My father is having an extramarital affair. Part of me wants to end my relationship with him for cheating on my mom, but i worry that he will be depressed as he loves me a lot. How do I deal with this situation?

Unfurtantely our parents affairs and their relationships are something that must be solved by them. Don't turn your back on your father because I'm sure he's not wanting to hurt you, instead try talk to him and face the problem by asking him directly his reasons for doing what he has done and then you may decide, after hearing him out, what do you want to do about it.

I think that it's hard to directly tell your dad how you feel about what he's done, especially if you're not open about these things in the family. It'll be good if you can approach him and tell him honestly what you feel. Moreover, if you can forgive your dad for cheating on your mom, continue your bond with your father and go on with your life, it would be the ideal situation. This doesn't mean that you forget what your father has done though. You don't have to rush, just take your time to think things through. Forgiveness is hard but it will give you peace of mind.

The best thing to do is tell somebody. Keeping that kind of weight on your shoulders can be detramental to your health, and happiness. It might make your father upset, but in the end the outcome will be better than keeping it a secrete. Your not alone in this, and your mother would be very greatful for your strength and honesty!

Your words can have too much power in this situation. It’s better to talk to him alone and it can even help him to change . In fact, he is a lovely dad and would it be right to hurt him ?

Infidelity is a serious breach of trust and you are justified in feeling betrayed by what must seem like a selfish act on the part of your father. However, it is useful to remember that people become unfaithful for different reasons and it is important to communicate with your father about his decisions. It might also be useful to try to make him understand how his actions affect those around him and to ask him to take some accountability for it. I am sorry you had to experience this. It is a truly disruptive and psychologically destabilizing experience. But talking to an individual and/or family therapist can help you and your family heal from the pain in productive ways, whether your parents choose to remain together or not.

You should ask your father to leave the other woman and get back to your mother and make her the happiest person on this planet in the name of his relationship with you. If he really loves you, he will improve.

Inform your mother, tell your dad you love him, but what he did is wrong. Being upfront about secrets will gain trust from your mother, and respect from your father

It’s always tough to find about something like that and it’s completely normal to have these conflicting thoughts. Only you can decide what to do so try taking some time to reflect on not only on how your dad may feel but how you feel, then when you’re reading try talking to him about it. Also if you’re feeling angry or upset about this you should try to find a way of coping that works well for you so that anger doesn’t build up until you eventually explode and do or say things you may regret or feel guilty about later.

Talk to him. Let him know that you're aware of his affair. And then also let him know how disappointed you are. I know it feels horrible, but still, that an issue between your father and your mother, and not between you two. Try to separate yourself from that problem. I am sure he values you and loves you dearly, and I also understand you want to 'punish' him for treating your mom wrong. But still, you are a different 'world' for him. Try to not be too harsh on him, but let him know. Hope this helps :)

It sounds like you also love him a lot, but you are disappointed in his behavior. It's difficult to make oneself vulnerable and express how we really feel. But it can also be incredibly rewarding to open up and be honest with the person who has hurt or disappointed us. The key is to do this from a voice of vulnerability and love so as not to trigger defensiveness. Before deciding to shut your father out entirely, it might be worth it to initiate this difficult conversation about how his actions have impacted you. Be sure to have the conversation from a place of love.

First, you're allowed to be angry about this. I'm sure you're feeling betrayed, like the foundation of your relationship has been shaken. I think that one thing to remember is that parents, no matter what, are still humans that are capable of doing good and doing harm, and - just like you - they're trying to live their life the best way they know how. I think the number one thing would be to take stock of the facts and assess from there. How is it hurting you? How is it hurting your mother? How you're feeling? I'd voice all of these things to your father and go from there.

I would recommend that you talk to him about it and how it makes you feel. Tell him that you do not like his actions and that, even though you love him, you do not respect his decision to be with someone else when he is married (I suppose? Sorry for assuming, dear) to your mother. Honestly, you need to chat with him about it, or maybe tell your mother. The situation he's putting himself in is not good and will most likely end up hurting everyone in a way or another. So really, talking to him is all you can do. Keep in mind that it's not your fault.

You should speak with directly, portray your feelings, emotions, worries and concerns towards him. Tell him where you stand and your feelings towards him. Nothing is ever black and white, you can still love him, but he needs and should hear how his actions in marriage effect you! Maybe look at options to help him also, marriage councilors ect, as he may need this. Also take into consideration how ending your realtionship with him would honestly effect you, as much as its easy to say that now, yes he has done bad, but he is still your father, good or bad, family is family!

