Spying on ex's social media - since my breakup I can't stop from monitoring. Is that okay?

No this is extremely unhealthy and it only brings you misfortune, jealousy and sadness. Do yourself a favor and uninstall your social media for a while. Tell your closest friends and family you're taking a short break and no cheating. You need time to find things you enjoy besides spying on others lives because you want to see their life fail without you with them.

Personally I believe that spying on ex's social media is the worst thing you could do for your mental health. If your breakdown has already happened and you're sure it's permanent - you should start your way to build a new independent life, even if your life was built all-around that person before. Even if it seems impossible at the moment - try to think of your life before you met your ex. Was it different? What are the things you enjoyed the most when you were alone? Maybe there're some activities you had to cancel because of your relationship or probably some people you loved to communicate in the past? Think of your past as an useful experience to become a new, improved person that will be successful and beloved in the future. Spying on your ex will eliminate all of the efforts to change your life, because you can't build your new future if you're going to keep living in the past memories and feelings. Try to refrain yourself from keeping the track of your ex' life - that will help you to accept this loss and it could be the first, but the most significant step to your bright future.

how does this make you feel it is right to do this maybe find other activities to occupy your mind breakups are always hard

Ok first of all I get how u feel and I know that even if u aren't going out with him u still care and u still have feelings for that person and at the beginning it's normal to spy and to make sure that person is ok but don't hurt yourself more don't stay stuck at the past don't break your heart even more move on cuz both of y'all deserve to find someone that will make y'all happy and even if it hurts its time to move on and to let go there is someone better for u put there waiting to find u

I have been in the exact same situation and I am here to say it's not good for your self esteem and can only make you feel worse. Time WILL heal everything but you need to do some work as well. I would block your ex from any social media and work on yourself.

After a breakup, it can be very difficult to let go of someone especially if we were very close and in love with that person. While it can be unhealthy in the long run in terms of letting go and moving forward, it can help us feel better at the time of the heart break. Even I look back sometimes but it becomes less and less overtime as I learn to let go of that person and move on to new opportunities. Best of luck to you!

If you want to move on from him/her, doing this will not help, but if you don't let it effect you, monitor away! ;)

no you shouldnt keep checking i guess its only natural especially after a long lasting one you wanna know if shes moved on but dont check it means you are still wanting her and she might take that for grantage

It will be okay to still be attached or concerned to your ex because he/she was someone you loved at one point and you are still working to get over it. Eventually, you will make the effort to accept the end of the relationship and move past it.

It is ok to do this and most people do. It is a difficult habit to stop because you were both very important to each other, and you probably still both care about each other! Who wouldn't want to know what their ex is up to! Having said this from personal experience I know that checking an ex's social media accounts regularly after a breakup can prevent people from moving on, and may cause a lot of pain if you see something that hurts you. So trying to resist this urge can be helpful to take care of yourself. Remember that what people show on social media is not always an accurate representation of their lives. So even if you do check, and see that your ex has a new partner, it doesn't tell the whole story. They may be using this person to get over you, or they may be secretly unhappy with their new partner, we just don't know. I can also tell you that they will still think about you now and in the future regardless of how they move on because you shared a part of your life together. Try to focus on yourself right now and be very gentle with yourself! If you give in to the urge to look at their social media accounts forgive yourself, and try to resist next time. Over time I promise you the urge to check them will decrease. It may take a long time, but it will decrease and you will be happier! The best way to resist this urge in the short term is to fill your time with activities and people who care about you, and putting yourself out there to meet new people. Try to talk to your parents, friends, and others about something other than your ex. Try to go outside with others and do something that doesn't involve your ex!

It's an unhealthy and unproductive thing to do. Unfortunately, this person has made the decision to step out of your life and you should respect their decision. The sooner you stop monitoring them online, the less you will think about them about them and the quicker you will move on. It's hard - we all get a weird satisfaction out of torturing ourselves - but you will be better off in the long term and will be able to return to your own life sooner. Good luck.

A breakup is surely not an easy thing to get over and move on from. You probably don't feel like you can right now. The pain is still there and it may feel like it is everywhere. Though it seems like deep inside you don't feel right about the obsessive monitoring. Your gut feeling might be telling you that it might be making things worse and not allowing you the distance to properly heal. So, this is not a question about whether it's okay or not. What really matters is that constantly checking in on ex's social media will prolong your pain. Ask yourself why you are checking on them? Do you want to see them move on? Do you want to see them suffer? Do you want to find they are happy or miserable? Work with these answers to help you move on.

