My friend is always negative towards me. What do I do?
275 Answers
Last Updated: 05/14/2022 at 3:18am
Moderated by
Kacey Oliver, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I specialize in depression and anxiety disorders. I offer warmth and compassion, cognitive behavioral therapy, along with mindfulness for a successful therapeutic outcome.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 14th, 2018 9:42am
You can talk to him/her about it. Maybe he/she doesn’t want to offend you or push you away. If you are at school or at work maybe they’re stressed.
Anonymous
March 6th, 2022 7:47pm
Find out what your friend is feeling about themselves. People are often negative towards aspects they see in others and that they feel strongly about. This may be because they see themselves reflected in this and feely upset about what they are being reminded about. Bullies' behaviour works to a similar system - they attack those they see are weaker because they see something familiar and are embarrassed of that aspect of their own personality. Compassion for your friend will allow you to ask what is wrong in your friend's life. You can support them through whatever difficulty they are experiencing and build a stronger bond with them.
Anonymous
June 14th, 2018 8:12pm
I’ve been through something exactly like this before. I would try to give your friend some space to start with and try to see what the cause of this is. Surround yourself with positive people in life and if this person isn’t doing this you need to change who you’re talking to. Give it time as it heals most things
Try asking your friend what is causing her/him to be negative around you. Clarify the situation and ask if it can be fixed. Find a solution.
It sounds like this person is taking quite the toxic toll on your life, and that's never a good thing! Toxic people can be quite cruel and damaging, however this is your friend so perhaps they do not even know how damaging their comments/actions are towards you. Perhaps you could talk to them and let them know that their comments are not welcome and that you do not need negativity in your life but would rather focus on the positives (In a kind way). Sometimes people don't think before they speak so they do not even know of the damage they cause, always voice your mind when you need something done/changed for the betterment of yourself. Peaceful wishes xx
Anonymous
June 30th, 2018 7:29am
I would not have a person that is negative in my friend circle. Even if that mean creating a new circle. No one has time for that. Live and let live. Agree to disagree if that the only option in keeping the peace. Two negatives can never be positive. But if you continue to focus your life on the positive. The negative is lees affective.
Anonymous
February 27th, 2022 1:54pm
We all have different personalities and therefore our perceptions of events and behaviours may vary. Your friend may not be aware of the effect of their behaviour on you. If this relationship is really important to you try explaining how you feel to them. If you notice an improvement then you can use that to decide where your friendship stands. If this person continues to treat you badly then you may have to consider if their presence in your life as a friend is offering you what you are really looking for. You can get some advice on how best to approach the situation by speaking to a professional.
setting boundaries is the best thing to learn when it comes to negative people. It can be hard at first and takes a couple tries but after you get it it is great. sometimes if the friend doesnt understand, They will be a little shocked unfortuantly if that is the case then they were more then likely never a friend to begin with. also telling them how you feel is a great way to overcome fear. fear can sometimes be driven when we dont want to hurt the other persons feelings. at the end of the day we want to make sure that we come first
You can choose to confront them about it and ask if you did something wrong or if they're going through something in their life. Sometimes the problem may not be you, but perhaps they're projecting their negativity towards you because they're going through something that they're not comfortable sharing with you directly. This is an unhealthy method of channeling their negative energy, so maybe consider asking them about it.
Anonymous
July 6th, 2018 5:11pm
Talk to your friend and ask them why. They may be going through some things at the moment. However, if things do not change and it’s making you feel horrible and unhappy, then you should end the friendship. It’s not a healthy friendship if it makes you miserable.
Anonymous
July 8th, 2018 7:57am
First, think of any reason as to why they would be mad at you. Still no clue? Confront them and ask.
If he/she is your friend that means you share a good relation. There must be some reason they are acting negative towards you. You can talk to them about this matter. You can ask them "what makes them feel Negative about you?". There might be some misunderstanding, or you can explain things better to them. If there is something wrong on which you both can work together. Hope it helps, best of luck!
Sit down together and discuss how he or she is making you feel tell them that this is becoming an issue maybe bring it into conversation when you feel that the time is right. I am sorry that your going through this though. Maybe do something go out somewhere or even sit down and have a cup of tea and discuss how your feeling if there a good friend to you and you mean something to them then I do not think it will be a problem. I can understand how your friend being negative all the time could effect you it cant be easy I do hope that you get this issue sorted.
