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How do I deal with a religious family as an atheist?

215 Answers
Last Updated: 12/22/2022 at 4:25am
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Top Rated Answers
waterbear000
July 26th, 2019 7:24pm
Let them know that you disagree with what they believe but you respect their right to believe it. It's like dealing with any other difference of opinion in a free society. When it comes to holidays and other such rituals, that's subjective and depends on your own comfort level. It's not inconsistent with atheism to show up at these events just to be with your family, but depending on your history with their religion, you may not want to and that's ok too. For instance I could never celebrate Passover with my Jewish family because I left that faith on the worst of terms. (So we save our celebrations for Thanksgiving.) But Christmas with my girlfriend's family is fine by me - there are no bad memories to overcome, and though her parents are Christian they don't expect us to join them at church. Bottom line, you don't have to be consistent. Just do what works for you and let them do what works for them.
Hanaa00
July 11th, 2019 9:10pm
It can be so incredibly difficult to be an only atheist in the family. And often times those children are unable to express that openly, because they face judgment and cannot be accepted by other family members. I personally have a religious family that doesn’t force its beliefs onto anybody, but does find it offensive when somebody labels themselves as an atheist. I suppose it has a lot to do with all the stigma around the word atheist, and all the negative connotations. So I simply don’t label myself as anything with my family, and don’t participate any religious discussions, but rather try to find a community of people who are similar to me elsewhere.
bobbythePenguin
July 4th, 2019 5:43pm
I don't have a very religious family but I am an atheist. When I am forced to participate in religious ceremonies I just go with it. If you are a minor I would recommend doing the same to avoid conflict. However, I'm your family's religious values are holding you back in any way, You could try talking to them. If you don't feel comfortable with that, then you could find someone else to talk to. If you aren't too affected by your family's religion, maybe try to think about it differently. You could consider the values the religion encourages and see if you agree with them. If the general ideas are reasonable, just focus more on the lessons than the "religious" part
Enso
June 27th, 2019 9:47pm
I believe it is important to mindful that all of us have our beliefs, values, and views. That said, everyone is entitled to these things. While we may not always agree with someone else’s views, beliefs, or ways of living, I have found it most conducive to make every attempt to co-exist with people anyway. While we may not agree, we should make efforts to respect their differing choices. While we won’t necessarily adopt these differing opinions as our own, we can still attempt to empathize and keep an open mind. One person’s way of living is no less important than another’s. Keep an open mind, be emphatic, and try to stay neutral.
Anonymous
June 14th, 2019 5:09pm
I can understand how you feel. It can be confusing and stressful to have to be around people with completely different beliefs to you. I would say that it is important to be respectful and understand that those views may be important to them. However, in the same way, you also deserve to be respected, no matter what your religious beliefs are. It is not fair for them to push or force their beliefs upon you. Stay strong and true to your beliefs. You have a right to believe in your own views, just like them. They do not have to agree with your beliefs, but it is important that they respect them.
DelicateButterfly78
March 28th, 2019 3:16pm
Ah, religious conflict! I do not this issue, but I have seen issues similar to this one. I do not know the religion on your family, but what they could do for you, the atheist, is to not force you into religion. They need to accept the fact that you do not believe the same way they do. Now, what you can do as an atheist living with a religious family is try to talk to them about your beliefs and express to them that church is not important to you and that you prefer that they understand that. I mean, we were put on this Earth to do as we please. This place is meant to be enjoyed and you should be able to believe what is suitable for you.
Anonymous
March 13th, 2019 3:58pm
I personally have this issue, so I can speak from experience. Just be respectful, and most of the time they will be respectful in turn. If they try to push their religious beliefs on you, politely explain that you don't believe in that and that you're not interested in believing in it. Don't try to push atheism on your family, as that never helps. And if they don't know, just sit them down and tell them. Unless you're positive they'd disown you or something because of it, it shouldn't make a huge difference in your life, and you'll probably be glad you did it. Once again, just be respectful of their beliefs.
