do to with being a mom but I still manage to do time for everything not sure how i do it, but i do it. That is the reason why my anxiety is out of control sometimes i don’t even concentrate or forget things when people are even talking to me is like I’m not there I’m in thin air somewhere spacing out. Does all this happen to you at all if it does how do you manage it even though you try to do everything to distract yourself?

@amiableblackberry92,

Thank so much for your replies, you have been one of the first person that has reply to my posting and the only I’m actually posting back and forth. I was wondering why we can’t private message each other instead of doing it through posting. And i was told you can only private message someone when you become a listener. Which I’m like what? I actually thought everyone could do it but i guess not. Yes your postings have been helpful because you are giving me tips on how you are doing better and what works best for you, so i appreciated so much. For me I’m trying very hard to not give up and even though I might be having a hard time right now I’m sure one day I’m going to be fine I hope so. Yeah I hope one day my girls realize that they are doing wrong i do have older boys one of them is a bit understanding with me, but hardly even talks to me. Sure he does call me once and a while through face-time which is great but I wish he could do it more often but I know he has a family to, so I don’t bug him so much. As I’m writing you now I feel like I don’t even have the energy to move forward, I think its my diabetes, high blood, and depression all together. Thanks again for your replies and I hope you don’t become a stranger and let me know once in a while how you are doing.

@amiabeblackberry92,

yes you might be right that I have to take care of my health more than anything. In order to be fine for others you need to be better yourself. But I’m even having a hard time with taking care of my own health. I do get medications lots of them, but I feel like a lot of them are not even doing anything for me. So I just stop taking them and I think that is the reason why I feel the way I feel. I also feel like my Dr doesn’t even care or pay attention to my specific needs, all she does is rush through everything, and say here you go I’m going to prescribe you a new medication.

without even wondering what is going on, and could it be the medicine that is giving me side effects and making things worse who knows. I feel like not even my counselor our my psychiatrist are doing any better for me, if they really where why do I feel the way I do now. Trust me I really want to feel better to, I also want to see my grandkids from my kids. I’m already a grandma of one sweet little girl of one of my boys. But not even knowing that I have family changes anything. I’m thinking the house fire that I had back in 2918 left me traumatize which isn’t good.

im happy that you are feeling better now and volunteering for organizations is good, I really hope that I’m able to do the same. Look it’s been 3 years of all this and it’s not getting any better, and even thinking it’s my husband the one that is putting all this pressure and sadness in my life. I just wished I had a nice guy like you do. I think things will be so much earlier for me I do want to get better, and I want to put my health first more than anything, but I’m just saying is it worth it? Is their anything that I need to change to feel better? I ask all this questions over and over and never come to an answer.