Sometimes people get themselves into a negative pattern and sometimes I think if things aren't going well for them they start to take it out on you. I do sometimes think that being positive can attract the negative in people and I am not really sure why. This day and age it feels that people thrive on negative things. One reason I think people can be negative all the time is, well it sounds funny but humans are naturally problem solvers and when everything is positive and going well, there is no problem to solve. But I do also think that people don't always realize they are being negative.
You should speak to your friend if she is being really negative towards you and tell her how you feel. You shouldnt have to put up with people who put you down. If she continues to be like this, you should seriously consider finding a new friend who supports you in all that you do!!
Be Honest But Gentle, Tough but fair make a list of what good things this friend has done or been for you VS Bad Things
Nobody deserves to be treated in a negative way and when it comes to friends, they are the ones with whom you share some bond and their negative behavior could really affect you. The first step is always about acknowledging and though it's sad to find your own friend behaving in such a way, it's good that you at least recognized that something's wrong. There are a variety of steps you could take further. Maybe thinking about the situations again and acknowledging what exactly makes it seem negative could help? Maybe asking the person about the reasons that caused them to behave in that way and then taking steps further could be another thing? Maybe talking it out with the person could help you understand their behavior in a better way and maybe that could make it clear if it's a misunderstanding? Other than that a lot of people consider taking a step back and recognizing whom they need most, this could also be called ending the friendship if you find it toxic but in some cases you may not want to lose contact with the person and want to understand their side as well which is a good thing but if it's affecting you a bit much then there's nothing wrong in taking a break and talking to the person once you feel it's alright to do so. Also to add on, make sure that it's not your fault that they are behaving in such manner with you so please make sure to not to blame yourself for anything and to take care of yourself while marking your steps ahead!
Anonymous
July 19th, 2018 6:58pm
Try writing a letter to them explaining how it makes you feel, that way you have complete control in what you say since it is pre-planned.
i suppose they're not really going to be aware of their own behaviour until someone brings it up to them. might be worth flagging it up with them as politely as possible to see if they might start to watch the things they say a little more. if they react negatively to that, then maybe consider whether or not this is the type of friend you'd like to have around. not that i'm saying to go around cutting people out ruthlessly! just maybe make a good attempt to reason with them first, and if it seems like actually, they're just a negative or mean-spirited person, then there's not a whole lot you can do to change that other than to ask them to work on themselves
Their behave comes across as toxic . Would you consider talking to them about it and See how they react ? If they are understanding, they might not realize what they are doing. Tell them how you want to be treated. See if they respect you. If they get defensive or start gaslighting you, that could be a sign to keep a bit of a distance. There are some narcissistic people out there, who are very charming but don't care about anyone other than themselves. They use people. If your friend fits this description it might be time to move on. But talk to your friend, they might not know what they are doing is wrong and maybe they would improve. In case they are really being negative, you are probably better off them.
Friends should be supportive and kind to you. If your friend is being negative it may be time to assess whether cutting them off is a valid possibility. Cutting out toxicity can be very difficult but is also extremely important to do. If it's a sudden change in your friend's personality, though, something may be going on at home or elsewhere. While it does not excuse their mistreatment towards you, it may be something to investigate before just cutting them out. While it's never easy to do, try and read the situation, you know them and the situation best, what do you think has happened? Has something changed? Have they always been negative towards you?
Anonymous
December 5th, 2018 7:02pm
I will show that they are no help with my problems or that i yalk abot and tell them the honest truth that they are negative towards me even though they are my friend they should help me instead of hurting me in any way and if they stay negative they are no friend towards me in any way even though we help eachother negativity is not the way to go no matter if i care for them they cant show that negativity towards me or others and i will also tell then that every negative thought will hurt me in everyway
1. Identify why your friend is behaving that way.
2. If you find out a cause, try to communicate to them about it,
3. If there is no cause or particular reason, it is best you do what will ensure your good well-being. Even if it involves maintaining a distance from your friend, do that. It will help them realize that their behaviour towards you is not justified.