savingimage
January 23rd, 2019 5:09am
Having a family that is religious when you are not can be very difficult, taxing, and hard to deal with. It often creates feelings of stress, isolation, or even low self esteem. Please know that you are not any less than they are for having differing beliefs. If your family is trying to start an arguement, or is picking a fight with you because of your beliefs, it is ok to distance yourself from the situation or express your discomfort. You are allowed to be clear with where you stand and support your decisions and still keep yourself away from harmful discussion with family. Similarily, do not try to instigate fights, and don't bash their beliefs. Both parties should try to be respectful. If you feel comfortable having conversations about it with your family, again, be respectful. Don't put yourself or them down for what they believe. I have, personally, had problems with this. It can be hard, and I felt very isolated when, in my own home, I felt as if I was looked down upon for not believing the same things my grandparents or parents did. But it is ok to have a different opinion, and it is ok to stand by that. Just know that, despite this, you should be respectful of both yourself and your family. Just be calm, and try to stay confident. I know how hard it can be, but know that it is ok to make your voice heard.
ComfortablyNumb7676
January 12th, 2019 10:04am
I am also an athiest. We have no right to push our beliefs, or lack of beliefs on anyone else. Just as most athiests dislike religious people pressing the issue, we should allow them to believe what they do. The most that will come of having a talk about it with them is an argument and you cannot point out rational theory that disproves a God because everything is one of God's miracles to them. Besides, I know a lot of people who are happy with their religion, just because we think it's ignorant, we have no right to disrupt their happiness.
Anonymous
December 26th, 2018 11:13pm
Know that you're personal religious path can be different than theirs and that they should respect that. If you live together, however, you may have to give up a few things if they feel it is disrespectful (for example, swearing against god or listening to certain music around the house) because for many religious people it may hurt the energy of the house, and they are doing you a favor by letting you live with them. If it becomes unbearable, you can always start a plan to move out. It can be a good day by day motivation. If you have access to it, consider therapy as a family if issues are stronger.
Anonymous
November 18th, 2018 11:45pm
Growing up in a conservative household and community, I learned how difficult it can be being berated, having religion shoved down your throat. There are several ways to "combat" this but the best may be to "preach" acceptance and love just like most religions do with your own actions and words. Most of all is just to accept the situation yourself. Your beliefs and views are your own, and that's awesome. Accept it for part of who you are. Furthermore accept the fact that one can rarely can another, so don't just "give up" on your family but rather set that example of tolerance without feeding into what can seem very hateful and judgmental.
EternalEngine
November 16th, 2018 3:32pm
As someone who is religious but also respects anyone who is an atheist, I firmly believe the best way to interact with the religious family is to keep the topic of religion to a minimum. Religion is extremely important to many people because it partially is who they identify as due to the values and way they're supposed to live their life according to the religion in question. I do know that a good way to start a conversation, if you're open to it, is to ask them about their religion and just listen to them talk, sort of like how we talk to people here! Asking someone about something they're very interested in or something that's a big part of their life is surely a conversation starter, and will pave the way to creating a level of mutual respect between you.
angelFace94
November 14th, 2018 4:25pm
You should explain them that you care about them and that the fact that you are an atheist doesn't change anything but your personal beliefs. Make sure they understand that you respect them and their beliefs even though you do not follow their religion. If they do not respect you for that, you should, try to explain them why you don't believe in the same things they do, make sure that they know you feel this way because you do, and simply because of that. Make sure they understand you're not just saying it, that it is who you are.
Anonymous
October 19th, 2018 7:28pm
I, as an atheist, completely understand this struggle. What I have learned to do is change the subject whenever religion comes up. If you've already come out, simply express to them that you are not interested in their religion, but you still love them. If you haven't come out yet, try to slowly push their religion away so soon enough they wont be horribly shocked if you come out. The more respect you give them, the more they'll give you.
Blink182andNirvana
October 19th, 2018 6:18am
I myself am an atheist in a religious family. The truth is to just follow what you believe and let them do the same. They have no right to expect or ask you participate in religious activities and you have no right to ask them not to or to go against their personal beliefs. However, it can be beneficial to all of you to share your opinions and reasons behind them so you can understand from a different perspective why they choose to be religious and they can understand why you choose not to be. If they try to push you to do things you don't want to do, just politely decline and if they push further let them know you care and respect their beliefs and wish they would do the same for you.
