Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

What does it mean to be Queer?

192 Answers
Last Updated: 06/10/2022 at 12:23pm
Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
Ta Tania
5 star rating
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
Profile: Nightwind
Nightwind
November 26th, 2021 5:41am
I think being queer is a very broad thing. Generally, it can mean not straight and/or cis, though. It can mean being outside the norm in those ways, whether it means sexuality wise, or being bi/pan, gay, ace, etc. It can also mean being trans, nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid, intersex, and all other things under the trans umbrella. But I think it can also mean being fluid in all things. Queer is a great term for people who don't want to label themselves more specifically, as far as I've seen. It's saying you generally aren't straight and/or cis. I think it's a great descriptor no matter what other descriptors under the queer umbrella you want to use.
Profile: adoredIcicle46
adoredIcicle46
July 31st, 2016 5:07am
To be queer by definition means to be odd or weird but socially it can mean to be attracted to the opposite sex or anything outside of heterosexual.
Anonymous
July 29th, 2016 11:11pm
It means to not be cisgender and heterosexual simultaneously. Some people think being queer also requires you to be out (like if you're trans, then you can't just pretend to be cis if you pass) and to support the LGBT+ community and have some modicum of pride in your identity.
Profile: sabrinelioness22
sabrinelioness22
February 9th, 2022 7:58pm
Have you heard the term LBGTQIA + it stands for lesbian bisexual gay queer transgender intersex asexual plus the fifty million other genders that exist like fraysexual and demisexual. queer is a term that some of these LBGTQIA+ people use. to describe themself. but this title is a choice. some people don't like it because it was used as a offensive term until relatively recently. IF you want to know what the letters stand for in LBGTQIA+ then here it is L: lesbian or a woman or nonbinary person atracted to women or nonbinary folks B: bisexual somone atracted to people of 2 genders used interchangably with pansexual or atraction to people regardless of gender G: gay a man atracted to other men Q; queer (see obove) T: trans :under this unbrella is transgender, nonbinary demigender genderfluid basicly a person who does not identifi with their gender asigned at birth (like me) I: intersex or born with the sex organs of moltiple sexis A:asexual a unbrella turm for varios types of non or little sexual atraction hope this helps
Profile: BalancED
BalancED
July 15th, 2016 10:45pm
I think of the word Queer as an umbrella term for anybody that identifies as non-heterosexual. I've heard of some people that identify as non-cisgender using the term as well. Some members of the LGBT community don't like or identify with the term Queer, so it's always best to let people label themselves and respect the ways they choose to self identify :)
Profile: SofiaAddilynn
SofiaAddilynn
July 28th, 2016 3:05am
The dictionary defines queer as an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities that are not heterosexual or not cisgender.
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2016 1:28am
Genderqueer: A term which refers to individuals or groups who “queer” or problematize the hegemonic notions of sex, gender and desire in a given society. Genderqueer people possess identities which fall outside of the widely accepted sexual binary (i.e. "men" and "women"). Genderqueer may also refer to people who identify as both transgendered AND queer, i.e. individuals who challenge both gender and sexuality regimes and see gender identity and sexual orientation as overlapping and interconnected.
Anonymous
January 23rd, 2019 6:02pm
To be Queer is to be Queer, It's an umbrella term. It can mean anything, if people can't find a label they go with Queer. Don't call someone Queer unless they identify as it, because someone could take it as an insult if they don't. I identify as Gay, because I'm a men who likes men. But, I'm still technically queer even if I don't identify as it, you can be l, g or b and still use queer. But, if someone has a very specific sexuality queer is the perfect term. If you like nonbinary girls and cis guys, for example, Queer is probably the term for you.
Profile: JaeToday
JaeToday
November 17th, 2019 10:39am
Being queer simply means that you don't follow societal norms, with your gender identity or sexuality. It used to be used as a derogatory term against member of the LGBTQ+ community, but has since been "retaken" by the community. The use of the word Queer by the LGBTQ+ community is often used to show that they don't care if people call them names, and they are proud of who they are. Though it can still be a difficult word to use/hear for some people, it is a word of empowerment for others. If we go back to basics, Queer simply means homosexuality, however it has a much more powerful meaning to so many.
Profile: thebluejay22
thebluejay22
November 8th, 2019 6:32pm
Being queer means being any person in the LQBTQ+ community. You can be gay, lesbian, asexual,trans, or anything from that community and you will be queer.a term predominantly used by the LGBTQ community to stake a contrast from mainstream, heteronormative society.queer is an umbrella term that can be used by anyone under the LGBTQ spectrum. Queer conveys both an orientation and a sense of community. The word queer is sometimes used as a derogatory term but the reclamation of the word is like, ‘This is who I am. We don’t need to be like everyone else; let’s celebrate our differences, and don’t try to put me in any sort of box of who you need me to be because I’ll continuously try to break down the boxes.” It is worth noting that while the word queer is generally celebrated, some LGBTQ folks still prefer to avoid it due to its discriminatory history.
