How do you deal with the temptation to contact your ex?

It can be very hard for some people. The connection you have with someone doesn't instantly go away, so you start to miss them. That's natural. But it' s important to remember the reason he/she is your ex in the first place. It's better to contact a close friend before going that route. Talking to someone you trust. Distracting yourself with other activities such as going on a hike of the park or walking your dog. Watch a movie. But try not to do things that remind you of that person. Explore other or new hobbies that you can enjoy by yourself.

I have had very serious breakups and thus have never had the urge to contact my ex. But whenever i felt so i reminded myself why we were not together anymore. I am cool with a some exes but not with everyone. Some are so old that there is no bad blood between us anymore. But some have been traumatic enough for me to never have tried to contact me. Also calling your bestfriend when you feel like contacting your ex is also a good way to get yourself to clearly see what is wrong and riGHT AND REFRAIN YOURSELF.

Think about the reason why would you want to reach out? Will it be positive? There might be so manny reason to want to do it, while experimenting withdrawing for a separation, be kind to yourself if you somehow know it might not be positive to reach out try and go out with friends, focus on your self in a loving, caring way do the things you love to do and makes you feel good, learn something new, practice some sport/ exercise, volunteer, read a book you always were curious about this will help you feel a sense of control, and help you feel you are in your way to gain balance in your life again.

I try to reach out to uplifting friends or family. I don't even have to tell them what's going on, but just making a real connection can remind me that I have good people in my life and that I decided not to have certain people in my life for a reason. Also being gentle with yourself is important. It's not easy to get over emotions and even if it's been a long time those can still come back and that's okay. It's hard not giving in, but when you feel confident in yourself and your choices, it's just a little less hard.

Thank you for reaching out! I understand from personal experience that having this urge to message an ex can be very difficult to resist. The temptation to contact your ex is like rewatching the same movie and expecting a different end. You ask yourself, Is it going to end the same way? It’s really easy to say move forward from your life and do not go back to that pathway. Emotions after a break-up can be really raw. Your ex may have been the one that had broken up with you which is why it’s difficult to forget what you feel for them and move on from the feeling or perhaps there was some regret on breaking up if you both broke up on your terms. You may want to ask yourself how you both handled the break up. Were they your first relationship and so that’s why it’s a challenge? Did things end in bad terms, things were said that were mean and you want your ex to forgive you or you want your ex to apologise? What about your ex is tempting you to contact them? Looking into your ex’s social media is very unlikely to do you any favors emotionally as it will just remind you of how much you miss them or how awful of an impression they have given you. They may be dating newer people and this can leave you having trouble with accepting this as you did not choose to break up with them. So unfollowing them on social media can help with your healing process and also having a chat with friends too that have been in relationships that did not go well. You need to feel you are not alone in your emotions! There are support organisations you can look into such as Relate which provides support on relationship stress and breakups for more information. You are also welcome to communicate with one of our amazing listeners and therapists on our site for a listening ear.

I really understand the pain of going through that. If I had really loved My ex his happiness should always be my happiness too and if they are feeling happy without me in their life I think they should be set free and moreover I feel I need to respect my self respect. consider my mental health and peace as my first priority. I should also learn from this lesson of life and correct my mistake and strive to be a better person. Remembering that these are all a part of life it might be really seems hard right now but definitely it is making me a stronger and better person

You have the urge to contact your ex which I can understand. It can be difficult. After a break up or separation, you have feelings for them and that is completely natural. It may be a good idea to ask yourself, what are the reasons you want to contact them. It can also be a good idea to talk with someone about this who understands you. If you think you are unable to move on, you can read some books on break up or see a therapist. Please know that what you are going through happens in most post-relationships. If you have some questions to ask them to clear some matter or issues, you may contact them as well. You can even imagine having a imaginary discussion with your ex alone with yourself. I hope it helps. 😊

I remember how far I have came. I reflect on the pain that has shaped who I am today but I do not allow temptation to define me or define my progress. I remember to stay in the moment and keep myself busy. It is hard to overcome temptations in general and temptation in terms of contacting an ex.. well.. remember they are an ex for a reason. I think something that really helps me get through those low moments or times I feel temptation or impulsive is journal writing. Journal writing allows me to be free and myself.

