Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
Ta
Tania
Moderated by
Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.
Top Rated Answers
So, what's done is done. You can't change what's already happened, so the best thing you can do for yourself is to pick yourself up, brush yourself off, make apologies that you mean and make sure to never repeat the same offenses. You have to accept the consequences to your actions, and although that may be hard, there's a certain kind of respect you grow for yourself living an authentic life.
Anonymous
February 16th, 2018 6:30am
First of all, accept that you have hurt them. Don't deny it forever. Accept it and apologise. Apologise to the person you hurt, because you hurt them and they deserve an apology. But also, apologise to yourself. Apologise for hurting someone and not being a kind person. Love yourself and others!
Really look back at the situation. Is it actually your fault for the problem? If so, think of solutions of how to make it up to the other person. There's always forgiveness.
Humans were never designed to be perfect. For that reason, it may be inevitable that we may hurt somebody because they are different to us and we may be unaware of what could hurt them, and that is okay. Perhaps try to communicate with the person you had hurt?
Anonymous
March 4th, 2018 5:02am
You can forgive yourself for hurting someone in he past by learning from your mistakes and limit further taunting actions and if you don't feel this is forgiving apologizing to the person you had hurt is another approach as well.
Ask forgiveness from the person, and try to kind with him everytime to compensate my past behavior or hurting him
To forgive yourself for hurting someone is a hard thing to do. Each time it is completely different because of the situation you may be in. There is no definite answer on how to forgive yourself however a great place to start is knowing that you have learnt from your mistake/hurting someone and realising that it is unhealthy to harbour these feelings towards yourself.
apologize to them and try to make it up to them
. help them in anyway possible and make them understand your point
Anonymous
November 3rd, 2018 8:30pm
I'm a big believer in the idea that you feel the way you think. Placing rigid expectations on yourself--like I must not hurt others, because doing so means I'm an awful person--can lead to extremely negative emotions (e.g., excessive guilt). To forgive yourself, evaluate your self-talk, and if needed, replace any self-defeating self-talk with helpful self-talk. I usually invite people to imagine they are listening to a friend who is going through the same thing. What kind/supportive words would you tell them? Take the words you would share with them and use them to support you. Ultimately, be a friend to you as you'd be with others, and replace any unhelpful words you might tell yourself with supportive ones.
Anonymous
July 15th, 2018 9:07am
Forgiving yourself may be one of the hardest things to do, but what you can do is confront that person face to face and say sorry or tell them how you feel. By doing this, you'll know how that person feels and it may put you at ease.
I simply say, "its over, what I did can't be undone" but, I will sure to make up to that person, let him/her feel that it was my mistake and I don't want to do it again.
I can realize that people have sensitivity levels that I may not be aware of, and I'm human. I may unintentionally say something that could be harmful to another person, but if they openly show that they are hurt I will try and fix the situation to the best of my ability. But I've learned that you can never be too hard on yourself
Anonymous
July 19th, 2018 8:52am
Hello and welcome to seven cups! I just wanted to tell you that some things are inevitable... Nobody is perfect and it is impossible to be that way. You're only human, and we all make mistakes... So please forgive yourself because you deserve that forgiveness; the fact that you feel guilty about it proves this.
Apologize to the person you wronged , admit your fault , own up to your wrongs , recognize that you can do wrong because you’re human .
you should apologize to him and tell him how you feels, you have to promise yourself that you will not hurt people anymore then you will feel better
Anonymous
August 15th, 2018 7:55am
Forgiving yourself is a hard road. Hurting someone can be extremely emotionally taxing. Try and talk to the person, and see what they have to say, if they can forgive you, then it may make it easier to forgive yourself. You made a mistake, and that is okay. You are still a good person, and accept that.
Anonymous
August 17th, 2018 12:39pm
You can talk to a lister in the 7 cups programme. You need to try and figure out what you did and why you did it. You should give this person time but after a while talk to them about what you did wrong. And never make it sound like you're blaming them. You need to love yourself with whatever way you are. And you should always try and be happy with yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. And mistakes are the things that help us learn for the future. Maybe try and talk to people who care about you or the listeners in 7 cups about what you are feeling.
What's important when it comes to self-forgiveness is to be able to have reached the point of feeling guilty in the first place; so often we fail to understand the negative responses of others towards us as consequences of our own behaviour toward them in the past. In my experience, self-forgiveness has not come easy; I have found it good and well to offer an apology, but the process of making amends has been exactly that, a process, involving actions which are demonstrably different to those I have exhibited in the past. For me it has involved being able to bear shame and to weep openly and honestly; having a confidante has been important in this, as has been the willingness to surrender to a higher power.
Hurting people is a very harsh thing to do, but it is always can be fixed. You can forgive yourself and fix this by telling them that you're wrong and admitting your faults towards them. Of course, you'll have to ask their forgiveness after that and offer the will to fix things up for them.
This will not only make you a better & honest person, but will also give you the opportunity to not to lose that person, in fact you might bring his/her friendship/relationship because you showed him/her that were responsible for your mistakes and this is the trait of a mature responsible person.