Anonymous
October 26th, 2019 6:27pm
Being queer in my opinion, is anyone who isn’t cisgendered and/or heterosexual, it is anyone who isn’t the average person, who has something different about their sexuality and/or gender. Eg, gay, lesbian, genderqueer, transgender. However some people, particularly the older generation of the lgbtq community may not like being called queer and do not identify with that label which is totally fine, as for years it was used as a slur against our community. So, in short, queer people are anyone that is in the lgbtq community although not everybody identifies with this term, so be respectful of people’s boundaries.
Profile: ekats
ekats
October 17th, 2019 4:43pm
Queer by definition is to be strange or odd, courteous of Google. But in my eyes to be Queer is so much more then that. As a member in the queer community I see it as amazing. It is not strange to me and I get excited when I see someone on the scale. Sure, it is not very seen in my community, some consider it bad, but it is amazing. Queer means to me as confidence. I mean it is hard being different, I know that for a fact and the people in that community can sometimes question even themselves, I know I have. I also see it as strength. I mean you gotta be pretty strong in what you believe in, in order to be you. There is so much more that queer means to me. Queer is stunning and amazing and if you are queer then you are amazing. If you are not and support it, thank you so much, I really appreciate it. Remember this, I would rather be hated for who I am then loved for who I am not, I don't know the author, sorry. You are beautiful and amazing!!
Profile: Fruitbowl95
Fruitbowl95
October 15th, 2019 3:23pm
Do you know the Hufflepuff house from Harry Potter and the Hermes house from Percy Jackson? Being Queer is kind of like being in those two houses. On one hand, you may not know what your identity is yet, but you know you are LGBTQIA+. That is like being in the Hermes house (house of tricksters and travelers) when you first arrive at Camp Half Blood in Percy Jackson. And on the other hand, you may already know you don't quite fit the definitions of any of the other identities and are just sort of your own thing. That is like being in the Hufflepuff house, a house for people who do not quite fit into any of the other houses, at Hogwarts in Harry Potter.
Profile: CherryBlossomListener
CherryBlossomListener
January 8th, 2022 2:32pm
The word queer, is such as huge umbrella term, the word queer to me doesn't have a specific meaning, I mean if you were to look up the word in the dictionary I am sure they would have a definition, but for me, queer is just how I identify, I don't identify with any specific labels, with my gender or my sexuality and romantic preferences, being queer for me is that I am different, I don't like certain people, I like who I like, my gender isn't specific, I feel how I feel, people can identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, non-binary, asexual, anything but the letter q in LGBTQIA+ is there for a reason, for people who don't identify with those other labels, or dont WANT to identify with labels, being queer is being you, and you should always be you.
Profile: EscapingReality1438
EscapingReality1438
January 20th, 2022 1:11pm
I'm queer, and I think that that experience for me has really been about learning to be myself. There is so much that I hide from the world that I'm able to show when I'm around people in the LGBTQ+ community. It really is a community. I can talk to anyone and they know exactly what I'm going through and are able to offer excellent advice. I bonded with some of my best friends through being able to talk to them about whatever I need, and listening in return. They understand. It's called a community for a reason. I think that the queer experience is about learning who you are and how to be yourself.
Profile: Jezbr
Jezbr
October 9th, 2019 5:15am
Queer can mean a whole lot of things to different people, but generally queer being the q in lbgtqi+ has a balance of meaning. When one begins to understand that he/she may not be opposite sex attracted, their process can go a whole myriad of different directions. There's a lot of possible denial. For example 'I can't be different to my community, that will make life hard' So one could try convince oneself to not be anything other than heteronormative. Or sometimes when one decides "ok, I am same sex attracted" it could still not fit exactly right, we could be Bi or even come to the conclusion that we aren't actually attracted to anyone. So that process of figuring out who we are could lead a person to label as queer - "im not sure yet but I am definitely not straight." Another meaning of queer can be how we behave irrelevant of our sexuality. I grew up identifying as straight, but was perfectly happy wearing dresses, having long hair, and behaving in non traditional "man" type ways. It had nothing to do with me feeling like a woman or at that stage being attracted to men or women, i just wasn't concerned with sticking with my cultural gender norms. So i could have been labelled a little bit queer. A little bit off the traditional. So one can behave queer. One could label as queer as being in between understanding and conclusion. Or one could label as queer to announce to others that you dont want to be boxed into any of the other labels.
Anonymous
September 14th, 2019 8:58pm
Queer is an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities who are not heterosexual or cisgender. Originally meaning "strange" or "peculiar", queer came to be used pejoratively against those with same-sex desires or relationships in the late 19th century.The meaning of 'queer' has changed a lot over the past few decades. From being a slur, to being reclaimed by some LGBT people and rejected by others, 'queer' means many different things to many different people. ... Like the word Gay used to mean “happy”, queer used to mean “strange” or “different”. Queer is a word that describes sexual and gender identities other than straight and cisgender. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people may all identify with the word queer.
