Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Sexual attraction: What's the difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction?

320 Answers
Last Updated: 01/20/2020 at 3:57pm
Sexual attraction: What's the difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction?
★ This question about LGBTQ+ Issues was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
Take the first step toward feeling better
Begin your therapy journey today and receive $25 off (use code 25OFF7C)
Moderated by

Brooke Bowen, LPC

Counselor

I am nonjudgmental, supportive, and encouraging. I use an eclectic approach in order to empower you so you can have a happy and fulfilling future :)

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
July 4th, 2015 4:49pm
well sexual attraction is portrayt as an attraction from wich you just wish a sexual relation or just sex and the "no strings attached"while the romantic is one that includes the sexual attraction but you expect a relationship, dating, love, comittement (according to how you define commitement ) basicly someone you are willing to build a life with or willing to change yours so you 2 can fuse together
Profile: Hannah1121
Hannah1121
July 4th, 2015 5:34pm
They are often though of as the same thing, but they are not. Sexual attraction is about feeling physically for someone. Romantic attraction is who you would want to date and fall in love with. For example, I could label myself as a homoromantic bisexual if I wanted to. I will only date girls, but I can experience physical attraction to both of the sexes at times.
Profile: NeoBrici
NeoBrici
July 4th, 2015 9:19pm
Everyone falls somewhere on a spectrum for each of these two separate feelings, and this can change throughout one's life. Romantic attraction is the feelings of fluff that you get for a person. It's often coupled with sexual attraction, but it's more "I want to marry this person," and "I want to cuddle with this person," and "I want to spend all of my time with this person." Sexual attraction is "I want to make out with this person," and "I want to have sex with this person." Therefore, someone who is sexually attracted to two genders but is romantically attracted to all others is a panromantic bisexual. A person who is only attracted to the same gender is homoromantic and homosexual, and someone who is romantically attracted to a different gender and not sexually attracted to anyone is heteroromantic and asexual.
Profile: ErisXaos6
ErisXaos6
July 5th, 2015 6:52am
Romantic attraction is attraction to the person as a whole, their personality, unique quirks and talents, and yes even their flaws. You feel like you can relate to this person in a way that is more than just sexual. Sexual attraction is purely a physical attraction to someone and their body, but not the person themselves
Anonymous
July 5th, 2015 10:00am
I, a pansexual, am romantically attracted to men, and agenders, I am sexually attracted to females and m-f/f-m. Basically I could be in love with a man but still not like the guy part, but I could love a girl and also love that lady part.
Anonymous
July 5th, 2015 1:34pm
It's kind of the same difference as an emotional and a physical feeling. Even though it also differs per person. Do you feel an emotional connection towards someone? Or a physical one? Maybe both, or maybe none.
Profile: Emily619
Emily619
July 5th, 2015 7:39pm
Romantic attraction is the desire to do the things couples do, and sexual attraction is the desire to do more sexual things, that are beyond just being a couple. If you have just a romantic attraction, and not a sexual attraction to people, you would be classified as asexual hetero-romantic, or asexual homo-romantic if it was to the same sex.
Profile: sereneOcean13
sereneOcean13
July 5th, 2015 7:40pm
From experience as a person who generally feels sexual attraction to a person rather than romantic, personally i differ the two by what your wants and desires to the person is. For instance getting excited/happy at the thought of kissing or being sexually intimate with them and wanting to carry out those desires. Whereas romantic attraction falls in fantasizing about possibly taking them on a date or planning a future. For me, sexual attraction is temporary to a person comes and goes quickly but romantic attraction tends to last longer and involves deeper thoughts and feelings.
Profile: peachysunny
peachysunny
July 5th, 2015 8:49pm
romantic is felt in your head and heart but sexual is felt in your genatalia romatic is like you want to hug them and tell them how grate they are sexual attraction is you want to have sex with them
Anonymous
July 8th, 2015 12:10am
A sexual attraction is all about sexuality and attraction to a persons physical state. If you are sexually attracted to someone you are attracted to their looks. A romantic attraction is a mental attraction towards another person.
Profile: heyitsTay
heyitsTay
July 8th, 2015 3:36am
Romantic attractions can typically be defined as attractions where you want a relationship with someone. You want to spend time with them, get to know them, have them as a companion. Where on the other hand, sexual attractions are attractions where you take interest in the physical aspect of someone rather than what's inside.
Profile: NiceCrow
NiceCrow
July 8th, 2015 4:59pm
Romantic attraction is more into looking for a connection with the other person, trying to form a bond with them. Sexual attraction is solely based in physical attraction, you really don't want to have a connection deeper than the one you already have with the other one, but you find them attractive because of their looks or their personality.
Profile: DipityEnigma
DipityEnigma
July 8th, 2015 5:26pm
Romance quite usually includes emotions such as love or what they believe to be love. A romantic attraction is more deeper and includes more feelings where as sexual attraction, you see the person more of a thing rather than a person. All people usually want from them is sexual acts rather than wanting something real like love and true emotions and commitment.
Profile: Boontea
Boontea
July 8th, 2015 9:44pm
To me romantic attraction is everything. Its deep love and understanding, its undescibable like.... sexual attraction is in my opinion more superficial and far less rewarding, at least when romantic attraction is not involved as well. I can live with only "romantic attraction" but not with only "sexual attraction". Then again the best is the mixture, with empathis still on romantic.
