Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How to forgive yourself for hurting someone?

304 Answers
Last Updated: 05/23/2022 at 11:37pm
How to forgive yourself for hurting someone?
Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
Ta Tania
5 star rating
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 7th, 2017 8:14am
Think of others who may have forgiven you in your life and try and show yourself the same compassion you have been shown!
awesomeHorizon02
February 11th, 2018 8:42pm
Try to help people, youll see that you mafe more good than bad and youll feel great, also you can try to spend more time on volunteering as a listener at 7cups
GxStephie
February 9th, 2018 12:06am
If possible, apologize to the person that you hurt. This may show the person that you regret hurting them, and they may forgive you. You yourself need to accept that you did something wrong but you must promise to not make the same mistake again.
ArjunAttam
February 8th, 2018 6:34pm
Nobody is perfect. Instead of feeling guilty we should try to work hard on not repeating the mistake
Anonymous
February 7th, 2018 8:12pm
So many people struggle with exactly this. People always focus on the victims and sometimes forget that it can be just as difficult on the other end. Just remember this, as cliche as it might sound. You are going to mess up in life because everybody messes up. There you go: everybody makes mistakes. There's no use beating yourself up about it because you can't go back and undo it, you can only learn from it.
N0ah97
June 8th, 2017 9:25pm
Say sorry, and then remind your self, that everybody makes mistakes. We do have to make mistakes to learn something. Accept that you've done something wrong, give your self time to be mad about it, but also give your self time to let it go.
PosiPotato
February 4th, 2018 3:00am
Try to re-channel your energy into how you can prevent this feeling in the future. What lessons were learned? What would you do differently in the future?
heyitssoph126
June 16th, 2017 5:31am
Apologize sincerely to that person, try find a time & work it out w/them. Don't beat yourself up too hard over the matter. People make mistakes and as long as you learnt from it, that's another important point too :)
Allerhelp12
January 30th, 2018 1:38pm
let them go, and move on find someone and talk about your problems to them let it all go and maybe have freedom and feel better
JeshuaMorbus
January 18th, 2018 5:21pm
Standing up and asking for forgiveness to the one you harmed. You identify with your victim, because you don't want suffer the same they have suffered so, if you really feel that way, you should talk it with the one affected. You cannot achieve much by closing inside yourself.
MollyCule
January 6th, 2018 6:30pm
This is a toughie. All I can suggest is to remember that you are only human — we’ve all hurt people, and we’ve all been hurt. But in spite of the mistakes you’ve made, they do not define you. You are not your choices. You matter, and you are worthy of forgiveness, especially your own.
nyanmeowmeow
December 23rd, 2017 12:54pm
Experience is nothing without mistakes and once you are aware that you've hurt someone, it's very easy to dump all of the blame on yourself. It will soon become apparent that you are the only one pointing the finger at yourself; if other people are blaming you, they will forget if not forgive over time. You have to learn from the moral of your mistake and take it along with you, not the blame but the knowledge and experience. With that, you can strive to avoid more mistakes and become a better person.
Anonymous
December 8th, 2017 8:44pm
Know that we all make mistakes and what happened had happened you cannot change what you did. But you can start over in a blank paper. If you can't rewrite what you did you still can write something new. Something good and beautiful. If you hurt someone then don't hurt anyone else again. Not just that but also be kind and take initiatives to help others and care about them always whisper to yourself "Be gentle " "Be gentle "also prevent other people from get hurt. Always remember you cannot change what you did. But you can control what you will do
supersensitiveStrength
December 3rd, 2017 7:03am
One way is to make amends to that person. But if that is not possible, sometimes it's enough to avoid hurting someone else in the same way and recognizing both your limitations and the things you actually can do. Also, a good mindset to develop is valuing relationships over individual actions. Even if you make up for things but still see the rapport as a score sheet--getting -1 for hurting them and +1 for doing a good deed to them--even if you reach a balance of 0 or stack a +x number of good deeds, you will always feel bad because you're depending on the numbers. Forgiveness is less about acts, more about relationships--with others or with yourself.