Profile: ZenIsLife
ZenIsLife
August 14th, 2019 1:07am
While the general definition might include something considered out of the mainstream or odd to the majority, would there really be any definitive answer to that question? Wouldn't everybody, in one way or another, be considered queer or odd by others, at times? ... I'm not so sure there can be one definitive answer to this, as personalities are entirely unique and individual. One person's experience, while similar in some ways to others, cannot possibly be entirely parallel. And would any definition claiming to be as definitive REALLY include all the unique idiosyncrasies that would be all inclusive under the term?
Profile: BraveWings116
BraveWings116
July 31st, 2019 5:40pm
To me, queer is an umbrella term for the LGBTQ+ community. To me, it just means that you fall somewhere on the spectrum of gay, bisexual, pansexual etc. However queer can hold different meanings and connotations for different people. For example, the word queer used to be used as a derogatory slur, like the word 'faggot', because queer also meant 'strange' or 'odd'. However, many in the LGBTQ+ community have now reclaimed the word queer and use it in affection to describe themselves and their LGBTQ+ friends. In fact, some say that the Q in LGBTQ stands for queer, while others say it stands for questioning. Whichever way, queer can mean many things, depending on who you ask, but is generally a term that refers to someone on the LGBTQ spectrum.
Profile: ThymeTraveller
ThymeTraveller
June 6th, 2019 9:20am
To be queer means different things to different people, and it’s okay for it to mean what you need it to—that’s the beauty of it. For me, it means belonging to a community under the reclaimed umbrella term that accepts and celebrates diversity and encourages each of its members to be themselves at the pace that fits them/is safe for them. It’s freedom to express and feel my identity as valid and connect with others who make it safe, as well as a way to signal to those who might need it that I’ll always be that safe space for them too.
Profile: Ency
Ency
May 10th, 2019 11:27pm
Queer is an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities such as gay, trans, nonbinary, pansexual etc. It is considered by some to be offensive as it is a reclaimed slur but most young LGBT people are comfortable with it and it's becoming more and more popular as a catch-all term for anyone who isn't cisgender (the gender they were assigned at birth) and heterosexual (sexually attracted to the opposite gender) and heteroaromatic (romantically attracted to the opposite gender). The word does have a sketchy history though so older folks sometimes are uncomfortable with it so just be careful where you use it. Hope this helps, Ency.
Profile: Nkav
Nkav
April 10th, 2019 6:57pm
All Queer means is that you are not a heterosexual (straight) cisgender (your gender identity matches the one you were assigned at birth). Like "gay", Queer was originally used as an insult, but was taken over by the LGBTQIA+ community. It's actually what the Q in LGBTQIA+ stands for. Genderqueer is another common term. It basically means the same thing as non-binary. Genderqueer people do not consider themselves male or female, but rather neither, both, or a combination of the two. This is a simplification of the Genderqueer community. There is a lot of information and facts about what it means to be nonbinary or genderqueer, and I don't have time to explain them all. If you want to know more, a quick google search will turn up a lot of good information. I hope I was able to help answer your question!
Profile: Diya83
Diya83
July 26th, 2018 5:59pm
It means that you’re part of the LGBT+. You could be gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, pansexual, asexual, etc
Profile: eximsam19
eximsam19
August 8th, 2018 8:57pm
For me, Queer means whatever I feel like on that particular day! One of the benefits of a catch-all term like "Queer" as opposed to "Bisexual" or "Gay", or even "Homosexual" is that it allows me the chance to continue to evolve without having to continually change how I label my sexuality.
Profile: LunarLemon8
LunarLemon8
August 1st, 2018 12:11pm
Being queer is when you're not cis-gender or straight or hetero-romantic. So to say it easy: being queer is the opposite of being straight, "non-normative" as wikipedia would say. So being queer means that you're part of the lgbtq+ specturm
Profile: Opalescentrose
Opalescentrose
July 29th, 2018 11:51pm
If feel queer is an umbrella term used to describe sexual and gender identities "outside of the norm" by society's standards (heterosexual/heteroromantic, cisgender). So as long as you are not all of these you are queer. A cis lesbian would be just as queer as a trans lesbian, for example, since they are out of the cishet category
Profile: musicalHope13
musicalHope13
July 27th, 2018 5:13am
To be queer means that you're not cisgender and heterosexual. Whether that means you're a lesbian, gay, bi, pan, ace, aro, an enby, or anything in between, you're queer, just because you're not cishet.
Anonymous
July 26th, 2018 12:21am
To be queer means to be powerful. I am pansexual, and I have heard “queer” as an insult many times. The LGBTQ+ community reclaimed that word, and now “queer” means a powerful and beautiful person.
Profile: strawberryblonde4315
strawberryblonde4315
July 19th, 2018 8:03am
Someone who identifies as LGBTQ+ but isn't quite sure what genders are their romantic or sexual preference.
Anonymous
July 21st, 2018 7:27pm
Queer means to be something a little different to the normal society standards sexuality and gender stand point and to just be who ya are on the inside