To deal with the temptations you have to get logical about them. Firstly, these temptations strongly comes from the fact that the ex were part of your life just yesterday and now your mind and emotions and even routine has a void space that needs to be filled in. These temptations urge you to feel the emotions or feelings that were part of good days. You might want to check up on them because it had become a habit to do so. These emotions and time are void mostly because the way we feel about each individual is different and thus people are always told to ACCEPT and heal. Those emotions and moments cannot be relived with someone else with the same frequency but to deal with these temptations you have to bring back why are you here in the first place. Because if they did care and were good for you, you wouldnt be here thinking all this.

When I experience the temptation of wanting to talk to my ex, I remind myself that we broke up and no longer chatted for a reason. Things didn't work out in the relationship and that's okay, often there will be heartbreak before you meet the one. Think about why you have the urge to talk to your ex. Are you feeling lonely? Are you lacking affection or attention? Do you miss being in a relationship? Reasons like these to your urges can be cured by one thing: self-care. Being single, or alone, is not a curse, it is a blessing. Use the time you have to nourish yourself and learn how to enjoy your own company. You cannot rely on a partner to take care of you or to make you feel happy, only you can fulfill yourself.

usually when you have a temptation to contact your ex, just distract yourself from contacting them by doing what hobbies you like or going out with friends or watching shows. this will help you from contacting your ex and keeps your mind occupied with other things. if this doesn't help out, delete their phone number or any social media so that you don't have any other way to contact them at all. this would help you deal with contacting your ex and stuff. another thing you can do is to talk to a friend about what is going through your mind and why you want to contact them.

Try to get involved in other activities. Try to discover new things which amaze you and distract you from the things that cause mischief in your head. It's hard to control the the temptation at first but gradually you will definitely beocme habitual of not texting him/her. Try to discover yourself what you're without him/her. Try to be your own self. Let go of your past. Try to meet new people and keep yourself busy. Go out and see how beautiful nature is. Nature is best healer. It will heal you. It will heal everything. Just believe me. Take care!

I think about how much they wronged me. When I think about that I just get angery an do not even want to talk to them. I tell myself contacting them would only make me feel worse and take me back steps in the moving on process. The relationship ended for a reason and there is no reason to to go back. I do not want to open up that wond again after I have worked hard to get in agood place after the break up. Think about the positives and negatives in contacting them. For me there are more negatives.

Wanting to reach out to your ex is a normal feeling, and is good that you acknowledge that. You are not alone, and most people that went through breakups have felt this way too. If going back together is not something you are planning, then try to focus on the reasons why you two broke up. What things made the relationship hard to work out, and try to stay honest about it. Usually we tend to diminish the bad things when we want someone back, but staying honest to yourself and honestly recalling the negative aspects that lead to the breakup will help you stay away. This won't only help you to not call your ex, but to figure out what things you would do differently in a future relationship, and what things you can't compromise in a relationship.

It is important to know one's worth and remember why the relationship ended to begin with. Having self-love can also help with moving forward and being hopeful for better things. Remembering one's worth can also keep one from going back to unhealthy situations. It can be difficult after a breakup and might even feel lonely, but it is important to remain strong during the times one feels lonely and to remember that there are still things to look forward to. Falling in love with one's self can make life romantic again, and give one hope to share their love with someone else, once the time is right.

It can be tempting to contact your ex or look online to find out what they are up to. It’s important to remember that there’s a reason the relationship ended and to reflect on what you’ve learned as a result. In order to move forward, it’s often not healthy or productive to contact your ex, as you’ll be repeating patterns of the past. Everyone we meet and each experience that we have is a learning opportunity and a growth exercise. In many cases it may be counterproductive to your progress to contact your ex, so where possible – reach out to a friend instead.

My best suggestion is to always find something to occupy your mind. I think different activities, ie going for a walk without your phone, hanging out with friends and even taking a nap helps. Music helps me personally. I think that there is a time in your life that things will change and you will no longer feel the urge to do so. Only time can tell when that will be. As well as, an occupied mind always makes time go by faster. I know it can be rather pain-stacking when it comes to time, but eventually the time will pass and you will no longer even think of your ex.