I know it's never been easy for you in this matter. seeing your father cheating on your mom and breaking their marriage in to a deeper problem. but im here for you , you cab always tell me anything. I believe you are a good person with good heart to decide the best and fit for your situations.

My father cheated on my mum too, he also loved me a lot. I hear you're so angry for what he did, and I think you should definitely let him know, you have the right to be angry. I invite you to consider that what he did, he did to your mother, he didn't mean to harm or cheat on you. What I mean is to leave the conflict between your parents to them, and focus only on your issue with your dad, without taking the side of anyone, because it's not a position a son/dauguter should ever be forced to take, and they are both your patents, you can't choose on this. So you can think your mum's right, be enraged with your dad, but you don't have to cut contacts, if you don't feel like doing it, just because your mother would do the same, or just to support mum. It's complicated, I hope I explaned it clearly

Hi there, It’s unfortunate that you somehow got caught up in the knowing of your dads personal affairs. As a daughter I feel that would be a sticky spot to be in. Here’s the thing, does your mom know? If I were in your shoes, I’d sit down with my dad and ask him how he thinks it should go moving forward. Take into consideration that he loves you and the affair isn’t about you or how you feel about your mom. We fail to see our parents as real people beyond our mom and dad. They are so much more. It’s understandable that you will want to stick up for your mom and she will need you, no doubt but at the end of the day you will want to do what’s best for both of your parents. It’s not fair that you are in the middle of it. Start with your dad and tell him your concerns. And if you aren’t wanting to lie to your mom, he will have to make a choice. Good luck.

I would suggest speaking with your Father. Let him know how you feel about the affair and that you are thinking about not having a relationship with him because of it. Ask him to be honest with you as you are being with him. Let him know you do not wish to hurt him but his behavior is hurting you and how it makes you feel about his relationship with your Mom. Often opening up like this allows the other person to see the impact of their behavior. You will then know what he thinks. It may help you make the decision if to stay in relationship with him or if to cut ties with him for now.

First, I would be selfish and put yourself first in this situation. The only way to get out of this situation satisfied is to think if whatever you decide is the best option. No one is going to give you a specific answer as to the only correct one is the one you feel will be happy with long term. There will always be options too. If you really do love your father and want to keep a close or distant relationship with him, I would visit him as much as you feel is necessary. If you're only doing this for him I would close all doors with him as in the end he would only wish for you to do what's best for you even if that means leaving him in the past

First of all, lets address some of the feelings that are plaguing your mind; hatred, betrayal, hurt, and confusion. Your father's behavior is a reflection of himself as your behavior will be a reflection of yours. You should always carry forgiveness in your heart because at the end of the day you are going to be the one to deal with your emotions. This lack of loyalty your father committed will take a lot of healing to surpass. I am sorry that he did this to your family. Let him confront his sins. If you need time to let everything settle in then take that time.

Talk to your father and understand his view towards the affair. It may feel scary and you may be feeling anger towards him but if you do not try to understand why he decided to have an affair you will not be able to move on. If you stay angry with him and put a strain on your relationship, it can have detrimental effects for both of you- you need to be honest with each other. If you are concerned about how your actions will effect your father then your emotions may be clouded by the anger you feel, you may come to regret cutting him from your life later on and could benefit from talking to him now instead of trying to mend to relationship later. And it is okay if you decide you want to end your relationship with him but at least you would have talked to him and tried to understand why he did it.

Sometimes it is so tough to disconnect with people though you feel like it’s the best. That’s how I felt when my father was seeing other woman. We may not be the same person but what would you say to yourself if you wanted to deal with this? That is what I told myself. I soon came to realization that other people’s problems are not mine and I shouldn’t carry it on my shoulders. I felt lighter once I acknowledged that and what my parents have, that is something I can’t do nothing about but to be there to support both of them, that was what I felt was best.

This is a very difficult situation to be in as you feel a sense of responsibility towards both your mother and father. Keep in mind that this is your fathers wrong doing. You must ensure your own personal needs are being met and this is unfair putting you in this situation. Speak to him and explain that he has put you into a difficult situation and you want him to tell your mum or else you will. Secrets always come out in the end and it is better to say now than to lose a relationship with your mum whenever she finds out that you knew. Also if your worried about your father getting depressed, perhaps he isnt happy at the minute and that is why he is having an affair

