Whenever I go home, my parents treat me like a teenager again - how can I stop this from happening?

It is important to realize that in your parents eyes, you are still their child and it may be difficult for them to see you as an adult. Although all parents and families are unique, you may be able to stop this from happening by finding at an appropriate time that works with your parents when they can sit down and talk to you about how them treating you like a teenager makes you feel. You can mention that you believe you deserve their respect as an adult and that you will always be their 'child' but have transitioned into an adult and feel minimialized when they treat you like a teenager. I think if they know that you still respect them and will come to them if you need to that they will try and respect your feelings. This is based solely on my personal experiences and the experience I have had helping others and should not be taken as 100% "perfect" advice, as all situations and individuals vary. I wish you the best of luck with your parents and I hope that they can see that you are becoming an adult.

In my experience, setting boundaries with my parents has helped tremendously. I let them know I was feeling (i.e., like they were babying me and not taking me seriously) and put boundaries and stick to them (e.g., the contents of my bank account is my business)

Whenever I'm at home mum treats me like a child, like a sulky teen and occasionally like an adult. My opinion? You can't stop parents from being parents. But, you can try to see their point of view: they miss those years. They are almost certainly proud to see how far you've come from their little child to an adult though. And when it does stop, ask yourself whether you'll miss their reaction or not.

Set boundaries! Explain to them that you're no longer a child, and it's tempting for them to disrespect you because that's what they're used to, but really--set boundaries. Specific ones. "You will not say ____ to me. You will not go through my things. You will knock before you enter my room."

I think you have to have a serious discussion with your parents, tell them how you feel inside about this situation, when they take you seriously, it will be okay.

Breaking out of the parent-child relation is one of the most difficult things to do when reaching adolescence and moving out. It might never be accomplished for the simple fact that they are your parents and will always love you and think about you in such a way. Nevertheless, for the relationship to be sustainable, or even flourish, it is important to treat and think of each other as adults. There are some points to keep in mind: - What is it that makes you feel treated as a teenager? What do they do or say that makes you feel that? What is a teenager to you? In what ways could you still be considered a teenager? Do you sometimes still feel a teenager or 'child' when around them? Are you the same person when you 'go home' as when you're away? Do you see them as parents or adults? In what ways or moments? - When both you and your parents are in an emotionally neutral state, talk with them. You and your parents probably had a long history together so it's important to keep in mind that a lot of thoughts and patterns of behavior are 'lived out' without being aware of it. That's why it's significant to understand that there really are multiple perspectives on the issue. - When having that talk, just open with something like; When you do [this or that] I feel you're treating me as a teenager and I don't want that. Stay close to your experience and accept theirs. If they say: well, we do feel that you're a teenager sometimes when you act in [this or that] way. Then it might not be useful to argue with them, just accept that that is what they experience of you. - While talking with the questions above, try to speak openly and freely about the different perceptions of each other. Recognize that this might not be what you or your parents want but this is how the situation is now. Transitioning from parent-child or parent-teenager to adult-adult relationship is a process. It is important that both you and your parents recognize this process and the end goal you both want; a natural adult-relationship. In this way, both you and your parents can work on this process. - If you're also theoretically interested; look up 'transactional analysis'. This theory might help you to point out ways of behaving or things you and your parents say that make you feel they treat you like a teenager.

Is there a reason? Maybe you can tell them you have responsibility and prove it. If you can't, then theres your answer.

Have you tried having a calm, logical discussion with them? They might not realize they are doing it. Otherwise, have you tried continuing to live your life as an adult? Meet them in compromises slowly, but let them see that you can stand on your own two feet and can take care of yourself, and that you are an independent individual.