I say to myself: Think about the situation for a minute. Is this something you have to do right now? Is contacting your ex really what's best for you? It's time to put yourself first. Reach out to a friend and talk about it, keep yourself busy and do things you enjoy as well as things you're passionate about. It's okay to be sad, it's okay if you haven't moved on, it's okay if it takes a long time to move on, it's okay to think about him sometimes, everything you're feeling right now is completely normal. Moving on is hard but time always helps. Remember, you are stronger than you think!

Try to remember why you guys broke up in the first place. If they have set certain boundaries, then try your best to respect them and keep distance between the two of you. If you initiated the breakup because of negativity and toxicity from your partner's side, try to remember why you chose to leave in the first place. It's best to try to move on and try to leave things in the past after a breakup. Going back never really gives any good results in the end. Just do your best to heal and get over the breakup alone and try to work on yourself.

One way is just to block them, and remove all information from your range of view. That goes along with the phrase "out of sight, out of mind". Ask yourself if you really miss THEM or the IDEA of them. Do you miss the things that go along with or are supposed to go along with a relationship or do you actually miss the person themselves? Did they do you wrong? If they already have moved on, is it really going to be good for either of you if you contact them? Give these kind of scenarios a thought before pushing the call or text buttons. Stay strong.

I have never had this situation, although I often feel tempted to contact a friend/mentor of mine whom I feel I have overstepped boundaries. What I did was I literally burned the bridges until they cannot be rebuilt in any way anymore, that's how the temptation disappears. It is hard to resist the temptation due to the shared sentiments and memories that are precious and nostalgic. Sometimes, I think, we have to let go. Maybe in another parallel universe, we would be together with them, enjoying our days together, splendidly and wonderfully. But in this life, that is probably not what happens, and we have to let go.

Reflect on the reason he is your ex. If YOU broke up with them, then why did you break up with them? If they were your ideal life partner then you would've never broken up with them. If their good outweighed their bad you would still be together. When you make a decision, never leave room for regret, and never make a decision with the intention of not sticking to it. Don't forget the pain they've caused you. If they broke up with you because of something you've done (or maybe for no reason at all) then it's best if you just spend your energy on focusing on yourself. Although it's possible they didn't break up with you because of something you lack, I think it's best if you take a break and develop yourself into something they can't ever have again. If despite this message you let your temptation take the best of you then before you do so, imagine your past self and how you felt when your relationship was over. Contact your ex, but don't forget that person and how they swore they'd never go back. Remember.

I understand and have also been through the need to reach out to an ex. While it always a struggle, Ive found that stopping to think it through is the first step. What are you hoping to achieve by contacting them? Maybe think about what you genuinely believe the outcome would be if that would be different from what you are hoping it would be. Also think about what might have triggered this need along with reflecting on why the relationship truly ended and if that is something worth revisiting. Often we miss the positives and forget the negatives. Have you thought or tried to distract yourself as well? Whether is is reading or watching a movie, discussing something with a friend sometimes distracting myself works for me. What are things that help you take your mind off things in general? Favorite hobbies or destressors?

Ask yourself, would you watch a horrible movie twice or read a bad book twice? No, because you already know how it will end. So If you already know it will not be a good idea why entertain it? Take up a hobby or come to 7cups and chat with one of the listeners, like myself! Don't ever go backwards in life we must always move forward. On the other hand, if you feel it is the right thing to do than more power to you, it is your decision and your life so choose wisely. Good luck!

Distract yourself with things that you love:) hang out with your friends or read or take a nap! Normally that temptation comes from boredom but if you are constantly thinking about it you might need to see a professional. Trust me, going through with it just fills you with so so so much regret. It is not good for you. It just makes you feel worse than you already are. Your best bet is to try to move on. When you break up with someone, it just shows that you two weren’t meant to be, so try your best to move on from that relationship as it isn’t worth it.

I think it is important to reflect on why you want to contact this person, are you bored? Lonely? Seeking validation? As difficult as it is in these moments it is absolutely worth taking a few moments to ground yourself in the present moment with these questions and consider the reasons why contact was severed in the first place. Is this someone you actually want to be in contact with or is there an idea of a person, or a feeling you had whilst with them that you miss? I try to view breakups as a sort of rebirth, an opportunity if you will. While this can be frightening,look at all the things you can do while you’re single! Your schedule is entirely your own, your time, your space and your wants and needs. Freedom is a hot commodity, you deserve to use it! This is a fleeting feeling and distraction tactics like hanging out with friends or family will ease the discomfort until it passes😊