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2017 10:48pm
Take the responsibility, empathise and think about why it happened. Then you are ready to be forgiven
DreamsOfWonders21
October 22nd, 2017 12:38am
It will take time to heal and forgive yourself. Just know if they can forgive so can you. Yes it takes time but in the end it will be worth it.
Anonymous
November 12th, 2017 6:07am
-Ask yourself why you did it -understand your motives -realize the faults in your actions -know that you can't undo your actions, but you can make better decisions in the future
peacefulHeart33
November 12th, 2017 3:11pm
Know that in your weakest moments, you also hurt or disappoint people even if you don't want to. Try to move past it, don't dwell on it, and strive hard not to commit the same mistakes all over again.
Anonymous
October 14th, 2017 5:50pm
Try and be a better person overall. Especially to that person, if you are still in contact. Tell yourself, you're not gonna do what you did again because you don't want to hurt anyone or yourself because in the end, you suffered from guilt and regret. Compassion all around!
FakzWift
November 15th, 2017 3:15pm
Everyone hurts someone once in awhile. But that doesn't mean you should think about it all the time. The best way i forgive myself is just to apologise to the person i hurt.
blissfulEars16
June 3rd, 2017 6:33am
Starts with openly admiring your hurt to another. Once you have forgiven yourself you must then ask the person you hurt to forgive you. Forgiveness is a powerful tool. You are able to release that weight that has been following you for sometime. You will find you are able to breath. Now just because you ask for forgiveness doesn't mean you will be forgiven. You have to be prepared for someone saying they don't forgive you. It may take them sometime or they may never fully forgive you. Understand that's their right. You can't force forgiveness. You have to be ready for that side of forgiveness. But as long as you have forgiven yourself and made the right decision to make your actions and choice right...then you are forgiven.
Anonymous
October 6th, 2017 12:25pm
Talk to yourself and make yourself believe that nobody is perfect and its all right to make mistakes sometimes. And the best way to correct it is realise the mistake and apologise and to the person you hurt and to yourself and feel better about it.
lovatsbian
September 20th, 2017 4:16pm
it's best to realize that you are, after all, only human. You will make mistakes because in truth, we all do. You should never punish yourself for your mistakes though, because we all make them. Typically, we tend to be less lenient on ourselves when we'd forgive our loved ones in a heartbeat, but you should forgive yourself with the same passion.
Anonymous
September 13th, 2017 7:53pm
Remember that everyone is probably guilty of hurting others. Be encouraged that you care so much about another's pain. Concentrate on what good you can do for them now!
Anonymous
August 30th, 2017 3:05am
Forgiving yourself for hurting someone is really tricky. For me, in order to forgive myself I need to make sure that the person I hurt knows I am sorry and regretful of what happened, whether or not they choose to accept it.
pantspants
August 18th, 2017 9:37pm
In my personal experience, it was hard to forgive myself, a lot of people will say with time it will come, but with time not only do we realize what we have done but it necessary we give ourselves that, if we try to forgive ourselves right away it may be hard, it was what I did and it took time, we should let it come to us and journal down or mock draft our feelings about the situation daily to see how it changes.
NotAGod
November 22nd, 2017 2:58am
You don't want to do it again, right? You regret it, right? Accept what you did was wrong and then move past it to move onwards. You don't want it to happen again. We're human, we make mistakes but we learn from them - to be better. Be better afterwards, that's when you know you'll forgive yourself.
shadygirl0526
July 7th, 2017 1:46pm
Acceptance. Accept all your mistakes. Do you feel guilty enough? Have you tried to approach them to explain yourself?
Mityvac
November 19th, 2017 12:29pm
Start by asking forgiveness to the person you hurt. The next thing to do is accept what you did but forgive yourself for doing it. It's the past.
Maddlyyy
July 13th, 2017 7:52am
Understand you're only human. We all make mistakes and everyone has the chance to be forgiven. Don't be afraid to apologize to them.