Profile: Kaaaatie
Kaaaatie
July 9th, 2015 12:29am
Romantic attraction is emotional--you are attracted to a person's mind, to his/her personality. It often has physical elements, too, but it is primarily emotional. Sexual attraction is physical; you feel it first and foremost in your body.
Profile: ArisThuMan
ArisThuMan
July 9th, 2015 6:29am
Romantic attraction is a mental and physical attraction that is not defined by sex. Sexual attraction is only about sex. They can intersect, but romantic tends to be more emotionally oriented.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2015 11:56am
Romantic attraction is when you want a partner to kiss, cuddle and connect with. Sexual attraction is when you want to engage in sex related activities with them.
Profile: boo
boo
July 9th, 2015 12:48pm
Romantic attraction is when you feel an emotional attachment to a person. Sexual is the physical attraction you feel to another person
Profile: friendlyNatural39
friendlyNatural39
July 9th, 2015 9:28pm
The difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction is that sexual attraction is more of a primal instinct. Something about this person is drawing you towards them, but it's usually based on physical appearance. Romantic attraction, however, feels the same way. Like the person that you're attracted to is pulling you to them with a rope around your waist. It could commonly be associated with having "butterflies" in your stomach, whereas sexual attraction alone is another feeling altogether, something that's not as powerful.
Profile: RIPGwenStacy11
RIPGwenStacy11
July 10th, 2015 1:28am
Romantic attraction and sexual attraction can be greatly distinguished. If you only find that person interesting when you are having sex with them then that is sexual. But if you find yourself thinking about them all day (not in a sexual way) and love to be around them then that is romantic.
Profile: Ray23
Ray23
July 10th, 2015 11:45am
A romantic attraction is an emotional feeling that draws one to want the other person who you are romantically attracted to to reflect back to oneself. A sexual attraction is a feeling of sexual desire for another person. One can be romantically attracted to someone and not feel sexually attracted to them and vica versa.
Profile: FractalBunny
FractalBunny
July 10th, 2015 3:23pm
Romantic attraction is who you want to date. For example, a woman who wants to date men is heteroromantic, and a woman who wants to date women is homoromantic. Sexual attraction is who you want to have intercourse with. If we take a different woman; a woman who wants to sleep with men is heterosexual, and a woman who wants to sleep with women is homosexual. Your romantic and sexual orientations do not have to be the same; some people are heteroromantic bisexual, or homoromantic heterosexual, and there are nearly endless combinations and possibilities.
Profile: oldvital3
oldvital3
July 10th, 2015 6:35pm
in a romantic attraction you feel the duty to protect the person and make them feel happy and okay and in the sexual attraction all that matters is the pleasure
Anonymous
July 10th, 2015 9:34pm
Romantic Attraction encompasses a number of factors which include love, companionship and care for the other person in the relationship as well as sexual attraction. Sexual attraction usually lacks the first three factors and looks just at the instant gratification to get the urge met.
Anonymous
July 11th, 2015 1:34am
Romantic attraction is who you love, sexual attraction is who you desire in a physical sense. Romantic and sexual attraction can be different, and this is most frequently found in the asexual community - so they still desire and feel that closeness of a romantic relationship, but do not feel physical attraction to their partners. Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different despite what many people think. The two do not always go hand in hand. Romantic attraction can be hard to describe, but in the simplest form and in my understanding it is the romanticizing of a person. Sexual attraction in its simplest form is desiring a specific person in a sexual way.
Profile: JazmyneJayy
JazmyneJayy
July 11th, 2015 7:08am
Romantic attraction is on a more emotional level. Sexual attraction is more about lust. Though the two can be confused romantic attraction is more about how the person understand how you feel emotionally and the way that they meet your emotional needs. Sexual attraction is more about the way that you too connect sexually. Or the way that you think that you'll connect sexually.
Profile: AnatomyLover
AnatomyLover
July 11th, 2015 12:51pm
Romantic attraction results in a sexual attraction, not vise versa, for example if I m romantically attracted to someone , then sex won't matter, I just like the personality of that person, sex will probably follow as a basic need to make the relationship strong and intimate, but if I m sexually attracted to someone, it would be a relationship based on interest, a need of the moment, that will end up soon, and with it the relationship.
Anonymous
July 11th, 2015 4:59pm
Romantic is kissing, cuddling, holding hands. Sexual, is having sex. An asexual person may want to kiss or hold hands, but not have sex.
Profile: YourNotAlone27
YourNotAlone27
July 11th, 2015 6:06pm
romantic attraction is what someone does for a person and that other person is attracted to what they are doing or saying to them. Sexual attraction is like your only sexually attracted to them not in love
Profile: StevensLion
StevensLion
July 11th, 2015 10:09pm
Romantic attraction has more to do with your emotions and feelings for someone. It doesn't even have to include sexual attraction at all. You want to love the person and just be with them/around them. You just want them to be happy. It could include wanting to hug them or cuddle with them, but it doesn't include anything sexual. Sexual attraction is just the want to have sexual relations with someone. Their body and appearance is pleasing to you and you want to have sex with them, plain and simple. It doesn't have to include any romantic attraction at all. These two things can coincide, but they don't have to.