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Feeling lonely

sympatheticPond9999 September 18th

Hi


I am a 35 year old woman, divorced 10 years back and still single. I had a very bad marriage life which I got into without choice and came out of it with a long struggle. I didn't have any emotional family support except with my mom who feels guilty and sorry for me. But she is my only support system. All the so called friends I had all moved on with their and got busy. I am stuck here and feeling very lonely.


I don't make new friends that easily. I am not a complete introvert but I take a lot of time to get to know someone and making friends. It doesn't work out that easily. And I didn't meet anyone who I can think of as a partner as well. I have been traumatized a lot in my past marriage that I feel very insecure and can't bring myself to trust anyone.


I am good at my professional life and I am called by others as a strong person. But only I know how much I am struggling inside and making myself to be strong.


Is it just me or are there people out there who face similar challenges as me? I just don't want to be lonely, want to have good friends, people who are not there just to gain something out from me.

55
Gloria0923 September 21st

@sympatheticPond9999 It's difficult to trust again. Healing is a process. Don't be hard on yourself.


1 reply
SkyRanchDragonfruit24 September 22nd

@Gloria0923 I been there life is not what it seems people are too busy


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humie September 21st

Hi dear am a 27 year old feeling lonely too left my 5year relationship ship 2 years ago because it was soo toxic and physical. Ok don’t am hating this boring life and here to make some new friends if anyone wants to

sondererrSagee September 21st

I am sorry to hear about your marriage life.

Well, we always find ourselves, or sometimes we put ourselves In difficult situations, but there is always a way where we can do something to make things better. (I have seen)


The phases in life for most of them are like

  1. When we are born, it’s parents
  2. When we go to school and college, it’s friends and education.
  3. When we are in mid-20's, it’s job and relationship
  4. Late 20’s marriage 
  5. Kids 

When you're in the 5th phase, it’s too difficult to get some good friends where people are selfish and busy with their own lives and problems. 


Life is sometimes very simple we make it complicated with emotions and attachments, if things are not going well, then we need to understand the basic pattern of life. It will change the way we see things and will give you better wider perspective towards life. 

 

Some people have everything but still prefer to stay alone and single. What makes what makes us different from others is our personality and our thoughts. 

 

Either accept the situation and change your perspective towards life or find the solution or some alternative don’t stick the same problem for long time. It will damage and you’ll lose your true self which is very beautiful.


Believe, Hope and Love.

sadandlonely42 September 22nd

@sympatheticPond9999 unlike you i am in a marriage and i feel so lonely and unappreciated, unseen and unacknowledged it has become overwhelming. my religion does not believe in divorce and my family sees my husband as the best in the world because he remained with me through a health crisis. little do they know that he is no support emotionally and i feel like no one would understand if i tell them that i am so unhappy and feeling trapped in a marriage where i am alone with my feelings. my husband doesn't think that talking about feelings is important so attempts at communication is fruitless. i throw myself into my work so i can delay coming home but that just makes me tired along with being sad and lonely. the few friends we have are shared so i can't speak to them and just avoid sharing making me even more alone with my distress. 

1 reply
sympatheticPond9999 OP September 22nd

I am so sorry to hear this. But I strongly believe that you should express your feelings to your husband and family whether they will understand or not. Keeping within yourself will only get overwhelming for you and is not good for your health. When I was in my relationship, I had similar and more problems with the in-laws. I used to be mentally tortured on every single thing. But I never stopped talking back. When I reached the saturation point after fighting back a lot, I decided that it's not worth my time and effort. So you need to express what you feel no matter what. If you don't speak for yourself, then no one will. I don't understand why divorce is not believed in your religion but atleast fight for yourself and see if you can change the situation. Though I feel lonely sometimes today, I never once regretted making the decision to come out of the marriage. Your self respect is very important and no one should go through a life losing that. Wish you to become strong and stand up for yourself !

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NotMeButYou September 22nd

@sympatheticPond9999 Hey feel free to talk to me if you ever face any issues. I will surely help you out. 

brightOne90 September 22nd

I too in the same situation. I’m 34 years old and 8 years of abuse for me. 3 daughters and 3 Maltipoo’s, that’s all I have. If you ever need someone to talk to don’t hesitate to reach out.

Wpdillon September 22nd

Sorry you are going through so much. I am getting out of a toxic marriage, and it ended up isolating me. It was difficult to make friends while married to this person, plus I have kids. I didn't realize just how alone I was until the marriage ended.


I am in my late 30s, and outside of if work, I really don't have many people to talk to. You aren't alone in this. I have slowly started reconnecting with old friends. I made a few new friends at work too.


diligentPear2453 September 22nd

this is so relatable. I’m 36 and i am married but i find it so hard as an adult to find meaningful friendships


FeureVox September 22nd

Dear @sympatheticPond9999

I'm really sorry to hear about the tough time you've been having. It sounds like you've been through a lot and it's totally understandable that you're feeling lonely and finding it hard to trust people. It takes a lot of courage to open up about these things, so I really admire your strength.

I want you to know that you're definitely not alone in feeling this way. Many people out there struggle with similar challenges, and it's okay to feel the way you do. Unfortunately, everyone is too busy in their life and responsibilities. Nobody has time to listen to someone, particularly a broken person.

Building new friendships can be hard, especially after going through what you've been through. It's important to take your time and be patient with yourself. I don't know whether you are a single mom or not, but your child(ren) can be your best companions.

Professional life is a fabricated life, that is superficial, and no matter how your colleagues look upon you. They would only be there, until you are helpful to them. That's a cruel reality, which we have to live with.

I don't know, if I should ask this, but why you didn't remarry?

If you ever need someone to talk to, we're here for you. You deserve to have good friends and people who genuinely care about you. Don't give up hope, and remember that it's okay to lean on your mom for support.

You're stronger than you think, and things will get better with time.

SkyRanchDragonfruit24 September 22nd

I feel the same I feel left out these days