This is most certainly a difficult situation to have found yourself in. Please know that although your father chose to make a decision that affects many people, he more than likely did not choose to make it with the intention of hurting anyone. Infidelity is a complex situation that has so many intricate components in it, and the reasons for each person who engages in it are as unique as the person themselves. It's completely understandable that you would not want to talk to your father for some time now that you have found out about this situation. Please know that if you do continue your relationship with him, it does not mean that you are condoning his behavior. It's more about being able to forgive his mistake, loving him for the person that he is to you, and understanding that even though he is your father, he is a human being first, and therefore is incapable of escaping the ability to make problems for himself, and others. Your loyalty to your mother will never be questioned if you choose to continue speaking with your father. However, if he does become depressed by your choosing to cut ties with him, then it is up to him to understand that his inappropriate behavior couldn't exactly lead to positive reactions from his family members, including you. This does not mean that he should be "punished" for the sake of hurting his feelings. What it does mean, though, is that no one has to minimize the effects of the damage that has been caused by his decision. If you're hurt, you're hurt. If you don't want to talk to him for a short while, or a longer while, that is okay. Whatever it is that you choose to do, so long as you are willing to do it from a place of love for yourself, you will be able to feel comfortable with the decision that you make.

My advice to you would be for you to do what you believe is morally right. Perhaps ask him to end his affair he's having and discuss with him how it makes you feel about him, your father must love you a lot and if its hurting you and causing you grief he will respectfully come to a choice, you should know that he may choose to stay with your mother or end the relationship and start a formal official one with his new partner. Be prepared that it may not go the way you want it too, but as long as your father makes a choice to stop holding the family at a stand still then thats morally the right thing to do.

Hi, I’m really sorry you are having to go through this tough situation, is not an easy one. As a daughter you don’t want to be disloyal to your parents and that is basically what this scenario presents you with. Have you thought about having a conversation with your dad and just letting him know you are aware as to what is going on which doesn’t mean you will emotionally cut him off but that you would really appreciate if he was honest and upfront with your mom. Hold space for both of them and just be there to support them individually in which ever way you can. As for you take care of you and do not compromise who you are soon enough all will fall into place.

Express your displeasure and stand up for your mom. But don’t break your loving relationship with your father. Both are your parents after all. And each relationship can be given it’s due and treated separately. He loves you and that is a very special thing for you and you shouldn’t lose out on his love because of his affair. At the same time, you should offer support to your mother and be there for her. Mothers wouldn’t want their children to lose the love, affection and company of their fathers, so she wouldn’t ask that of you. Give them both their dues.

I know you care about both of your parents but severing your relationship with one of them because of this is choosing sides. Getting involved is not the best decision. This affair is between your parents, you did not cause it nor should you try to fix it. They must work through this on their own as this is their problem. The best you can do is be there to support each of them unbiased. It will be difficult but you must be strong. You will feel a sense of betrayal, distrust, disappointment, sadness and even anger but do not allow these feelings to affect how you deal with this situation. At the end of it all they are both your parents and they both love and care for you despite whatever issues they are having among themselves.

What do you want the end result to be? Youre dad is having an affair, if you spoke to him about it, would you want him to end it? Does he know you know? But no matter what, try to talk to him about it, voice why you want to end your relationship with him (also you need to take care of yourself in this, so cutting yourself off isnt bad) and if you need to, do. My parents went through a bad divorce and I refused to talk to my mother for several years. Now we talk almost everyday and have an even stronger relationship.

That's a tough one. You are clearly angry with your father and those feelings are valid. One thing to bear in mind though is that we are not responsible for another person and how they feel or react. If you worry about your father being depressed you are taking on a responsibility for him that isn't yours to take on. Your father is an adult and he is responsible for himself. I can see that you want to try and protect your mum from being hurt even more, but all you can do is be there for her if she wants to talk to you about things. I know it's a difficult thing to do especially when the affair is still going on but forgiveness is a big thing, and that will help you to let go of this burden that you are carrying. You can't change your father or his behaviour but you can control yourself and how you react to any situation. You are in a difficult place but try and take of you and let the other stuff over which you have no control work itself out.

It is an upsetting to learn when a parent is being unfaithful. I can only imagine the betrayal you are feeling. That said, I understand your interest in severing your relationship. I'd like to remind you that there are always two sides to consider. We do not know how/if your mom is contributing to your dad going astray. We say it takes two, two people to make love, two people to break-up. I can appreciate your desire to side with your mom and to be protective of her. I also think that it could be damaging to yourself as a relationship with both parents is important and when we do not know all the details and later learn them, sometimes we regret it. Instead, my suggestion might be to have an honest and open discussion with your dad, privately, about the situation, what you know, and how you feel, and then ask questions to better understand. Perhaps with that information you will have some new options and or decisions to make, however, it is a mature way to protect yourself, and your relationship and is an important growth step in healthy communications.