Not really. You should disconnect maybe even delete them. You should move on and be happy and learn to live without them

I have some experiencing with exactly this. It's important to remember that it is unfair to bring that baggage from the previous relationship to your current one. In my personal experience, after being cheated on I went through a similar situation and got caught spying on my significant other's accounts, it was not pretty, and that damaged the relationship more than either party ever desired. Fast forward to the present, now I am in a marriage I have learned that trusting your significant other is key and unless they give you a reason to do otherwise, always do your best to give the benefit of the doubt to any intrusive thoughts you may have. Trust is a solid foundation to any relationship. Just my $0.02 based on my past.

Spying on their accounts may leave little room for you to move on. Not checking the accounts will allow you to worry less. Out of sight, out of mind.

It's okay for starting. It's really hard to deal with breakup specially the starting phase is really tough once you move on with your life you won't spy on social media

Does it feel okay to you? It seems like you might not be asking the question if it did. Trust your gut feeling about what you're doing. If it feels wrong, it's probably not what you want for yourself.

It is completely normal to still be interested in how is the person you've been so close with doing, how is his/her life after all. However, it should be taken in account that this could result negatively on you. There is going to be a variety of posts which will not make you happy if you still have any feelings to this person. For example, seeing that your ex is moving on can result in sadness, irritation, frustration and dozens of other negative emotions and feelings. In my opinion, staying interested in the ex's social media account is not bad, if it is healthy and not crossing the line (so not causing you any negative emotions). However, if this becomes constant stalking it is not really okay. It is better to try to clear your head, distract you with something, take up a new hobby or just do something, which is pleasant and interesting to you. These could also help you to move on, so in a couple of weeks or months your "spying" could turn into healthy interest of how is your ex doing. And maybe even being happy seeing her/him moving on.

Being concerned about a past relationship is definitely normal, however if it's been months and you still find yourself viewing his/her page everyday, try to maybe limit yourself to once or twice a week or every couple of weeks. Continue to space this out and distance it farther apart until you completely forget to do it!

NO. I strongly feel that it will not resolve your problems. You should distract yourself and indulge yourself in some other activity.

If he/she has moved on and there is no chance that you will be in a relationship with him/her, what's the point of spying on the profile? Well, in the initial stages of breakup, it's not abnormal to spy on those profiles. But, if you have been doing the same for some months, you definitely need some help my friend.

If your ex moved on from the relationship, it's probably healthiest for you to as well. They say that looking in the rearview mirror has a downside...you're missing the view through the windshield! Look forward and enjoy what the future has to offer!

honestly its not ok..for one its envasion and its really saying that you dont trust them..i have done that before and honestly its kind of a painful thing

To be honest, i think it's okay to do this. It takes time to eventually get over someone. In due time you will realise he/she isn't worth it and you will finally move on...

It's normal but you need to lessen and to stop doing that..Because if you won't, you will end up being sad and you won't be able to move on...Try to do other things that will keep you busy and refrain from doing that

Maybe it's an idea to think about why you feel the need to monitor their social media and justify for yourself if it's okay or not. What is it you're hoping to see or gain from doing it, and is it helpful to you in moving on or wherever it is that you're hoping to go with your life. If it's holding you back from moving on, is it the best thing? If it's helping you to move on, what's the end result you're hoping for? Some things to consider - look at it being more helpful to you as opposed to it being okay in the eyes of other people.

If your ex's social media is public and you aren't hacking accounts, then it isn't wrong. But is it right for you? If you find yourself obsessed over what your ex is doing, it's probably unhealthy. If you still talk to your ex, you could ask them what is new in their lives. If you don't talk to them at all, you may be trying to hold onto some sort of a relationship. Consider looking at 'Understanding Breakups' in our Self-Help section. Good luck!

It's okay to be curious about what your ex is up to and I'd be lying if I said I have never looked at an ex's profile after we broke up! But looking at your ex's social media also may not be good for you. If your always being reminded of what he's up to and who he's with you may find it harder to get over him. Try blocking him or deleting him from your social media if you can't stop yourself from looking at his stuff - it's hard though.

I think that there's nothing wrong with it as long as it doesn't effect you in some negative way. If it makes you mad or sad, I would try to stop.

Its totally okay. But try to get over them soon. Delete any photos, messages, anything that reminds you of them. It'll help big time