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I'm not sure where else to put this so I'm putting it here.
I'm 16, gonna be 17 in a couple months, and I never understood the whole motherhood thing. I've had multiple people in my life, from my grandma, teachers, and even strangers tell me that I'm somehow wrong for not wanting children when I get older. I've just never had that desire, and I'm certain I never will. Growing up, I was always annoyed when I was watching shows or movies and I had to watch scenes about babies/little kids. Also, I've taken care of living things before, from having to babysit some of my mom's friend's children, to watching my dog whose a puppy, and I've never gotten that moment of just pure caretaking desire. I just do it because I have to. Sure they can be cute, but I'd much prefer doing other things that actually fulfill me.
For a couple years now I've been really interested in entrepreneurship and public speaking. I'm on an early graduation plan, and I consider myself to be very goal-oriented as well as driven. It's my dream to travel the world someday, to inspire others, and I have no problem getting up early and working hard to make that happen (despite my not so ideal family environment). I'm not saying I don't care about others, I do, I give as much as I can give to those close to me, and I want to help people in the world get back on their feet. I just hate this notion that because I want a life that's fulfilling to me, that there's something wrong with me. Me not having a kid isn't the end of the world, and I'm sick of people acting like it is.
I'm now going to go over some "points" people tell me in hopes of making me change my mind:
1. Don't you care about continuing your bloodline and your legacy?
For starters, if who I am entirely changed when I woke up tomorrow and I decided that when I'm older I do want kids, I would not have them for that kind of shallow reason. Why should your kid, who has their own life, only be created to carry on what you made? They deserve to do what they want to do with THEIR life. My legacy can be remembered in the hearts of those who knew me. I don't need a kid to carry that on for me.
2. When you're really old you'll be alone.
No I won't. I'll have other family, friends, and my community. I know how to actually bond with people on a deep level, instead of only seeing them for what I can gain from them (crazy right? Seeing humans as humans and not as status symbols. Woah!). Therefore, I'll have meaningful connections that aren't solely determined by blood.
3. No guy will want you, and if they do they're not masculine.
First of all I truly believe I may of found the one already, however I am still really young so I'm not expecting it to last forever, but if it does I wouldn't be surprised. He's kind, thoughtful, artistic, empathetic, patient, funny, intelligent, and also focused on improving himself as we get older. He also knows how to cook which I find really charming. I purposely listed what would be considered a bunch of traditional "feminine" traits to prove a point. Feminine and masculine traits aren't subject to one singular gender. Too many women get upset with themselves because they hate feeling "weak", and too many men get upset with themselves because they hate having to "be strong all the time". With this boy I've met, yes he's also strong, but he knows he can have those weak moments with me. I'm the same way with him. When he's down, I'm there for him. When I'm down, he's there for me. When we're both down, we're there for each other. When we're both up, we continue to grow. If things don't end up working out with this guy, and for whatever reason I never fall in love again, I would much rather be single and fulfilled than in a lifestyle I don't want. (Also, if me simply being myself is "disempowering" or "imasculating" to a guy, then that's his problem. Not mine.)
4. We are meant to reproduce.
Yes, reproduction will keep the human species alive, but are we in any grave danger of going extinct anytime soon? No.
I hate what's expected of not only myself, but everyone, based solely on their gender. We are all unique individuals. I love typical girly things such as dresses, flowers, etc., but that doesn't define who I am. People saying to me that I'll "change my mind once I'm older", and all of these things doesn't change me, it only annoys me. I would rather die than not live my life aligned with myself.
I really don't care what anyone has to say about biology, evolution, etc., whatever. This is who I am. It's who I've always been. If the world reversed and my rights were stripped away from me, then as I've said before, I would rather die than continue on with a life where I can't be who I am.
