what's the argument against 'it could be worse' ?
seems as tho its a dismissal of one's own feelings / things you care about. for example, you are going thru a hard time, but you get by by telling yourself 'it could be worse' and you think of awful things that people have gone thru, but you have been fortunate enough to not have experienced.
thoughts ?
It could be worse but suffering isn't a competition and I deserve support regardless.
PLEASE TELL THIS TO MY MOM
This. 1000000%. Suffering isn't a competition, and pain demands to be felt.
@YourKnight I do that, something minor happens and my brain just goes to showing gratitude for it not being something worse ^^ I like that honestly, helps me manage my reactions.
I don't do that for my feelings, it could be worse but I'm allowed to feel the way the I do. Opposing it causes a lot of frustration and feeling of guilt. Can't compare struggles or the pain, everyone's fighting their own battle with the energy and resources they have.
@BlueDarkAurora I completely agree, saying there someone worse off can give us the boost we desperately need. But yes your allowed to feel, and have your feelings validated. But I think it's a great saying, it helps me through daily struggle s ❤
@Tinywhisper11 you're the toughest fighter*-* <3 and the kindest soul <3 I have a lot of admiration for you ^-^
@BlueDarkAurora awww I love you too ❤❤
@YourKnight It can always be worse but how is that relevant to easing any suffering at all?
I agree. In fact, it invalidates your experience with it. People have the right to feel a certain way about things. Part of healing from something involves processing the emotions of it.
Totally agree. You're entitled to feel the way you do and no pain is little or less important and "could be worse'' invalidates all of that.
@YourKnight “It could be worse,” is probably not a great response to ourselves or others in distress. At the moment I can’t think of a single example of how it might make myself or someone else feel better. But I can certainly think of situations where it would be totally inappropriate.
Oh, wait! I just thought of one exception and here it is: Sorry if my reply to your post isn’t satisfying, but it could be worse.
@PineTreeTree precisely it can be used in lots of situations ❤
@YourKnight it actually really does help me, to think there's always someone worse off. It just gives you a little courage boost to know you can get through this. I believe it also helps to say /or realise there's always someone who's going to do that better than you, it just a little drive to either push yourself harder, or instead do it just for the joy of doing it ❤❤
I wonder if any of this makes sense😕
@Tinywhisper11what you are saying does make sense (: I think it is a little boost when one is struggling, and it can be a good distraction. but ultimately there is something emotional that needs dealt with, but also hard when a person feels stuck
@YourKnight ❤❤❤ I hope you are ok?
@YourKnight I could be in worse situations but that doesn't what I feel right now can be invalidated. Better or worse is determined by personal experiences and just because somebody has it worse off doesn't mean my situation can be considered as something not important enough to pay heed to. Being human, I deserve support just like the person next to me.
It is true that could be worse, but it's wrong put this like an argument, think, why when you use "it could be worse" you wouldn't think like that? Even if it's true? Because it's like you are saying "since it could be worse I am not allowed to feel bad for it" but why would you think that? Because it is unrespectfull for those people who need to complain most? That's nonsense, cause if I have my harm broken it is not unrespectful for the guy with two broken leg if I go to the hospital :/ Often when people worried too much about having this "it could be worse" in mind, it is because they have met people who have belittled their problems, and now you believe that you do not have the right to feel your emotions (which are legitimate and physically impossible to extinguish in a healthy subject) but remember that the people you have met who have put this idea in your head have only done so because they did not have the voluntary or strength to help you, and they wanted to impose their priority, many people behave in this way and it is not a question of the seriousness of the problems, but of their wrong attitude (you find people like this who have important problems but also who have simpler problems)
Sorry is very long! The point is that your emotion are valid ever! Is not a competition and you are not stolen anything from anyone asking for help about it!
@YourKnight
Hmmm.. I'm guilty of saying this to myself, too. For me the argument against is when I came to the realization that I would never say that to someone else struggling or going through a rough patch because to each person their problem is big and only they feel the depth/ intensity in terms of how hurt they are.
Also, it never really gave me the chance to process and actually deal with the problem at hand. True, someone else has it worse but how is that going to actually solve the problem I was facing.. not sure if that makes sense 😅 Sort of like I have a scratch on my arm but if I don't tend to it/ put a band-aid and think there are so many people who have lost an arm/ leg, etc and they have it worse... that's not going to heal my wound... the same goes for emotional/ psychological healing as well