I would recommend you to draw boundaries and do not let anybody; be it friend or relative, to invade that. You deserve to be loved, appreciated and valued. People who treat you otherwise do not recognize your worth. Hence, it is better to draw boundaries.
Anonymous
April 15th, 2021 6:57pm
You deserve supportive and loving friends so surround yourself with such folks i know it may be hard at first but you need to let go of toxic people but first try consulting this friend try asking them their reasons for such behaviour towards explain them why it hurts you and why should they change it it is possible they do it without realising but once you make them realise and they still continue it its better to walk away from such people. And don't worry about people not liking you or ending up alone you will find people you truly deserve
Anonymous
December 16th, 2018 1:07pm
It never hurts to have a conversation with your friend and tell them how you are feeling and how their comments affect you. Asking them why can help both of you realise if there are any other underlying issues and will help you both to move forward. It is really important to be calm and rational because at the moment you don't know the whole story, it wouldn't be useful for any of you go raging at each other. If your friend continues after you talk to them a couple times you Cana lways ask an adult or another friend to help.
Don't destroy yourself by allowing negative people to affect your positive personality. Negative as a person they may be, it is paramount – if not only for our own healthy and sanity – to resolve the situation in an intelligent and healthy way. First, don't let them get to you. Don't take anything they say personally. Create your own positive environment.The problem with taking things personally with a negative person is that it doesn’t lead anywhere. The only possible outcome is a perceived “victory,†that they’ve managed to “hook†you.
Also, be compassionate towards your friend. Not every negative person intentionally acts negatively. For whatever reason, they’ve simply adopted a negative mindset. So you can just give them a compassionate ear and try to instill positivity in them, if they still continue to behave this way, you might as well stay away from them.
I think that the best thing you could do is to tell them that you are bothered by their negative attitude toward you, and maybe talk it out. If the friend in question has issues, lashing out at others is not a healthy outlet, and you are definitely not at fault for any of it. On the other hand, if the friend ignores you and your request, it is safe to say that they are not such a good friend to you, and maybe it would be better to distance yourself, at least for a bit, in order to see how things progress. Take care!
Negativity from any source will overtake other aspects of your life. It is important to identify how they're being negative. Think of situations where they were negative and think of ways their actions could have been positive. After evaluating their negativity, think about how it has affected other aspects of your life. At this point it may be beneficial to confront your friend about it. Outline ways in which you've felt negativity from them and then try and propose positive ways they could behave towards you instead. If this doesn't work, do what you need to do to ensure you interact with them as little as possible. You don't need that negativity in your life. Surround yourself with positivity and people who live a positive lifestyle and will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Anonymous
January 2nd, 2021 7:44pm
friends are here to help us and love us and support us. if your friend is being negitive and snobby towards you and not anyone else then chances are theyre the problem and not you. negativity stems from plenty of different things none which are good. hate, jelousy, envy, ect. find a new friend who enjoys your company. time is non replaceable to be carful who you give your time to. spending time with negitive people can change you into bad habits. you start being negitive towards your friends all because of this one person
I would confront them about and tell them exactly how I feel. You should be honest as you don't want this to carry on. It's not good for your mental health. It could really impact the way you feel and put your mood down.
If they don't listen then I would stop talking to this friend. You should have positive vibes around you and someone who will be there for you during hard times.
Don't be saddened if this was your very close friend, you will make many more who will treat you better. It's so important to have a positive support system.
Talk to an expert therapist
I’ve been working with HrahamBarron CHP for just a week, but I already feel a...
Reviewed Nov 2, 2024
Talk to Graham NowRelated Questions: My friend is always negative towards me. What do I do?
Why is everyone around me always being so mean? Everyone in school thinks I am bitter. How can I change their minds?How do I know if I'm a bully?How to get my parents to stand up for me against bullies instead of apologizing to avoid any confrontation?How to deal with people that are bad mouthing me?How do you effectively confront people who are spreading negative rumors about you?Why would someone who is already in pain wish to inflict it upon others?How do you get over the feeling that people are laughing at you?What's the difference between bullying and teasing?My husband makes fun of my child's weight. What am I supposed to do?