Anonymous
September 8th, 2018 5:05pm
If you want to forgive yourself for hurting someone, then you must first ask for their forgiveness. Buy it must must be a true heart felt forgiveness that truely cleanses ones heart and soul. You should discuss if possible the past hurt that was caused. However, you might be met with resistance on the others part who doesn’t wish to forgive you nor can they forgive because they don’t have the ability to. Grudges are the only thing that they understand. If that is the case then you can be at peace knowing that you have done the best you can. For now you can forgive yourself and them to if need be irrespective if they forgive you or not. Their grudge is theirs for the rest of their life.
Anonymous
September 15th, 2018 2:25am
The correct response to pain and guilt is to Learn to behave differently. This calls for some contemplation: How did I react that way? What can i do next time? What would be the best words for apology (if that is possible)?
No one is perfect, and I have made mistakes in the past and survived, but I want to be a better person, one who does not hurt others. So, I promise me this: I will do my best to Improve my Skills, and whenever possible make amends to any person I have hurt. That is all i can do, except Forgive Myself.
Anonymous
September 27th, 2018 10:53am
Many people hurt you in your lives and you swear to yourself never to forgive them, you tend to hate those that hurt you forever but at times you do that your selves unintentionally or intentionally, you hurt those who matter to you, may be you just want them to feel the pain you are going through. When you do this, the better approach is just to buy them a gift, an eatable like an ice cream is the easiest option or otherwise an accessory that can ease the tension between you, repair the damage caused by your words, heal the wounds and strengthen the bond eventually cleansing the air. This is a silent and egoistic way of saying sorry and lifting the burden on your conscience
Anonymous
September 29th, 2018 7:57pm
I try my absolute hardest to be kind and caring to them and improve their life in any way. I feel like that helps me feel better if I know that I’m a positive factor in their life. Even if that is a simple thing, like washing the dishes or tidying the apartment; I know that the little things are important. If this person is a partner, it is great to show them you care by writing them little notes around the house or cooking for them - anything to show your compassion. Everyone is human and you can’t go through life without making some mistakes.
In order to forgive yourself it is key to find the root of why you feel this way. Then think about how to overcome these fears. It is natural to hurt someone accidentally or on purpose. Sometimes you can feel guilty and feel like you’ve just lost someone who was close to you. It is best to start off by thinking more positively. Show the person that you truly feel sorry and care for them. Another option is to create some distance. Once both of you are in a calm state, it is suggested to have a heart to heart conservation if possible.
Take a breath. Put your hand on your heart. Do you feel that? That is purpose. You are human. I am human. Humans make mistakes, every single one of us. Did you learn from your mistake? The important thing is that we learn from our mistakes. Unfortunately, we hurt people. And people hurt us. A part of life is accepting that and learning how to move on. There are various methods, some include: writing letters to yourself or the person you hurt (you don't have to give it to them), you could try some physical activities like going to the gym to release endorphins. The most important thing is to understand you made a mistake, accept responsibility and then you can start to heal and move on.
if you hurt someone it must have been for a good reason i would suggest if you are having trouble forgiving yourself, say to yourself if you were standing in your friends shoes and heard the conversation that you had then what would you tell yourself? observation from afar is good because you see the whole picture and hear every detail of the conversation so you can tell the person that you are sorry for what you said and tell them that it hurt you to hurt them. if i hurt someone i would feel bad and try to change things between us so there is no hurt.
Just remember that in moments, often times we are just doing the best we can with what we've been given. So try to be patient with yourself as you're learning how sometimes the way you react isn't appropriate. And being honest with the person you hurt will help them see that you're only human, too! Definitely easier said than done I'm afraid, but so worth it. If you genuinely care about their well being, the best thing you can do is apologize sincerely and then let them know what frame of mind you were in during the situation. Then they can choose to forgive you, and you'll have a clear conscience too!
Guilt is a very difficult emotion. I am a guilty person and hate when I hurt people. You need to accept the mistake and work through your emotions. It's great to acknowledge them but then you might want to discern if you want to rebuild or move on from who you've hurt. Only then will you get closure and when you do, that is key in finally being able to forgive yourself. Then finally you could, but your own situation may denote some factors of guilt and forgiveness. If it's a stranger, an apology will suit - if family or friends you may need time.
Anonymous
August 22nd, 2019 1:44am
I feel like that's a difficult thing to accomplish. Despite someone forgiving us for our actions, we still have this sense of guilt that lingers for a long time. It is important to remember that you need to acknowledge your mistake, and think of it as an experience that you have learned from. Most importantly you need to give yourself time to heal. It is always difficult to forgive yourself for hurting someone simply because you are you worst critic, but rather than criticising yourself, try to understand that you're only human and we all make mistakes that we can't take back.
The first and only real step is forgiving yourself, if you can't forgive yourself you will ever be able to move on - once you get through that you will be able to fully forgive the situation but rember you have to work on you first becuase if you let yourself go you could fall into depressio and then that would be really bad so remeber forgive youself ad then forgive your situation and then hopefully prayerfully youll be able to full acess the situation, If you need ayone to talk to I'm here just message me < Have a good day!
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