You can try talking to them, choose the right time and ask them if they have a minute to talk, let them sit down and explain to them how you feel, and that you dont like the way they treat you "as a teen" and let them know how you would like to be treated, remember, the tone of voice matters, speak to them in a normal yet loud and clear voice, avoid talking in a sarcastic way or nagging, just be confident and clear about what you expect from them.maybe you could ask them why they are treating you that way, maybe there is something your missing or something u did in which they thought was "teenage" learn from your mistakes and let them know that you asked that because you want to make yourself better and be mire mature

Maybe tell them that you don't want them to treat you that way. It's probably because they missed you and that you would always be their child

I'm not sure you can ever change that - because you will always be their kid. It will probably change a bit with time but not completely... I can't tell if it is possible - but.. maybe. When talking to them - making them understand you don't want them to treat you like a teenager because you're older now.

it sounds like it time for the talk.... the parents talk. It hard for parents to see our adult kids like adult. maybe a warm reminder might help

I am sorry to hear that your parents do not recognize that you are no longer a teenager. What do you feel keeps them from being able to address you like the adult that you are? Maybe you could show to them that you are no longer a teenager and sit down with them to talk about how you want to be treated. Changing something begins with open communication How do you feel about that?

This is tricky, and it is something a few (maybe more) parents are guilty of doing. I would suggest just sitting down with them and calmly expressing how you feel, and ask them why. They might not even know they are doing it, or maybe it is part of their way of showing you they still love you and care for you. You will always be their child and sometimes it is hard for parents to accept the big change that their little baby has actually grown up and does not need them. it is a scary reality for some parents. so be kind when talking to them but share your views so that a new relationship can blossom, a more adult relationship (where you are not thought of or treated like a teenager).

I remember when I was in college this would happen all the time. My mom was super strict. Eventually, as I got older, she stopped doing it. First remember, you will always be their baby. Second, you can push the boundaries a bit while still respecting them. It is a delicate balancing act. Eventually, they will come around and see you as an adult. The whole thing takes some getting used to. Honestly, I had to fuss a little with my mom for a couple of years. It took quite a bit of patience on my end as well as having conversations with her about what to expect out of me. Good luck.

Based on my personal experience, communication is the key. After all, there may be thousands of reasons ranging from something you said/did to unresolved family or personal issues. For example when parents are not able to step out of their role as a parent or are unhappy with their relationship with their partner. Sometimes instead it may be that they just miss you and do not know how to connect with you on more mature, adult level. If you feel that it is seriously affecting your well-being or relationship with your parents and you're not able to resolve this issue yourself, I strongly suggest to turn to the professional, for example family therapist.

Doesnt that stink?!?! I think that happens to most people, so you are not alone. Instead of expecting them to change, I'd encourage you to change your response to them, or the situations that they put you. We often cant change other people but we can change how we respond and react to others and that sometimes changes them, but at the very least it empowers us to seek the change we desire. So, when you are home, guide your parents to speak and talk to you and respond to their comments, rules, etc with how you feel a grown adult would respond. Carve out the life you want.

Assert your boundaries respectfully. It can be hard for parents to transition from treating their child like a child, to treating their child like an adult. Speak up for yourself, but also make sure to thank your parents for wanting to take care of you (so long as what they're doing isn't harmful). If your parents are being controlling, asserting your boundaries is even more important. Your parents won't know to stop treating you that way unless you tell them! If you encounter difficulty with this, asking a friend for advice may help, as they likely know both you and your parents.

Trying to understand your situation. Being young and adult you must have been annoyed by there interference most of the times. It is tricky situation for you....on one side they treating you like this must have become habit to them from your childhood. but on the other side you want to take your own decisions. How about you sitting across and talk to them about your uncomfortable feeling due to there interference, may be adding some of the very good decision taken by you and was successful outcome. you can also explain to them that you will learn from the failures/ small wrong decisions...it will make you to more self- growth

Try and talk to them how you want to be talked to. In order to command respect, you have to give it, too. Another important thing is simple communication. Parents aren't mind readers, and if they aren't malicious, they'll care about how you feel. They are not mind readers, though. Communication is very often something that isn't given enough credit as it should. Learning how to directly and comfortably communicate with your superiors and peers, in order to coordinate and compensate for each other's differences, is a very key life skill. Remember, even if you're younger, you still deserve to be heard.

Seems like you get thoroughly annoyed by this. Has this been bothering you for a long time? Does it anger you or do you just not like it? Let's take a moment to think. Why do you think they are treating you like that? Do you have any idea what could be causing this behaviour on their side? Can you think of a way to change it peacefully? Also, I'm not really the person to give you advice, but you can surely try one of the therapy options provided by 7 cups. It was brave of you to reach out to us.

