Why do people these days talk about therapy like it's so great and it's works for everyone
I get that it works for some people, but it hasn't ever worked for me, and I know others who have a similar frustration, especially people from other cultures. It's totally alienating to be told since your treatment isn't working, you're the problem. Like, if your cancer treatment isn't working, it's not the cancer treatment, you're clearly the problem so we should just keep on doing the same thing that's not working. Some people like dogs and some don't. Some people like chocolate and some don't. Why is it hard to believe that a particular treatment style doesn't work well for everyone? Is it possible that instead of trying to force everyone down the same path, we research alternative methods to see if something else is effective?
@blindbob Personally, I can't think of anyone I know who talks about therapy like it works for everyone.
I completely agree with you that if something isn't working it makes no sense to keep doing the same thing. And I also agree with you that any particular treatment style isn't going to work for everyone. It's certainly pointless, and potentially harmful, to force everyone down the same path.
However, it's a simple matter of fact that there are several very different approaches to therapy. Some of the people who report that therapy doesn't work for them only have experience of one approach. Unfortunately there isn't any way (except trial and error) to find out which approach is best for any particular individual, as far as I know.
And another simple matter of fact is that therapists have different levels of skill. Some of the people who report that therapy doesn't work for them only have experience of relatively unskilled therapists. Unfortunately this is sometimes because highly skilled therapists can and do charge more, and may have long waiting lists.
Researching alternatives is definitely a great idea, I think—far better than getting stuck in therapy that's not working.
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie I met a woman from Kenya who was studying psych in the UK. Then she went through a crisis and realized how inadequate it was, but she found some of her culture's traditional treatments so much better so she changed her whole perspective. Her research is now looking at traditional cultural methods for mental health treatment. I wonder how her research is going or if it's effective since we don't have the societal support structures that they do.
@blindbob That's a good point. Culture and social structures can also be important factors in all this.
Charlie
@blindbob I get what you’re saying. A lot of the therapy I got did not work for me. Eventually I found the type of therapy that worked, but what worked for me may not work for others. I have a major distrust of anything that puts the blame for something not working on the “client.” Some of the offenders are self help books, get rich schemes, and some religions. They will say, “the reason this did not work for you is because you didn’t BELIEVE.” Self affirmations is an example from popular self help programs. You can’t force yourself to believe what you don’t believe just by saying it over and over. The human brain is way smarter than that technique gives us credit. A better psychology works with what you DO believe and then works from there. Anyway, don’t give up on all therapy, but do continue to trust your instinct, I think it will serve you well.
— All the best
@helpfulAvocado7912 So what therapy did you try?
@blindbob I tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Try googling “Dr David Burns TED talk”. I worked with a therapist that was trained in Dr Burns TEAM CBT. I found it was really easy to understand and apply in daily life. I found general talk therapy helpful as well but a lot depends on the particular therapist.
@blindbob
My friend is the same way. They've had the experience of a therapist disregarding what they say and being no help. I have a therapist and it has helped me but I know for a fact that everyone is different. I feel like therapy is advertised a lot but only talking therapy. There are other forms of therapy like art therapy, music therapy, even pet therapy. You have to find what is best for you and if someone has something against it, they are not worth your time.
Best
I could answer my opinion of why (to your question) but it's extremely misanthropic. Instead I'll just say I've personally experienced that every single person who got the chance to say it to me directly has said to me that therapy is the universal answer and disengaged at the first question to provoke further thinking on the matter.
An important thing to remember is of course that therapists are individuals, and also that there are different schools of therapy studied to be efficacious for different situations. I think it's possible that therapy could eventually help most people, however for the people who have struggled to find adequate help for long enough it's also understandable to be totally exhausted.
That sounds frustrating and I can relate. Everyone is different and one form of intervention doesn’t mean it will work for everyone. I’m sorry it’s been difficult for you so far. I hope you will find someone who can really understand where you are coming from and find a happy medium.