Caroline1908
June 24th, 2018 4:21pm
If you're an atheist, you're entitled to that. Your family may think, feel, and believe one thing, but that doesn't mean you have to agree and believe in the same things they do. It's important to respect and tolerate everyone's beliefs, even if they don't match your own. Just know it's not wrong to feel or think differently than others; that's what makes us unique individuals.
calmMango9611
December 22nd, 2022 4:25am
Have an open mind. Having an open mind is very helpful. A closed mind is all or nothing thinking, which often leads to conflicts. Conflicts should be avoided, as much as possible. Respecting their religious view points, is really important. If need be, talk to their Pastor, to learn as much as you can about their religion, and why it is so important to them. Also, do some reading about their religion and practices. Watch videos on your family's religion. Educate yourself as much as possible. Maybe have a meeting to ask questions. Open, honest, communication is another way to learn and grow. I wish you the best, and I hope this is helpful.
EnceladusGlow
May 25th, 2018 12:12am
I have dealt with this personally and the best way is with shared respect. Respect their beliefs and have the expectation that they respect yours, as well.
MajesticJoy95
May 27th, 2018 6:22am
Telling them about your beliefs is difficult, and they may not understand at first. Some families may accept you while others will neglect you. Mine have accepted me, but are still trying to convert my beliefs. I try to change too, for their happiness, but it doesn't seem to be working. Maybe showing them that you care about their beliefs will help...
cheerfulRainbow56
June 2nd, 2018 3:24am
You are jumping too quickly to the most difficult proof. Believing There Is a Heaven is perhaps the hardest thing out of the whole story to swallow.
Anonymous
June 8th, 2018 6:02am
The most important thing in this sort of situation is to be upfront about it and try and explain to your family why you feel that way and make them understand the way you think. They way you do this is very important you need to sit with them and calmly explain everything in detail so that they understand how you feel and answer any question they ask truthfully.
BeforeSunrise94
June 14th, 2018 6:27am
The most important factors are respect and sincerity. When dealing with people of another faith, sincerity will get through to them. Just as respect will give them the opportunity to be sincere to you
Anonymous
June 20th, 2018 5:51am
Be kind and respectful, yes you may not believe in the same thing but It is still nice to respect their beliefs as they should yours
coldfaithful
June 20th, 2018 11:21am
It depends on the religion but I'd suggest sitting down with your family and conveying your thoughts respectfully. Show them your way of thinking. The most important thing to do is to be respectful.
blindIcicle1966
June 22nd, 2018 2:51pm
It sounds like maybe you are feeling judged by them? Be respectful and understanding, but expect the same respect. By embracing each other's differences, you can grow closer and still everyone can have their personal beliefs. Let them see that you are a good person, and know that they mean well, even if misguided in their behaviors towards you.
MidnightRaven999
August 12th, 2018 11:07pm
Respect their religious beliefs, but let them know that they should respect your beliefs as well, no one knows for sure who is right, and both parties deserve the same amount of respect
adoredComfort43
August 9th, 2018 8:57am
Accept that people have different beliefs regarding religion. It's perfectly okay for you to be different in that regard from your family. Make sure they're not imposing their ideals on you and vice versa, but respect each other's differences.
Anonymous
August 9th, 2018 6:25pm
Try to understand them. Don't argue with them. If they want you to believe in their religion, search about that religion. Think like that, 'I am an atheist, but what will I do if there is a God and religion? What will I do in the other world?' Use your brain and look into it. Choose the best way for you so you won't get regret. Don't read the article that wrote by atheists. I hope you can find the right way.
Chlorophyll123
September 27th, 2019 6:53pm
You do you. Let them do them.
snowflakes
September 15th, 2018 5:20pm
The answer depends on situation. Some people are mildly religious while some are more. There are even extremists. In case of extremists, it's better to hide the atheist status. In other cases if it seems safe to let them know, just talk to them and let them know your atheist status. In case they keep bugging you to change, tell them that religion should come from heart , only than will it be accepted by God. True religion is personal relationship between God and the individual. Nobody else needs to know if you believe or not believe. There's no place for a third person. People will advise you, guide you on how to be religious but nobody should force you. If they forgot their place, you don't forget yours. Just have your own belief on your life. Don't mind people.