Be sure to communicate your feelings to your parents. They can’t understand how you are feeling unless you directly let them know. Inform them that you are now older and can take care of yourself, and kindly suggest that you’d prefer that they treat you as an adult. Make sure to respectfully communicate with your parents on this topic, and ensure that you feel satisfied when the discussion is over. Your feelings are important, and your parents need to know how you feel before they can change the way they treat you. Be sure to suggest the changes you want to be made, and reassure them that you are doing what is best for your emotions.

Try to talk to your parents and explain them that you don't like the way they treat you and why you don't like that

According to my experience, the best plan I can propose, it to tell your parents that you want to see a Phycologist and once you see him, tell him your problem. I am sure he will give a good counseling session to your parents without telling them that basically your kid is fine, however you need a little treatment for better parenting. If we tell directly to the parents they will never accept, because they will not accept the fact that their kids have grown. In this way, you will be able to keep the respect of yourself and your parents as well.

I would highly recommend talking to them. Show them that you have grown up by talking about your progress in a job if you have one. Maybe take them out to eat and pay for them. This will show them you are financially stable. Let them know what is on your mind and you do not like to be treated that way. Tell them what you have been doing when you have not been staying home. For example, staying out later and or eating out more. Make sure you spend time with your parents as well. This will make them feel appreciative.

Talk to them about it. Do not yell or be agressive, just try to express how you truly feel so you guys can work it out and find a solution that pleases everyone. Do not be afraid to confront tour parents, they are there to help you and only want what’s best for you. One of the biggest problems between parents and their kids is the lack of communication! Explain why you feel this way and try to understand why they treat you like that. Maybe suggest some sort of solution to the problem and try to put yourself on their skin

What we don't realize is that though we have very clearly grown up, and matured (some even with their own kids now) some parents will always see us as their children who they have the authority over because they created you. What you're going through is very common, and has a solution that sounds easy, but takes time, and willingness from both parties to be successful. What I suggest that has helped me and alot of other people is sitting them down, and being honest about how their treatment towards you makes you feel, and set their boundaries that if they respect you, they'll learn to respect the boundaries and work on it with you. And like I mentioned before, maybe they don't even realize it or they can't help their parental instinct to keep a close eye on you. So be patient, honest and understanding with them. Good luck, and I hope this helped you.

I am 53 years old and my parents still treat me like a teenager when I go home. I went out with some friends one night and my mum couldn't sleep until I got home. My dad has the ability to transport me back to my teenage years with one sharp word. This is despite the fact that I moved away from home when I was 18 and now live in another country. Becoming a parent myself made me realise that our children are always our children in OUR eyes. It's a hard thing for parents to recognise. I am also wondering if perhaps you default to a teenager while you are home? Sometimes, we can easily drop back into dynamics that feel safe and comfortable to us (and that simultaneously irritate that crap out of us). Here's another perspective - perhaps they are not treating you like a teenager but are trying to care for you. Maybe they are offering advice, but you are acting like a typical teenager and not wanting to hear it? Let your parents know how you feel, calmly. However, it might just be one of those things you need to accept and tolerate, unfortunately.

Unfortunately, we are not in control of the actions of others. There is no way to prevent your parents from acting however they act. We are only in control of how we respond to others' words and actions. I, too, struggle with feeling like a teenager again when I'm around my parents. Based on personal experience, I would suggest reminding yourself that you're now an adult, a totally different person from who you were as a teenager, every time you visit family. If we portray ourselves as "caught up" by their treating us like a teenager, in a way, we revert to our teenage ways of interacting with them. It's certainly easier said than done, but if you try to remain aware of your own growth while interacting with them, they might just start seeing it and begin respecting you more for it, ultimately treating you more like the adult you are.

You can sit down and have a talk with them. Explain to them how you feel and that you would like to be treated like a adult now. Of course in a nice manner. I understand it can be difficult because you are their child and whenever they see you they want to treat you like a kid again because they probably miss those times. A lot of parents tend to that. But it’s always understandable if you sit down and talk to them and tell them how you feel and I’m sure they will be understanding about it .