Is it normal to have suicidal thoughts sometimes but not be suicidal?

For the past 20 years, I've been miserable inside but hide it from family and friends. I often think about ways to kill myself, like jumping right in front of the train or driving off a bridge while I am driving. I know this is crazy but I don't want to be judged for these thoughts. I don't have a question but wanted to get off my chest because I'm tired of holding it in.

All kinds of thoughts that most of us wouldn’t dare express pass through all of us. Suicidal thoughts are no different. When you consider that the only way for you to actually have a thought, is by using a language that was impressed upon you from birth by the culture you live in, the words and their meanings you use to express or translate electrical impulses we’ve termed “thought”, are tools borrowed from society while you’re alive, used merely in the way you were taught to from an age when you were too young to question anything, it makes the idea of thoughts being personal seem a little hollow. It doesn’t always make it feel any less real though. Suicidal thoughts are often an expression of a wish for a splintered part of us that holds a set of value’s and emotional energies to disappear. We’re looking for a way to destroy something we’re feeling because it’s too painful when pushed up against what we think we should be feeling instead. It’s an inner conflict, and where there doesn’t seem to be a way out - both conflicting thought patterns are too heavy with emotion to bear - then sometimes the only way out we can see is to kill the body and off the mind. Addictions and substance abuse are often a milder form of suicide, trying to kill off or suppress certain parts of the body, usually the mind, where the conflict seems most apparent. So these thoughts are more common than we might imagine in more people than we may ever realize. Usually our perception will collapse itself and reform to adapt with circumstances when under a lot of emotional pressure, and we may suddenly or over time see the world very differently, but it takes quite a big push from both sides to drive someone to the actual act of suicide, more often than not it will be a cry for help, nudging at something below the surface which requires attention. It may be worth gently exploring thoughts like this when they arise so they don’t evolve into anything more serious.

Yes! its perfectly normal to have suicidal thoughts sometimes but not be suicidal. Its called being passivley suicidal.

Absolutely. When we are in pain, whether it is physical or emotional, we want the pain to stop. And we have learned that death ends pain. If you know that you are not suicidal but are thinking about suicide, this is a good indication that you need to stop and focus on you. What are you missing from your life? What is causing you this excruciating pain? And how can you help yourself? (Even reaching out for help is a step in helping yourself).

Yes it is absolutely normal to have suicidal thoughts sometimes. But what is important is what decisions you choose to make with that knowledge.

While I do occasionally think of suicide, I'd never thought of actually committing suicide myself. It's like, thinking about dating someone but not actually wanting to date that someone. It's worth a thought, but I'd rather not.

That's completely normal dear!Its normal to have thoughts like..What is I didn't exist..Its normal to think about the worst things..But you should take care to not make it a persistent thought..If at all you have such thoughts..Follow these thoughts with how wonderful you are and you will get through the tough time

Yes! It is possible (and very common) to have suicidal thoughts while not actually being suicidal. For example, a person may have feelings of not wanting to be alive, so maybe they over time have stopped looking both ways before crossing the street. They technically aren't suicidal, but they have just stopped caring about life.

Absolutely, death is a huge part of our existence. It has a big impact on everyone around us even if we'd like to tell ourselves that it wouldn't. It's something that everyone has to face at some point in their life and it's perfectly normal to think about it. However, focusing on it is counter-productive. Make the most out of the moment right now. Make small, deliberate decisions to improve your outlook. Don't wonder what will happen next or stop yourself from experiencing life to worry about the future. You matter right here, right now.