Feminine but confident, and I'm sick of people not comprehending that
I love typical girly things. Hair, makeup, fashion, baby pink, flowers, etc., and I'm a very sensitive, kind, loving individual. However, I also love doing hard work, coming up with new ideas and putting them into motion, pushing myself to go further than before, and just all around being a hard (and smart) worker. I often find myself going above and beyond just to achieve things outside of the norm for my age, and helping out everyone around me that I possibly can so that they can feel the same happiness that comes with achieving their goals. Nevertheless, I feel an imbalance and it's driving me crazy. I see all this crap online about how "biologically women are submissive" and all this bs. It just drives me further and further away from the girly things I do like, because the last thing I want is someone seeing me as inferior simply because I choose to present my more feminine traits a certain day.
Don't know if anyone else also feels this way but yeah. It's getting annoying. Why can't people just accept that I can like girly, feminine things, and not want to be a submissive doormat to a guy.
I'm not saying I don't want to be a lady either. I'm perfectly happy letting a gentleman open a door for me, push my chair in, take off my shoes, etc., and I will appreciate him and show my appreciation in many ways. However, my problem only comes when a guy (or heck, even a girl), expects me to be someone I'm not for them just because they have this painted idea in their head of how I'm "supposed to act". Sick of it.
@Emberlin111 hey, i think you perfectly portrayed the way I am tbh!! but i get you, it's annoying how people on the internet are trying to force women into a submissive role, only because they have a fragile masculinity or a conservative upbringing. I'm not going to blame anyone or tell them they're wrong, but always know that in this world you are the only one who matters to you. so what if someone thinks you're too girly? they have no importance in your life unless you assign them some.
never let other's opinions or validation belittle you, you are much more than just a person they gossip about.
Thank you so much! I'll definitely remember this. It's time I only focus on myself and the opinions of those who do see me for who I truly am, no matter what. 😊💗
@Emberlin111 yayy!! that's the way to go!! i hope you have fun during this journey of self-love!!
@Emberlin111 I completely understand how you feel. It's painful when people try to fit us into these narrow stereotypes based on our sex. The truth is, we're all unique and have a mix of traits and interests. You have every right to enjoy any activities without feeling pressured to conform to anyone else's sexist expectations.
It's wonderful that you embrace your tastes, and there's no reason why that should undermine your capabilities as an individual. People should respect and accept you for who you are, a multifaceted individual with a range of interests.
One suggestion might be to engage in conversations with people who respect and value your diverse interests. Building a supportive community can help you feel more empowered to be yourself without the fear of judgment.
You're not alone in feeling this way, and it's heartening to see you standing up for what you believe in. Remember, you have the right to be yourself and pursue your interests without being confined by outdated notions of how women should behave. Those who truly appreciate and respect you will understand and support you in being your authentic self 💚
@Emberlin111
Dear Emberlin:
I am male, and I had the good fortune of working under the guidance of great female bosses who were very conscientious, talented, knowledgeable, goal-driven, and inspired trust that they were leading the team to success.
At the same time, they enjoyed all the privileges of women, like wearing pretty dresses (while men wear those boring suits), taking care of their appearance, having children, and enjoying their role as mothers.
Some had a more simple "folk" styie, others a more high-fashion "Vogue" style.
All were highly respected because of their conscientiousness, intelligence, knowledge, creativity and leadership skills.
Talking of a workplace environment, you can dress very pretty and use makeup, stay fit, etc., but as well as for men, there are certain non-written rules, depending on the place (one thing is Google, another Baker & McKenzie) of what is considered "professional" attire for the workplace.
In any case, you can be very feminine, do all the girly things you mention, and at the same time be effective, hard-working, brilliant, creative and successful.
If you find yourself in a place where they don't recognize that, move to another place where they will.
You deserve to express yourself as you are and flourish in all dimensions of your life.
@HealingTalk Wearing dresses, taking care of one's appearance, and having children is absolutely not a privilege. Women, whether in the workplace or elsewhere, face significant pressures and discrimination regarding these aspects.
@Mya000
I forgot to put a smiley next to "privileges" 😃.
In my humble experience, from the places I had the luck to work in, women have a lot more freedom to express their personality and style.
Having children is something amazing beyond words. It is not just a burden at all. Society has to make it compatible with a professional career (or any work).
I have seen many examples that this is possible. Including my mother and sister, bosses, and coworkers.
Most workplaces in the world have been awful for all human history. Slavery was widespread to start with, until very recently in historical timescales. Until postwar labor regulation, work conditions were inhumane.
Things have been improving, particularly for women (who were treated as objects without any rights for most of history, and still are in some places), surely not at the pace we wish. Social change is slow measured in biographical timescales. But very fast compared to the change pace during most of history (I compare my sister's condition with my mother, my grandmother, and on and so forth).
Advocacy for the rights of women is a powerful force for improvement. There is still a long way to go.
The original post connotes to me a cultural and socio-economic context similar to mine, where flourishing as a young woman in all aspects, while keeping a feminine identity, might be possible.
I might be wrong, though, sorry if this is the case.
@Emberlin111
Thank you for your post.
We have to always remember that people are different and so are their ideas of the world around them. Its hard to accept ideas that are radically different from our own, of course that is very difficult to even hear them. People only want to undermine someone because it brings them joy to disrespect. The main thing for us is to not let it get to our own head. The moment we do that, we have already lost. Take care of your own wellbeing first and dont let others come into the way.
@Emberlin111
Hi there. By their nature women are strong and fierce. The best guard dogs are female, as their motherly instincts to protect are sharper and more resilient than most males, many preferring aloofness. Lioness's do most of the hunting, together in packs when able, while the males generally baby sit. There's also no real evidence men were hunters while females gathered, roles that were most likely shared and overlapped in reality.
Ultimately, the genders are just two sides to the same body-mind experience we all share. Women feeling masculine or men feeling feminine are both normal, even routine parts of life as we empathize with one another along our journeys. The toxicity of gender identity comes from the exclusionary feeling like you're having some superlative experience, that you're just the tips of the top and all others just can't comprehend so are put down unjustly(likely projection).
Well, I'm here to tell you that is plainly ridiculous. We've all been there. In fact I would wager nearly every living thing thinks itself a "(wo)man", in that it has senses and hungers, feels and thinks, has joys and wonders, and is curious and intelligent.
You have every right to refuse to be a 'slave'. Ironically, it's their slave mentality they are seeking to project into you. Run away, take flight! Know thyself and stay true to you