Feeling lonely

@sympatheticPond9999 If we disregard the marriage part - this is me! You are not alone. And while talking to my friends, I see that even people with families and huge group of friends feel lonely, even desperate. 

I hear you! While I’m 24 and never been married, I relate to most of what you said. You definitely aren't alone in these feelings though I’m sorry you’re still experiencing it.

In terms of friends, I think I have one friend and even then I’m not her first choice. It used to bother me but now I let it be and we hang out maybe once every two months.

I’ve never commented on here before, and I’m not sure if we are allowed to give suggestions, but participating in community events can be helpful. This is coming from an introvert by the way haha- I love drawing and I love nature. I found community groups that got together once a week that were filled with others who had similar interests to me. While I may not have made a lot of friends from the groups, I still socialize and distract myself once a week and that’s enough for me. Maybe it could help? Best of luck to you!! I feel your pain.

Besides the marriage and the age (I'm 28) I get it.

But I will be very honest, I happened to be on a room with people and feel lonely. It's hard to make good friendships, and then it's also hard to find your group of people that will have the conversations that will stimulate you.

My therapist recommend me engage on activities with other people, yoga, pilates, volunteer, etc. So I can expand my acquaintances. We will start there and see where it takes.

No pressure.

@sympatheticPond9999

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. It's completely understandable that you're feeling lonely and struggling to connect with others after a difficult past. It's not just you, and there are many people who face similar challenges.

It's normal to take time to get to know someone and build trust. Not everyone is cut out for instant friendships or relationships. And it's okay that you're not an extrovert; introverts can be incredibly wise and perceptive.

Asfor finding someone who can be a partner, it's understandable that you're hesitant due to past trauma. Trust does take time to rebuild, but it's not impossible. You should consider seeking support groups where you can connect with others who have gone through similar experiences

It's not easy not having social support. I've been single for about 4 years now. Previous relationship was toxic. It's hard to trust people when you've been conditioned not to. I don't have many close relationships either. It's good that you have your mom. Sometimes I open up to my mom but I don't anymore because she doesn't really offer advice or have an opinion besides go to church and get closer to God like im not good enough as I am and religion is all you need.

If you ever need someone to share yourself, feel free to text me

@sympatheticPond9999 All of us goes through the same problems once in a while in lifetime. Do not lose hope on life.

@sympatheticPond9999

Absolutely in the same boat. 

@sympatheticPond9999

Hi,

It's definitely not just you. 

Loneliness is such a strange thing and it's such a prevalent problem in today's day and age. I will say that feeling lonely doesn’t necessarily mean being alone. I’ve seen lots of people who are in relationships, but still say they're lonely because they don’t feel heard or understood by the people in their lives. Then there are some single people that think a relationship will make them less lonely and therefore happy, which is really the case.

It's almost like at its route, a part of it is our thoughts.

Just wanted to say, your not alone!

I, too often feel lonely and like people in general only want to be friends with me to get as much as they can from me. I do understand the trauma that an unhealthy marriage can cause a person as I have been married 3 times myself( divorced twice and widowed once). The depression caused by loss is a huge mountain to over come. I find that only people who have walked a distance molar path as I have can truly understand the scope of emotional tollercoaster one rides in the aftermath of that trauma. First of all, you have every right to feel overwhelmed by your situation. I give you credit for being able to express and recognize the details of your life and accept responsibility for your own feelings AND for taking action by joining an online resource like 7cups too seek help. Women are much stronger than the general public gives credit for being. Based on what you have already expressed, I see an emotionally intelligent woman who can probably navigate through her challenges. Would you consider connecting with a professional therapist who can assist you in putting together a solid step-by/step action plan to overcome the things you are facing so that you do not have to face them alone? It would be best to discuss options with an unbiased person who is not affected by any decisions or choices that you make for yourself. I have found that when I turn to family members for support and to discuss feelings they are too invested in their own needs and feelings to give me positive action steps to take to move forward through the issues. I think with a little guidance, you could feel better very soon. I see that you are intelligent and a person of action. I wish you much success and happiness in overcoming your loneliness. A final thought: when I felt loneliness, I chose to volunteer at my local hospital for 1 hour a week and that helped my self esteem greatly after having been devalued by my last ex-husband. People at the hospital showed my I was valued and they appreciated me for my talents and living heart of service. Maybe you could try that too?