Feeling lonely
Hi
I am a 35 year old woman, divorced 10 years back and still single. I had a very bad marriage life which I got into without choice and came out of it with a long struggle. I didn't have any emotional family support except with my mom who feels guilty and sorry for me. But she is my only support system. All the so called friends I had all moved on with their and got busy. I am stuck here and feeling very lonely.
I don't make new friends that easily. I am not a complete introvert but I take a lot of time to get to know someone and making friends. It doesn't work out that easily. And I didn't meet anyone who I can think of as a partner as well. I have been traumatized a lot in my past marriage that I feel very insecure and can't bring myself to trust anyone.
I am good at my professional life and I am called by others as a strong person. But only I know how much I am struggling inside and making myself to be strong.
Is it just me or are there people out there who face similar challenges as me? I just don't want to be lonely, want to have good friends, people who are not there just to gain something out from me.
@sympatheticPond9999 Im on the same page
@SkyRanchDragonfruit24 I just don't have nobody to talk too its too much to ask
@sympatheticPond9999
Hi! :-) From my experience it is crucial to leave my past wrong choices where they belong - in the past. To not expect from a new partner the misbehaviours of the past ones. And to not compare a new partner with a past partner in a critical way. Because this is the way innocent people might get hurt.
I've got a thought that being an introvert may be challenging. I am partially introvert, but mostly extravert - it changes from day to day. My colleague from a school, who has declared she was an introvert, sends me messages sometimes. I think she may like me a little. When she asks me how am I doing, I tell her. But when I ask the same question to her, usually it is silence. I offered her a cup of coffee or going for a walk together, but it was all ignored. I believe she is a nice, intelligent person - but I completely do not see myself in such a relationship. This is an extravert's perspective.
I guess to have friends I have to expose myself a little. My weaknesses, my being far from perfect, my fears. Exposing your thoughts and feelings in front of other people takes some strength. So, I imagine anything that could make you stronger (in an emotional, not professional way) could be beneficial to you.
I believe you've still got a lot of good life to live :-)
Thank you for sharing!
@sympatheticPond9999 I forgot sharing my experience of being a perfectionist at work. It varied between companies. In majority of them my serious attitude to job made my co-workers liked me, because they knew they could always count on support. I made friends with some of them. By some other people I guess I was regarded a harmless weirdo, over-responsible and boring. Also being neither an avid drinker, nor a good dancer, somehow isolated from social life.
@sympatheticPond9999 I feel this it’s hard been there myself
@sympatheticPond9999 Hi there. I turn 30 on Sunday. Sounds like we've had similar experiences. If you ever need to chat I'm here :)
@sympatheticPond9999 🫂 i completely understand. 🫂 🫂
Hey...I understand ur situation... don't worry
You're definitely not alone. Even with friends, life gets in the way and it's difficult to maintain a social life.
Personally, I find it difficult to have a normal romantic life caring for my daughter who has Asd. Makes it difficult, as I don't introduce anyone to her unless it's the long Hall. And often this proves impossible as people aren't so understanding.
Thanks for sharing your story. It's very brave of you.
@sympatheticPond9999
Hello, besides the Marriage part, I can relate to what you feel, so much
over 34 years of my life, I always felt that I'm lonely, even with many people are around
You're not alone in this.
Perhaps find some hobbiesâ¤ï¸I've started doing digital art a month ago and I can feel that emotional support it gives me like it's a process of healing myself. Do something you are really passionate about might helpâ¤ï¸All the bestð¥°ð¥°
@sympatheticPond9999
I’m right there with you. Recently got out of a long term relationship and it’s been hard. Trying to find things to do but…hard. I don’t trust easily and it’s hard finding your people. Maybe we can try to be talk and maybe be friends…?
Thank you and sorry you go through the same. Sure we can talk. How do I text you?
Thank you. I don’t even know. I thought there would be a way for us to message each other, but I’m pretty new to this and can’t find anything.
