Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

I love two different people. What should I do?

185 Answers
Last Updated: 05/22/2022 at 6:12am
Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
Ta Tania
5 star rating
Moderated by

Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
December 9th, 2020 7:03pm
Loving two different people is not inherently an issue unless it is distressing to you. There are many relationship styles (which are alternatives to monogamy) in which it is permissible to legitimately, honestly, and openly love more than one person. If you feel monogamy isn't right for you or doesn't make sense for you right now, you might consider researching polyamory or open relationships. Both are relationship styles that can be negotiated and configured (with your chosen partners) to allow for love of more than one person at a time. Alternately, if you feel monogamy is your preferred style, it may be best to be honest with yourself so that you can be honest with those you care about. Sometimes honest communication can help you gain clarity. If that isn't an option, journaling can help you sort through your feelings until you are able to make a decision that works best for you.
SunshineandJazz
January 20th, 2022 12:49pm
That is a very possible thing to happen and that does not mean that you are a terrible person for feeling that way. Nowadays, it has become more and more acceptable to identify as polyamorous – poly meaning "many" and amorous meaning "love". You may very well be one of those people and that is completely fine to be. Unfortunately, you must also prepare yourself to be rejected on all fronts because we still live in a traditionalist world. The first thing you need to do is to reflect upon yourself. Ask these questions – do you *really* love *both* these two people? *Why* do you love them? Do the both of them emit the same feelings within you – the way that you feel when you love someone? Positive responses to these questions can help you decide whether you are poly or not. Then, take the next step of being totally and completely honest with all parties involved because a key piece of being successfully polyamorous is honesty. Polyamorous people and relationships can and have been successful. However, like all relationships, they take work but, polyamorous people have a higher likelihood of experiencing heartbreak due to navigating multiple relationships. There are many resources on the internet about being polyamorous and I highly suggest going through them!
archiesnapx
February 16th, 2022 4:07pm
Figure out a list of pros and cons and how each individual affects your life personally, then you would be able to come upon a certain conclusion and give yourself some closure. Dont force yourself to feel emotions if you're not up to it. Do not over think it too much either, because honestly that never helps. It all comes down to who is the person that you see yourself having engaging conversations that keep you on your toes till the end of time while you grow old together. But most importantly, throughout this process, remember to never hate yourself.
TedxRobin
April 22nd, 2022 2:46pm
Assume both cheated on you. Both of them are drowning..... You got one rope long enough to help only one. Person whom you will like to save even after they did wrong to you... Is the one you love the most. As you know the person you love the most is the one you care about the most unconditionally. So all you gotta do is trust your heart over it. Now imagine same but this time put yourself at their place.... Which one is gonna save you? The person who truly loves you will help you. If both of situation result in same person.... That's probably the one you should be with.
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2022 3:51pm
It's normal to love many different people. If it were me, I would view the two people and differentiate the types of love I have for these people. One I may love in a more romantic fashion, while, the other person, I may love in a more platonic, friendly way. If I loved the both of them in romantic ways, I would look at the qualities of the persons. I would examine the type of and depth of the relationships we have, and decide between which I felt more strongly for. I would look at their personality and character, and how well we get along together.